How do I know it's really over?

[confusedgirl1]

Hi, thanks for listening again. So...a little background: We were together for 2 1/2 years, we lived together and I moved out when we broke up - then we got back together a few months ago and recently (after supposedly being "back together") I found him in bed with another woman ( if you could call her that, later I found out she's 19, he's 26). When I busted in on him he wouldnt speak to me and I walked out in tears. He called me back later begging me for forgiveness saying how its over, she was a friend, it went too far, she was pushing herself on him and he didn't know what to do, she meant nothing, he made a big mistake...but am I wrong to ask for real proof that this girl is out of his life forever? I told him I could never speak to him again if this ever reoccurred, and I dont want to keep bringing it up or be paranoid, but now that we dont live together anymore I'm always wondering who he's with whenever I dont see him. I never had any doubts of his fidelity when we were together, but now this has pushed me over the edge - What should I do???

[bluechocolate]

If he has no self control over hopping into bed with other women when he's supposed to be rebuilding your relationship then dump him again - for the last time.

[Princessjesabell]

Stay away!

Im in the same boat only I havent left are humble home, Im being stupid dont do this. At this point as sad as it sounds Im looking for reasons to leave but I dont have facts only assumptions. You are never going to forget what you saw and the feelings you felt when you saw it. I know you love him, But there is no excuse he knew what he was doing when he did it, Did this happen at the house you live in together? IN YOUR BED?????? oh god I hope not dont worry dear its going to hurt I promise, but I also promise that it will pass, we'll get through it together... Im in the same boat!

[confusedgirl1]

Hi, thanks for your response, I really appreciate it. To clarify, no, it wasn't in exactly in OUR bed, it was in our former bed, we haven't lived together since we originally broke up. I've still been seeing him almost every day since this "incident" though, he seems to be acting pretty attentive lately, we had a really good conversation after the fact and I hope to god its really over with this girl. It's just difficult because he doesn't seem to ever want me to go to his house, he always comes over to mine. Not that I ever really want to sleep in that bed again, now that I think about it. I'm getting counceling for this, possibly going on medication to handle things, so I am trying to do the right thing for myself but it seems impossible for me to break all ties with him. We've been together for so long, we have such a history together and we still get along really well and have fun when we spend time together, so it's easy for me to forget what happened when he's around. It's just when we're not together that sucks. I dont want to become clingy but this is so hard for me to handle and I'm so the type of person that will analyze everything to death, why didn't he call right back, he didn't say I love you when we ended our phone conversation, etc...do you think I should ask to speak to this girl?? How can I get over this? I dont know how to stop worrying.

 

So, you still live with this guy after he cheated? What happened? Love to hear your story - thanks!

[Princessjesabell]

I ended up taking my own advice, now were really in the same boat, I Left this weekend and Im crushed, I feel like my entire world is crumbling and I am so to the point of wanting to ignore what I know, just because I think he may change, when were together its like old times Im happy when were away Im miserable all I thin about his him. I cant be much help, I dont know what to do myself.