I feel sick.

[Gentlegirl]

xMM has popped up on my dating website!

 

He has viewed my profile everyday for a week.. hasn't attempted to contact, just viewed.

 

I feel violated and that he has chosen to break NC.

 

I don't want to leave the site because I have lots of social contacts there including some ladies have met.

 

Feel like I am being stalked

 

Gentlegirl

[whichwayisup]

Viewing is one thing, (how do you know he's viewed you though?) (can you block him?) contact is another. In some sense he isn't breaking NC, it's like when people on here do NC yet they still do the stalking thing on FB.

 

You can only control yourself not him, so if he feels the need to peep at you online there's not much you can do about that since you don't want to leave.

 

Try not to let this upset you! Stay strong Gentle!

[Gentlegirl]

I'm notified everytime somebody views me. I got a huge jolt when I found the notification.

 

I have investigated the blocking process and unless somebody contacts I can't see how it can be done.

 

YOu are right... nothing I can do about him.

 

There is no desire on my part to contact him. I hate that he is looking at me.

 

Just want him to GO AWAY ..... FOREVER.

 

Have a great weekend and thank you,

 

Gentlegirl.

[fooled once]

I agree with WWIU.

 

You aren't breaking NC. You are living life. Keep your chin up.

 

I hope he stops soon. I bet it is eery to see that he stalks your profile. Hope you can block him somehow!

[donnamaybe]

It's a public website and if anyone is allowed to look at profiles then so is he.

 

If you don't like it take your profile down and stop playing the victim.

 

Wow. How rude and unhelpful.

 

OP, you will be fine. Just keep your chin up and your focus where it should be - on you and your well being.

[Gentlegirl]

Wow. How rude and unhelpful.

 

OP, you will be fine. Just keep your chin up and your focus where it should be - on you and your well being.

 

 

Never mind, guess it was having a bad hair day!

 

Genltegirl.

[Emme]

You make the choice as to who can view your profile. You have to make the choice as to whether he is in your friends contact and has access. You! If you choose not to have him in your life then you walk pass him as though he's a stranger and don't look back. You don't linger stare or wonder ... you walk by and don't turn to look back. So get busy on your contact settings.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Wow. How rude and unhelpful.

 

 

 

I know. Evidently the tedious hydra has sprouted yet another head. They all spew the same drek, though.

[Gentlegirl]

I just smile to myself about the Medusa. or the Hydra as you say.

 

Is it a crystal ball or divine omnisience???

 

My goodness it knows more about me than I do ! How can that be?

 

Gentlegirl

[TurboGirl]

That's right, she could easily block him if she didn't want him viewing her profile, couldn't she?

 

So what she really wants is his continued attention while claiming otherwise.

 

No wonder she "feels sick."

 

She is.

 

And with unhelpful people like donna maybe casting false assertions to shine her on, she won't get any better.

 

Why not take your evil mean self somewhere else?

 

Oh, I bet you are getting your kicks being nasty. Your comments are unhelpful and flat out RUDE.

 

GG,

 

understand how you are feeling, and most of us, with a few rude exceptions, are here to support you. You are not "playing the victim" just expressing what is happening in your life. That is why we're here.

Expressing what is happening in life is how we heal and move on.

 

Block him, I'm sure there is a way you can do it. Understand how sick that makes you feel.

[spice4life]

Gentilgirl, you are not being a victim at all!. Ignore the rude poster.

 

Go out and have some fun this weekend and keep your profile up "loud and proud"! Revel in the fact that he still has to seak around and you don't! Chin up.

[wannabdone]

FACT IS: SHE HAS EVERY RIGHT TO BE ON THE WEB SITE, AND SHE HAS EVERY RIGHT TO FEEL ANYWAY SHE WANTS TO FEEL.

 

I don't get people who seem to get on these things only to be hateful. GET A LIFE!!!!!

 

You know what, gentlegirl, I know what you mean. But look at it this way, you are in powerful one. You have estabilished NC and he is struggling. You are doing great.

 

If you can find a way to block him, if you want, do it. You have the control here!!!

 

YOU ARE DOING GREAT!!!!!

[mzdolphin]

Wow. How rude and unhelpful.

 

OP, you will be fine. Just keep your chin up and your focus where it should be - on you and your well being.

 

 

I agree. You did nothing wrong. Live your life. Understand there will be bad days, bouts with anger, sadness. Just keep looking forward and congratulate yourself on moving forward.

[Woman In Blue]

That's right, she could easily block him if she didn't want him viewing her profile, couldn't she?

 

So what she really wants is his continued attention while claiming otherwise.

 

No wonder she "feels sick."

 

She is.

 

And with unhelpful people like donna maybe casting false assertions to shine her on, she won't get any better.

Ahhhh, the Bitter Brigade makes it to yet another thread to sh*t all over it. My, my, we're SO opinionated but really have NO CLUE how some dating sites work, do we? Here's a little 4-1-1 for ya - you CAN'T block someone on some of these sites UNLESS they contact you or you contact THEM.

 

Where did this douche nozzle come from, anyway? Is he some kind of reincarnation of a banned poster? What a charming entity.

[Gentlegirl]

Ahhhh, the Bitter Brigade makes it to yet another thread to sh*t all over it. My, my, we're SO opinionated but really have NO CLUE how some dating sites work, do we? Here's a little 4-1-1 for ya - you CAN'T block someone on some of these sites UNLESS they contact you or you contact THEM.

 

Where did this douche nozzle come from, anyway? Is he some kind of reincarnation of a banned poster? What a charming entity.

 

That's exactly what happens on my website... not contact, can't block. It's not FACEBOOk where you get to choose your friends.

 

Can one block posters who **** all over people here? No?'.....Pity!

 

Anyway, I'm staying on the website! I'm over feeling spooked now.

 

Hope most of you have a great week,

 

Gentlegirl

[wannabdone]

 

Can one block posters who **** all over people here? No?'.....Pity!

 

 

 

 

It is a PITY!!! But what is even more so a pity is that there are people out there like that. Who apparently have zero to little soul.

 

I would be very cautious to people like that, who think its funny to post so upsurb things on threads. There are many people who come on these things who are extremely depressed, and probably have thought of hurting themselves. They seek these forums as a last hope. For some kind of support from somewhere. And then you have jack asses like that who are bitter and hateful and spew crap all over. What if that was the one thing that sent that person over the edge. Ya know????

Maybe something old poster whoever needs to think about.

 

Any way gentle girl.... I'm glad you are over it. And you did the RIGHT THING, coming on here and posting your feelings instead of acting on them. Who knows, he might have done that or is doing it to get you to contact him. And you were wise, and took the time to figure it out and didn't act on it, whether it was acting on anger or whatever. You know, sometimes these ppl can be like child....any attention, is attention.

 

I am very proud of you, and how you are handling things. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK SISTER. YOUR DOING AWESOME!!!!

 

POWER TO YOU!!!!!

[fooled once]

That's exactly what happens on my website... not contact, can't block. It's not FACEBOOk where you get to choose your friends.

 

Can one block posters who **** all over people here? No?'.....Pity!

 

Anyway, I'm staying on the website! I'm over feeling spooked now.

 

Hope most of you have a great week,

 

Gentlegirl

 

You can put the person on ignore and you can report posts which are against guidelines

[wannabdone]

You can put the person on ignore and you can report posts which are against guidelines

 

Good to know FO!

thx!

 

I have been noticing a certain person isn't too caring in anyone's posts. So sad. Oh well, I guess we are all learning how to ignore negative, hurtful ppl....aren't we????

[jwi71]

xMM has popped up on my dating website!

 

He has viewed my profile everyday for a week.. hasn't attempted to contact, just viewed.

 

I feel violated and that he has chosen to break NC.

 

I don't want to leave the site because I have lots of social contacts there including some ladies have met.

 

Feel like I am being stalked

 

Gentlegirl

 

You'll have to forgive me GG as I can't recall this detail: was there ever a D-day?

 

In short, does his W know of his philandering ways?

 

I don't think you are being stalked though - just sounds, to me, like he was on the search for another OW and stumbled across you.

 

Please remember this is about him, not you. I know this bothers you but stop. Don't give him that power. Don't allow him to continue to control/affect your life. Don't say he's not - witness this thread.

 

If he contacts you via that site - block him w/o a reply. Then keep on living.

 

In time, you'll naturally develop apathy - and it won't be a bother at all. I know the frustration...it took me YEARS to get over my xWW - now, nothing she says or does bothers me. Its kinda sad actually. You WILL get there.

[Gentlegirl]

You'll have to forgive me GG as I can't recall this detail: was there ever a D-day?

 

In short, does his W know of his philandering ways?

 

I don't think you are being stalked though - just sounds, to me, like he was on the search for another OW and stumbled across you.

 

Please remember this is about him, not you. I know this bothers you but stop. Don't give him that power. Don't allow him to continue to control/affect your life. Don't say he's not - witness this thread.

 

If he contacts you via that site - block him w/o a reply. Then keep on living.

 

In time, you'll naturally develop apathy - and it won't be a bother at all. I know the frustration...it took me YEARS to get over my xWW - now, nothing she says or does bothers me. Its kinda sad actually. You WILL get there.

 

I believe there was a kind of a Dday. He made a very long phone call to me last Chritmas Eve. His W had been trying to contact him and left 12 missed calls on his mobile. He only discovered them when he got home.

I only have a vague idea about what ensued . Last I heard he was trying to tell her that soomebody in his walking group had a crush on him and wouldn't stop calling. That was almost 9 months ago.

 

Guess the W has taken him back because he is still crawling around a dating website. I would say he's an old hand at the game. He has probably done it before. The W was financially depenedent on him.. their situation was not affluent. He probably has total power in the relationship.

 

I don't think he set out to stalk me, but the persistent viewing smacks of it to me. To stumble on somebody is one thing... to continue is another.

He's testing the waters to see if he can make me contact him. I understand that now he has seen me on the site, he is trying out his power over me.

 

I have no desire to contact him at all. That is a positive thing. A while ago I might have.

 

Thank you for your gentle words of encouragement. I understand it will take a long time. I am getting out , doing lots of different things and making new contacts.

 

Little by little....Looking back at myself this time last year, I can see a vast difference in my total life and for the better.

 

Gentlegirl.

[Gentlegirl]

You can put the person on ignore and you can report posts which are against guidelines

 

 

I will have to explore that possibility.

 

Gentlegirl

[Gentlegirl]

It is a PITY!!! But what is even more so a pity is that there are people out there like that. Who apparently have zero to little soul.

 

I would be very cautious to people like that, who think its funny to post so upsurb things on threads. There are many people who come on these things who are extremely depressed, and probably have thought of hurting themselves. They seek these forums as a last hope. For some kind of support from somewhere. And then you have jack asses like that who are bitter and hateful and spew crap all over. What if that was the one thing that sent that person over the edge. Ya know????

Maybe something old poster whoever needs to think about.

 

Any way gentle girl.... I'm glad you are over it. And you did the RIGHT THING, coming on here and posting your feelings instead of acting on them. Who knows, he might have done that or is doing it to get you to contact him. And you were wise, and took the time to figure it out and didn't act on it, whether it was acting on anger or whatever. You know, sometimes these ppl can be like child....any attention, is attention.

 

I am very proud of you, and how you are handling things. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK SISTER. YOUR DOING AWESOME!!!!

 

POWER TO YOU!!!!!

 

Thanks for your support! I really appreciate it.

 

You are quite right. When I came on LS , I was frantic. I had nowhere else in my life I could safely go and speak about the A. it had just enede and I couldn't get my head around any of it.

 

Friends and family were quite out of the question. They had no idea.

 

There was secrecy and shame about the A that prevented me from speaking to anybody in my personal life.

 

If I had been less stable than I am and gotten some toxic spiteful reply... who knows what the consequences might have been?

 

Fortunately, I was mostly recieved with open arms and understanding.

 

Cheers,

Gentlegirl

[RainDown]

Email his profile to his wife. That'll probably stop him.

 

Sorry, I couldn't resist. Don't do that. Just continue to take the high road and ignore it. I know it's got to be irritating to have him intrude on "your place", but you can't really stop him from doing that. Ignore, ignore, ignore.

 

Hang in there. It gets better.

[wannabdone]

GG.... I haven't heard from you today. Wanted to check on my aussie friend.