diamondette Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 ok so im always on here asking advice on my BF as i cant stop snooping. he broke my trust a year ago and since then im always checking his fb and phone. i always confront him about his phone but never his FB (didnt want him to change the password so i cant get in) BUT im always wrong and im going insane from it. i want to change before i lose him (think i even may need councilling) anyway i told him last night from now on to stop leaving his phone around so it removes my temptation. but i still check his FB. anyway until he removes that temptation i will look. can i say to him i have been looking there too and i need you to change your password to lock me out. will he dump me or give me points for finally being honest??? i want/need to change but until he removes all temptation i wont be able to stop looking. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 Don't blame him for your problems. If you want to change then you need to change. Having him hide all his things is no way to live. It seems as though you are not ready for a relationship so you should probably split up and just be single until your problems are resolved. Link to post Share on other sites
Author diamondette Posted September 2, 2011 Author Share Posted September 2, 2011 pegnosepete. I am trying to change.. i have seen a councillor about this once but its costing alot for an hour so cant afford it. ive admitted i have a problem, he does tell me little white lies which get to me alot but there not lies that really can hurt me (ie cheating etc) so i need to learn that its ok he ****ed up in the passed but wont do it again and whilst i got the temptation then i no ill look Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 (edited) If you started this snooping after he broke your trust, then you need to forgive and forget. You might need to talk to him more about this, and I do not mean by asking him to increase the security on his personal property and accounts. If you've always been this way, then you have trust issues in general. You need to fix that or you will never have a successful relationship. Stop snooping. Make goals for yourself such as "I will not look at his phone or hack into his fb for one week". Do it and see if you feel a sense of accomplishment. I used to be a snooper in my teens/early 20s. Luckily I matured and realized if I can't trust someone I just won't be with them. I would get a happy feeling when I found "nothing", but that feeling was short-lived and I would be back to snooping again. It's as though I was looking for proof that would validate my distrust so I could yell "see!! I knew you were messing around behind my back!" But, what does this accomplish? Will you really feel better about being "right"? Are you going to leave him if you find something? Edited September 2, 2011 by ScienceGal Link to post Share on other sites
spice4life Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 ok so im always on here asking advice on my BF as i cant stop snooping. he broke my trust a year ago and since then im always checking his fb and phone. i always confront him about his phone but never his FB (didnt want him to change the password so i cant get in) BUT im always wrong and im going insane from it. i want to change before i lose him (think i even may need councilling) anyway i told him last night from now on to stop leaving his phone around so it removes my temptation. but i still check his FB. anyway until he removes that temptation i will look. can i say to him i have been looking there too and i need you to change your password to lock me out. will he dump me or give me points for finally being honest??? i want/need to change but until he removes all temptation i wont be able to stop looking. Definitely be honest with him and ask I'm to change the passwords. Then both of you should make a concerted effort to help you through. Link to post Share on other sites
Author diamondette Posted September 2, 2011 Author Share Posted September 2, 2011 update for you guys (And thanks for the replys): i have told him i also check his emails and he didnt flip out (phew!), he said he is glad i do that cos it proves he isnt who he was anymore and he never had anything to hide etc. we had a long chat and i feel tons better, he said he wont change the passwords cos he has nothing to hide so i can do as i like. he said he messed up in the past (btw he didnt cheat but used to lie about everything, big and small) but has grown up since then and wants me forever, i feel a ton of weight lifted off my shoulders and i hope it stays that way. Link to post Share on other sites
cupcakekk Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 i have the same problem with snooping.. i snoop with everyone i know. it's kinda ****ed. i used to snoop though peoples draws and stuff and i dont even know what i was looking for?? i havn't done that since like i was 13 i'm 19 now lol but i do find myself snooping for stuff on my boyfriends phone and FB a lot as well. i always find something that i think is "weird" but then i wont say anything and my boyfriend will be like oh this girl sent me a weird message on facebook the other day. so he's being honest with me. im trying to stop too but the temptation is strong. i looked at the history on my computer after my boyfriend used it and i saw that the history was erased ( it showed on the recently closed tabs remove history) not everything was removed only some things. so i asked him what are you hiding? and he told me he was looking at the history that i had been looking at and didn't know what to do. he was really embarrassed but i dont think he knows that i do the same thing! so i think it's not just a problem with girls but just certain people? i dont know... lol Link to post Share on other sites
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