TheMongoose Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 My ex and i broke up over 3 years ago, yet he still comes to every thanksgiving, family reunion, christmas, etc. We were together from the ages of 12-18 with little breaks in between so i understand that hes been around for awhile. In the last year were finally on good terms, i no longer hate him. Hes also brings his gf, the one he left me for once in awhile to these things and my family thinks shes the greatest thing. kinda a slap in the face. Neways shes really not bad there great together and really happy. The real problem is at this point is simply that ive been with my boyfriend now for 2 years. We have two kids(his with ex) and own a house together. My family like him but they dont treat him like they do the ex. Not to mention how he feels having my ex come to all these things. Ive talked to my family about this but they refuse to listen. They say my boyfriend should understand that the ex is family and he's going to have to just get along with him and get used to having him in our lives. They compare this to me getting along with the kids mother! I just dont know what to do. It bothers him to the point that he doesnt even want to go to anything of my families anymore.. Link to post Share on other sites
Nohbody Posted September 2, 2011 Share Posted September 2, 2011 Don't go to some family gatherings. Tell them under no uncertain terms: it's me or him. Your family needs to appreciate your boundaries, and if they don't - show them what it's like without you. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted September 3, 2011 Share Posted September 3, 2011 I can imagine how your family got attached to your ex over the years, but they really shouldn't be encouraging him to come along to all these family events against your wishes. Have you spoken to them about your feelings? Surely they should see that if he left you, you might feel hurt? Seems a bit thoughtless of them, if you ask me. Your boyfriend should understand that he might have to bump into your ex once in a while. I would think it's difficult for him if they are thrown together often by your family. Again, your family should be more understanding. It's very odd that your family is expecting everybody to 'get along' like this. They are being a bit thoughtless and unrealistic. It's almost as if they are keeping your ex around because they prefer him to your present boyfriend. I really think you need to speak to your family and make it clear to them you don't want your ex around when you are there. If your family don't agree, then why not just avoid these events where your ex might turn up? This will drive the point home with your family and avoid awkwardness. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TheMongoose Posted September 4, 2011 Author Share Posted September 4, 2011 I had an arguement with them today. They finally told me that they think we'll eventually see eachother and decide that we're "perfect" for eachother and get back together. I told them they can forget about seeing my family(fiance and kids) until they get over it. Although i dont plan on telling my fiance about it. They like him but he's quite around my family so they havent really gotten to know him. My ex has always been around and they all act like hes part of the family. So of course my fiance isnt comfortable enough to open up and be himself yet Link to post Share on other sites
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