youaretheone Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Me and my girlfriend are both 22 and we are in a pretty young relationship. We were having a random conversation about marriages and I asked her if she has any qualities she looks for before she decides to marry a guy. She told me she feels she is young to think about these and has never thought about it before. Then she admits that I'm the first one to make her think about that, not even her girl friends asked her these questions. After a while, she said that maybe she wouldn't be very comfortable with marrying a guy who has a deadly disease but she really doesn't know what she would do. Her father-in-law and grandparents all suffer from a cancer and she can't handle the loss of another person she loves. Then I ask her if she would leave the guy if he turns out to have one of these diseases and she replies "Of course not. I would help him heal." I'm not really planning to marry her or anyone yet but her view about these made me think twice. Is this a red flag for a future long term relationship with this girl or is it more likely a sudden thought that could change with time depending on the guy she loves and the conditions? I was just wondering and would like to hear what you'll say. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted September 1, 2011 Share Posted September 1, 2011 Is this a red flag for a future long term relationship with this girl or is it more likely a sudden thought that could change with time depending on the guy she loves and the conditions? at your age, it's not likely something you've deeply thought about because you're out there enjoying life. In her case, though, she's got personal experience with a deadly disease, so it's in the back of her head that it's not something she'd *choose* to face with someone if she could predict the future. No one would, IMO. however, you need to consider the other part of her comment, about helping her loved one heal: That shows she's not totally heartless, and a good indicator that if it comes down to the wire, she's committed to that person. My guess is that if it happened within the framework of marriage, she'd stay because she loved her partner. it's a whole other crap-shoot if it was just dating, because your parameters are different, and I'm talking about people in general, not her specifically. Link to post Share on other sites
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