Should I make him choose between me and her, or just leave?

[singsparkles]

To make a long story short...I dated this guy for over a year. After we broke up, 4 months later (we were still hanging out) but I found out he was with another girl through facebook and didn't tell me about me about it. I felt betrayed.

 

 

When I had told him I found out about her, he told me he didn't want me to find out because "it wasn't that serious" and he still planned on being with me in the end... that he was just hanging out with her because he doesn't like to be lonely.

 

 

Now it's been 3 months since I found out, she changed her facebook status from "in a relationship" to "single", but it still says "in a relationship" on his. Just 2 weeks ago we got into an argument and he told me he wasn't going to leave her(although it said single on her facebook, he made it seem like they were still together)

 

 

I don't call him ever... So it's been weird because HE calls ME to hangout constantly, and we still act like a couple, do everything we used to, but I still feel emptiness because he's not truly mine anymore and I know that. I just wonder maybe he wants to have his cake and eat it too kind of thing?

 

 

Well he called me the other night, and we hung out and one thing led to another. I felt so sick afterward, like I didn't know what I did. I don't want to be "the other girl", it feels horrible and makes me feel so low about myself. I've never been this girl and don't intend to be. I just keep thinking to myself I was his girlfriend for so long and he loved ME...how could this be happening.

 

 

Then he had work so I had to drop him off... I found out a few weeks ago this girl lives on the same street of his work. I used to drop him off right in front of his work while we were together. Then today he made me drop him off a street down... to hide it from her? It was soo hurtful.

 

 

I want to give him an ultimatum, but then again another part of me just wants to leave it alone and start ignoring his calls so he gets it. I just don't know what to do.

 

 

Am I being dumb letting this happen, should I have been smarter in the first place? I know I could've and for some of you it's hard to understand... but I am in love with him and always have been.

 

 

I do still love him and I feel like he loves me too...but maybe not the same as he loved me before. I don't know what to feel or what to do.

 

 

When we're together I feel like time is standing still and I can't move or bring myself to say anything, because I just dont know what to do or how to be with him anymore. I used to feel so comfortable with him, he was my best friend. Now I just have these weird mixed emotions about everything, thinking he is seeing this girl and if he could choose maybe he wouldn't choose me. I don't know anymore.

 

 

To sum it up...I'm just wondering should I leave this guy alone? Should I give him an ultimatum? I'm willing to listen to anyone's advice! Thank you for your time:)

[D-Lish]

The thing is he DOES get it, he knows what he can get away with because both of you let him.

 

What can you do to make things better for you? Learn some self respect and enforce that idealogy.

 

You teach people how to treat you, and you've taught him you're willing to put up with being treated like crap.

[singsparkles]

Thank you for your advice! means a lot.

 

 

i agree completely... He does think he can do it because we let him... If I truly think about it, he really doesn't deserve me and everything I do for him in perspective. I definitely do think I deserve better than this... No girl should let herself be treated like this in the end, and if someone else told me this same story I would say the same thing you're saying.

 

 

I'm not saying it's easy, I will be hurt, but As much as I love him, it could be best if I just walk away and stop letting it happen. It might be hard, but will pay off and I'll probably be much happy in the end. Definitely something I've been contemplating doing. Maybe it's time I do it!

[wilsonx]

 

I'm not saying it's easy, I will be hurt, but As much as I love him, it is best if I just walk away and stop letting it happen. It will be hard, but will pay off and I'll will be much happy in the end. Definitely something I've been contemplating doing. It is time I do it!

 

This is much better

[D-Lish]

Thank you for your advice! means a lot.

 

 

i agree completely... He does think he can do it because we let him... If I truly think about it, he really doesn't deserve me and everything I do for him in perspective. I definitely do think I deserve better than this... No girl should let herself be treated like this in the end, and if someone else told me this same story I would say the same thing you're saying.

 

 

I'm not saying it's easy, I will be hurt, but As much as I love him, it could be best if I just walk away and stop letting it happen. It might be hard, but will pay off and I'll probably be much happy in the end. Definitely something I've been contemplating doing. Maybe it's time I do it!

 

Not could be best- will be best.

 

There is nothing more liberating than telling someone that treats you badly to ****-off.

[HeartOfAPhoenix]

There is nothing more liberating than telling someone that treats you badly to ****-off.

 

 

...

 

As funny as I think that statement is, I have to agree. Both for the OP's situation and in general.