Should I tell my friend about cheating boyfriend?

[Tammy]

I am worried about my best friend who is five months pregnant and living with her boyfriend the one who made her pregnant. I found out that he is fooling around with another woman and lots of people have seen them together in town. I don't know if I should tell her about this or not but I will feel bad if she finds out from someone else.

[Tony T]

You know your friend best. You could actually end up the bad guy here. You could give her the news...but in her condition, psychologically she needs to trust and count on her guy...and if he denies things she will probably believe him if she is madly in love with him...mainly because she needs to at this point. A pregnant woman could indulge in some deep denial, even if you brought a host of witnesses. Some women would not even believe videos of the indiscretions if you showed them to them.

 

If you think your friend can handle this, you probably shouldn't hold back...but be quite prepared for her to be angry with you...if only for a while. Very often in these cases the messenger is considered more evil than the message. To a pregnant lady, the worst message she could receive would be about the unfaithfulness of her partner in creation...the man she trusts to be there for her forevermore in raising her new child. To her, this partner's infideltiy could be the end of her world and take much of the happiness away from an otherwise event of a lifetime.

 

This information will shake every bone in her body and the foundation of her life. Do not take the task of advising her lightly. You may even want to consult her doctor first to see what impact her reaction could have on her pregnancy. Perhaps her doctor can't discuss this case with you...but any doctor can advise you and perhaps even take this burden from your shoulders or postpone it with what he/she says.

 

If this guy's misbehavior is so chronic and she has no hint of it, I promise you she is blinded by circumstance and doesn't want to see it. If you can figure out another way for her to learn of this, do so. Why have none of these other first hand witnesses not come to her?

 

Yes, you are her best friend and by virtue you should know how best to bring this up to her. It troubles me greatly to sit here and even begin to think of putting myself in your place. I would rather have a dentist root canal every tooth in my mouth.

[Lucille]

I think that women usually know on some level if their partner is cheating and just don't want to see it for one reason or another. (In this case she has one very good reason for being in denial). She won't be thanking for you making her face it. I know that it's difficult to stand by and watch her partner do something so low, but I would think long and hard before interfering. Concentrate on being there for her instead.

[Jenna]

Maybe you should try talking to the boy-friend. Whether or not this gets you anywhere-depends on him and how you approach the subject. I think everyone is in agreement that your friend is not in any condition to handle this news right now. You have a better insite into how the boyfriend feels about your friend. You could explain to him that not only are the lives of two adults involved- but also the lives of an innocent unborn child- his child. If the boy-friend has fallen in love with someone else- there is little you can do about the situation- except urge him to be a man and end the relationship with your friend. If the infidelity involves meaningless encounters with random people- explain that you know what is going on and its putting you in a terrible situation. He should know that there is something terribly wrong with this picture, meaning- why are you the only one who seems to be concerned with your friend and her baby? He is the father-and the partner- he needs to take some responsibility here. He could be putting the future relationship with his child at risk by acting out this way.

 

If he cares -he will listen. If he doesn't care- your friend most likely will (or already has) figure him out. Be a good friend-there may come a time when you are all she has- so make sure you are the best of the best friends.

 

Jenna

I think that women usually know on some level if their partner is cheating and just don't want to see it for one reason or another. (In this case she has one very good reason for being in denial). She won't be thanking for you making her face it. I know that it's difficult to stand by and watch her partner do something so low, but I would think long and hard before interfering. Concentrate on being there for her instead.

[roses]

I think that women usually know on some level if their partner is cheating and just don't want to see it for one reason or another. (In this case she has one very good reason for being in denial). She won't be thanking for you making her face it. I know that it's difficult to stand by and watch her partner do something so low, but I would think long and hard before interfering. Concentrate on being there for her instead.