Wife of three years says she doesn't love me anymore...

[poldo0507]

So today I asked my wife why she always bring her iphone with her every where she goes even in the restroom, eventhough she has put a passcode it. She just answered that she got used to it. I got pissed and challenge that if she's not hiding anything, she could unlock it and show things to me. She reacted that I'm being suspicious to her and she would have unlocked it if I asked her nicely... BS.

 

So I told her that I think she's cheating on me and told her I think it's her co-worker. She again said they're just friends and even sarcastically saying that why on earth would I focus on that guy, can't I think of anybody else...

 

So I have decided to move out of this house tomorrow. I plan to talk to her parents about my move, is that advisable? I want to hear my side first. I haven't got a solid evidence yet from her FB so I don't plan to bring them up since she might change her password and I won't be able to spy on her anymore....

 

She's so heartless. When she left for work, she texted me that I shouldn't be bummed out, we shouldn't fight since she wants to keep our friendship and not burn the bridge... BS. I calmly replied that i won't fight her and will move on since she has moved on herself already.

 

P.S. - I know I have been trying to deny that she is having an affair but I just found out that she shove her hair down below. Really insulting and painful... No wonder she has been curling her hair everytime she goes to work. Apparently, she wasn't trying to look beautiful for me....

[fenderstrathss]

I'm sorry you're going through this man, but at least you're getting to the truth. Curious, who is the owner of the iphone account? If your name is on the account, the company can give you a printout of all incoming and outgoing calls and texts on the phone. Did she ever let you see the phone? If not, she is definitely hiding something. The fact that she is shaving down there is a pretty much 100% sign that somebody is seeing that area, and if it isn't you, it is for someone else. Women loathe shaving and only do it when someone will see it. Again, I'm sorry and I hope this transition isn't too painful for you. Also, I would not be her friend after this. **** her. She doesn't deserve your friendship. Just be cordial with each other if children are involved. She sure isn't being your friend right now by lying and treating you like dirt, why would you want to be her friend? Also, yes, tell her parents. Expose her affair to as many friends and family as possible. Part of the excitement of an affair is the secrecy and one that secrecy is gone, and the person feels shame about other people knowing, the affair can lose its steam. We are here if you need someone to talk to or vent.

[andyg99]

comments in BOLD

 

So today I asked my wife why she always bring her iphone with her every where she goes even in the restroom, eventhough she has put a passcode it. She just answered that she got used to it. I got pissed and challenge that if she's not hiding anything, she could unlock it and show things to me. She reacted that I'm being suspicious to her and she would have unlocked it if I asked her nicely... BS.

 

yup, I know about that - your suspicions are correct....

 

So I told her that I think she's cheating on me and told her I think it's her co-worker. She again said they're just friends and even sarcastically saying that why on earth would I focus on that guy, can't I think of anybody else...

 

It's probably him, small chance it's someone else, but make no mistake, it's someone...

 

So I have decided to move out of this house tomorrow. I plan to talk to her parents about my move, is that advisable? I want to hear my side first. I haven't got a solid evidence yet from her FB so I don't plan to bring them up since she might change her password and I won't be able to spy on her anymore....

 

It depends on your relationship with her parents... if it is very close then maybe you talk to them, if not leave it be and do what you have to do for yourself...

 

She's so heartless. When she left for work, she texted me that I shouldn't be bummed out, we shouldn't fight since she wants to keep our friendship and not burn the bridge... BS. I calmly replied that i won't fight her and will move on since she has moved on herself already.

 

I agree 100% with the poster above - screw the friendship thing, you can find better friends at random in the supermarket, she is f-g you over, be strong and move on....

 

P.S. - I know I have been trying to deny that she is having an affair but I just found out that she shove her hair down below. Really insulting and painful... No wonder she has been curling her hair everytime she goes to work. Apparently, she wasn't trying to look beautiful for me....

 

that hurts so much, I feel your pain buddy... get her out of your life and move forward... put your energy into parenting

 

[poldo0507]

Sorry if I haven't been it touch with you guys but I just want to give everyone an update. I moved out since last Sunday. That day, I managed to open her iphone and read her msgs to that OM. Although the messages didn't sound romantic, it's still something. So I told her I'm leaving her and packed my stuff. Her parents and older sister tried to get in my way, convinced me to stay for the benefit of my daughter, and also that they've convinced my wife to give our marriage a second chance. But when I looked at her, no remorse and sincerity whatsoever so I left.

 

Every now and then, I have to come to her mom's house at night to put my daughter to sleep and stay with her (wife works graveyard shift) till the mother comes home from work. I'm following the 180 and don't make physical contact with her unless necessary. I have accepted the fact that she is gone and I should move on as well. I just can't help but feel hateful once in a while about the betrayal.

 

So her friend has invited her and the family for a kid's birthday party tomorrow. She asked me if I could join her and our daughter just so the kid won't feel left out with the other kids having a mom and a dad. Told her No and that she can always do what she can to make our daughter enjoy the party.

[andyg99]

great job, it isn't easy but you are doing the right thing!

[fenderstrathss]

great job, it isn't easy but you are doing the right thing!

Agreed. Also, you have a right to be angry. Just don't do anything stupid that would jeopardize you being able to see your child.

[poldo0507]

I need some help... I'm confused.

 

So yesterday while communicating with my W through yahoo messenger while she's at work, she told me that her aunt from abroad called. They talked about what happened to us, gave her some advice that we should clear our head and heart so we can decided what we want. Told her that I have to continue being away from her and move on. She said she is confused too and need to fix herself to not have emotional breakdowns again.

 

Out of nowhere, she made a joke that it gets lonely like this without sex and asked if we could be friends with benefits? I told her it's no big deal with me (I miss her too and could take advantage of it). She said she has been wanting me but controlled herself to not be unfair with me.

 

So she came home and I grabbed her. She was being shy but we kissed. Nothing happened after that but we talked and she said that she's worried that we might get back together because of sex, and not fix the problem with our marriage. I think she's right, right? I think I'm just lonely and jumped the wagon right away.

 

So what do you guys/gals think? I don't want her to get this need when she can't handle it anymore, from someone else. And I miss her too and need some of it myself. I think it will only get our situation more confusing and temporarily hide our problem in the first place. But is she wanting me means she still has feelings for me? I asked her that and said that she still does. I'm really confused. Help!

[EgoJoe]

This is my first post in this section and my experience is limited with the knowledge I've gained recently and yet I want to stress that if you do the FWB thing. You had better give her the best sex of her and your life.

[fenderstrathss]

I need some help... I'm confused.

 

So yesterday while communicating with my W through yahoo messenger while she's at work, she told me that her aunt from abroad called. They talked about what happened to us, gave her some advice that we should clear our head and heart so we can decided what we want. Told her that I have to continue being away from her and move on. She said she is confused too and need to fix herself to not have emotional breakdowns again.

 

Out of nowhere, she made a joke that it gets lonely like this without sex and asked if we could be friends with benefits? I told her it's no big deal with me (I miss her too and could take advantage of it). She said she has been wanting me but controlled herself to not be unfair with me.

 

So she came home and I grabbed her. She was being shy but we kissed. Nothing happened after that but we talked and she said that she's worried that we might get back together because of sex, and not fix the problem with our marriage. I think she's right, right? I think I'm just lonely and jumped the wagon right away.

 

So what do you guys/gals think? I don't want her to get this need when she can't handle it anymore, from someone else. And I miss her too and need some of it myself. I think it will only get our situation more confusing and temporarily hide our problem in the first place. But is she wanting me means she still has feelings for me? I asked her that and said that she still does. I'm really confused. Help!

 

 

She's yo-yoing you man. She feels you pulling away and it makes her uneasy, so she uses sex to rope you back in and test to see if she can still tug you around. You need to stop this now. You just confirmed to her that she can treat you however she wants and you'll come back every time. Don't give her ANY romantic attention until she is devoted to you 100%.

[poldo0507]

EgoJoe - I know but i have a feeling it won't be a one time thing.

 

Fenderstrathss - I don't want to be negative but I do know that if she wants me, it should be after we have committed to being back together and fixing our marriage. You're right, I shouldn't give in to her easily. It's just I'm really attracted to my wife and I miss her...

[poldo0507]

Shoot! Something happened. My daughter went outside the room and was with the babysitter when my wife decided to go to bed. It was 10am. I went outside the room to check my kid when she asked if I'll be coming back inside, told her yes. When I was back, she asked me to stay with her and that's when it happened. We made out then had sex. And I liked it coz I was feeling lonely myself.

 

After that, she told me she felt guilty. I can tell she didn't do it for love but for lust. I hate to admit that I am starting to feel different toward her too. Like I did it because I felt like doing it. So I also felt guilty in some way. We agreed to keep our hands away from each other. I don't want to have sex with other women since I still respect our marriage and think she's still my wife. Looks like I have to find other ways to get this want off my head.

 

But what happened made me realize I totally ruined the 180. Worst, it could screw our morals and that sex should only be done with people you love. Not because of lust. If we'll keep on doing this, her head will get screwed and will give her the courage to do this with someone else coz she has done it with me, someone whom she doesn't love...