17 days and counting!!!

[wannabdone]

17 very long days. 17 days filled with more emotions than one could think of. Saddness and grief, crying uncontrollably. Hatred and disbelief, how could I have allowed this, why is he not crawling and begging for me. Peacefullness, not hearing anymore of this constant bull **** of problems he has going on. Stupidity and Foolishness, again HOW DID I ALLOW THIS TO GO THIS LONG????

 

Constant wondering....whats wrong with me? Whats wrong with him? Is he miserable? God I hope hes miserable. Does he miss me? I miss him. I love him, I hate him. I would love to see him and just touch his face, I would love to see him and slap his face, and possibly kick him in the balls.

 

Anyone else going through these pains???? I think i'm going to call them my growing pains. I'm becoming a better person, and he is stuck being the same narcassitic bastard, miserable and lonely.

 

I am reclaiming my life. A life of peacefullness and happiness. A life that I can have someone love me day and night, 365 days a year, with out worry and guilt.

 

For all of you going through NC, stay strong!!!! And share you stories, it makes me feel less of a total crazy person!!!

[sleepessinoh]

First and formost...awesome job!! Good for you...17 days...keep going!

 

I am going through the same thing. One day I was so angry at him and spent the next day crying all day. I wonder if he misses me or just living his happy ol life. Last night he got on messenger and just sat there..he knew not to send a message but he is home with wifey and he cant be on at night like that...so I ask myself why...maybe cause he missed me and knew I would be there...lol pathetic I know cause it doesnt matter.

 

Thank you for sharing your growing pains. Keep on moving on!

[wannabdone]

Thx Sleepess....

 

This has got to be the hardest thing i've ever done. Yesterday, like an idiot I drove by his work, I was in the area, and for what reason I don't know, decided to drive by. Maybe to punish myself????

 

I didn't think it bothered me, but last night I went to bed early and slept like 12 hours. Woke up this morning, crying again. So I guess it did. I had been doing really good. Livivng off the anger. then BOOM..... saddness again. The not understanding of how he could seem so sincere when he told me he loved me and then why he can just turn around and walk away from me like i'm nothing. I could never be that cruel to anyone, even if I was done with them.

[wannabdone]

thank you LG, you are always comforting.

 

I'm going to stick to my guns, and your right HE IS THAT CRUEL.

[Lostinlife4now]

17 very long days. 17 days filled with more emotions than one could think of. Saddness and grief, crying uncontrollably. Hatred and disbelief, how could I have allowed this, why is he not crawling and begging for me. Peacefullness, not hearing anymore of this constant bull **** of problems he has going on. Stupidity and Foolishness, again HOW DID I ALLOW THIS TO GO THIS LONG????

 

Constant wondering....whats wrong with me? Whats wrong with him? Is he miserable? God I hope hes miserable. Does he miss me? I miss him. I love him, I hate him. I would love to see him and just touch his face, I would love to see him and slap his face, and possibly kick him in the balls.

 

Anyone else going through these pains???? I think i'm going to call them my growing pains. I'm becoming a better person, and he is stuck being the same narcassitic bastard, miserable and lonely.

 

I am reclaiming my life. A life of peacefullness and happiness. A life that I can have someone love me day and night, 365 days a year, with out worry and guilt.

 

For all of you going through NC, stay strong!!!! And share you stories, it makes me feel less of a total crazy person!!!

 

Oh wanabedone!!!! We are both in the same boat...I will be your paddle if you will be mine? 17 days.......YEAH FOR YOU!!!!!:bunny::bunny::bunny:

 

Oh yes, I want to kick, slap, pull his hair, and then some. But I also do have some kind of love for him, I mean 7 years is a long time. I always said his W is a lucky girl! Affair or no affair.....Even 5% of him is like getting 100%. I do hope and pray that he falls in love with his W again... Marriage can be good when both partners are happy....

 

But now back to US!!!!! You can do this and so can I.

 

Status so far....

 

Deleted him from my cell phone.

Blocked him on e-mail.

He doesn't facebook nor does she.

Sold a gold necklace he gave me....Only got $50 bucks...cheap ass

Removed the oovoo program from my computer...It's like skype......

 

What have you done to get rid of yours?

[wannabdone]

That sounds like a plan. We can do this together.

 

Unforunatley, I cannot say I hope he falls in love with his W. I hope he continues his life as is. Miserable.

 

I deleted his number, and block his emails.

 

Those things though haven't really ever been a big deal to me. I know it helps some people, but there are so many other ways for them to get ahold of you, doing that doesn't matter to me.

 

I just really want him to hurt. Sounds bad, and maybe that will change, but right now...FO SHO!!!!

[wannabdone]

How long for you now with NC?

[TurboGirl]

HOW DID I ALLOW THIS TO GO THIS LONG????

 

I'm becoming a better person, and he is stuck being the same narcassitic bastard, miserable and lonely.

 

YES!!! So true.

 

I am reclaiming my life. A life of peacefullness and happiness. A life that I can have someone love me day and night, 365 days a year, with out worry and guilt.

 

Again, true!!

 

For all of you going through NC, stay strong!!!! And share you stories, it makes me feel less of a total crazy person!!!

 

Yeah!!! 17 days is awesome. I remember when I hit the 2 week mark... still excruciating pain but I knew it was for the best in my head... took a while to get through to the rest of me. And of course, there were ups & downs.

 

Hey, at least you had a gold necklace to sell! My xMM was loaded and super cheap!! Hope that you did something fun and for yourself with that money.

 

I deleted all emails and photos too... that hurt... but again, for the best.

 

Ok... no more drive bys.... resist the urge! He is out of your life... you're on a little holiday now... focusing on what makes you happy. Umm obviously he didn't quite do it, right?

 

Keep up the great NC!

[fooled once]

Wanna,

 

You are doing great. One day at a time.

 

Did you read the tread I posted "what NC means"? If not, read it. If so, read it again

 

Each day you are getting stronger and moving forward! So proud of you!!

[wannabdone]

Yeah!!! 17 days is awesome. I remember when I hit the 2 week mark... still excruciating pain but I knew it was for the best in my head... took a while to get through to the rest of me. And of course, there were ups & downs.

 

Hey, at least you had a gold necklace to sell! My xMM was loaded and super cheap!! Hope that you did something fun and for yourself with that money.

 

I deleted all emails and photos too... that hurt... but again, for the best.

 

Ok... no more drive bys.... resist the urge! He is out of your life... you're on a little holiday now... focusing on what makes you happy. Umm obviously he didn't quite do it, right?

 

Keep up the great NC!

 

 

LOL.... Turbogirl, I have just grown to love you!!! 19 days today!!! Thx for the uplifting comment.

 

And I'm with you, in 10 years, I never got a damn thing. except for a hard time.

 

I promise, no more drive by's. I felt like a stupid idiot as soon as I did it. and yes, he is not what makes me happy. he is what makes me SAD!!!!!

[wannabdone]

Wanna,

 

You are doing great. One day at a time.

 

Did you read the tread I posted "what NC means"? If not, read it. If so, read it again

 

Each day you are getting stronger and moving forward! So proud of you!!

 

 

Thanks FO.... yes, I read that. And the comment I thought to make after was .....NC TO ME MEANS, GETTING MY LIFE BACK!!!!

 

Each day you do get stronger, with less time I think of him, but every once in a while it sneaks up. I have been debating on sending him a F OFF email. Not for him, but for me. To finally stand up for myself. Each time he does this I don't say anything, you know, always trying to leave that door open. This time, I don't want to leave that door open.