Sugarkane Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 Like my ex who can't be single for more than 5 minutes. Just because they're the dumper what difference does it make? Link to post Share on other sites
silly_panda Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 Well... I would say nobody care about the dumper's action... If the dumper has some REAL friend, they will 'slap' him/her in the face and ask them to wake up... Just like my friend did to my other friend and she really did wake up... Link to post Share on other sites
Buttercup84 Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 Yeah I think that even if they are no longer in love , how can so many relationships mean something ? You have to be lucky to find at least one meaningful relationship , so how can so many be of any value ? I wad single till I was 25 when I met my ex . I only got with him because it felt so different to other dates . Just thinking of being with someone else makes me sick . Link to post Share on other sites
Arikel Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 I don't know. My ex claims he has a lot of good friends but no one seems to tell him to stop f'ing around and stay with someone who makes him happy... But then again... Maybe his friends are all the same too? Link to post Share on other sites
antinko Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 Quite simply because our perspective is wildly different to theirs. And even if they did see the sense behind what you were saying, they're often so insecure that they wouldn't have the personal strength to stop jumping. So basically, that's why it's best to just focus on yourself and let them go. You won't change them; only they can do that for themselves if they want to. And they often don't want to. A lot of these people claim that they're looking for the 'perfect relationship' or 'person', but they refuse to acknowledge that lasting relationships require effort or they're not being truthful and in actual fact don't want a meaningful relationship. It's far easier for some people to be 'in love' with the illusion of love rather than actually enter into true love. Link to post Share on other sites
Buttercup84 Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 Quite simply because our perspective is wildly different to theirs. And even if they did see the sense behind what you were saying, they're often so insecure that they wouldn't have the personal strength to stop jumping. So basically, that's why it's best to just focus on yourself and let them go. You won't change them; only they can do that for themselves if they want to. And they often don't want to. A lot of these people claim that they're looking for the 'perfect relationship' or 'person', but they refuse to acknowledge that lasting relationships require effort or they're not being truthful and in actual fact don't want a meaningful relationship. It's far easier for some people to be 'in love' with the illusion of love rather than actually enter into true love. That describes my ex . He just didn't seem to realize that relationships take work and are not always perfect . Link to post Share on other sites
antinko Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 That describes my ex . He just didn't seem to realize that relationships take work and are not always perfect . Ditto with mine and when we had to work on our relationship, my ex just decided to throw blame around instead...then jump. But that's in the past now. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 Why does no one say anything to dumpers who jump from relationship to relationship? Silence is a sandwich best served cold. Link to post Share on other sites
visualbasicide Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 Well... I would say nobody care about the dumper's action... If the dumper has some REAL friend, they will 'slap' him/her in the face and ask them to wake up... Just like my friend did to my other friend and she really did wake up... I couldn't say it better myself. Because those same people care more about how their relationship with their friend is than they actually do about their friend. They are just as selfish and are not really friends at all, the good feelings they get from maintaining that relationship are more than the well being of the person. In my view they are guilty by association and no better than the one jumping from person to person. I lost All but maybe two or three friends out of 100 when I realized this tidbit. When they care about the status quo more than the people that make it possible its really just using the person and it sickens me. Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 Quite simply because our perspective is wildly different to theirs. And even if they did see the sense behind what you were saying, they're often so insecure that they wouldn't have the personal strength to stop jumping. So basically, that's why it's best to just focus on yourself and let them go. You won't change them; only they can do that for themselves if they want to. And they often don't want to. A lot of these people claim that they're looking for the 'perfect relationship' or 'person', but they refuse to acknowledge that lasting relationships require effort or they're not being truthful and in actual fact don't want a meaningful relationship. It's far easier for some people to be 'in love' with the illusion of love rather than actually enter into true love. this is my ex too Link to post Share on other sites
antinko Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 this is my ex too In which case, they're not worth the hassle. Link to post Share on other sites
Wesker Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 In the case with my ex, her social life outside of work is pretty pathetic. So she HAS to be with someone(her whole dating life including me involves only co-workers). I don't think she's ever been single for more than a month. Obviously people who jump from person to person will never be truly happy in the end because they never come to grips with their faults/flaws. I think that's why all the dumpees, including me, no matter how hurt we get at first wind up way better in the long run because we actually take time to reflect, and learn from past mistakes. We actually grow into better people so when the next person comes along, they'll be way better than our ex. At least that's what I keep telling myself. Link to post Share on other sites
dumpedandsore Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 In the case with my ex, her social life outside of work is pretty pathetic. So she HAS to be with someone(her whole dating life including me involves only co-workers). I don't think she's ever been single for more than a month. Obviously people who jump from person to person will never be truly happy in the end because they never come to grips with their faults/flaws. I think that's why all the dumpees, including me, no matter how hurt we get at first wind up way better in the long run because we actually take time to reflect, and learn from past mistakes. We actually grow into better people so when the next person comes along, they'll be way better than our ex. At least that's what I keep telling myself. they are just plain selfish Link to post Share on other sites
visualbasicide Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 good post wesker, though your name makes me want to go play resident evil now Link to post Share on other sites
visualbasicide Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 6. Hurt People, hurt people. wow, I have heard lots of things on lot's of subjects and I have never heard this before and I like it. I feel a tattoo coming on. Link to post Share on other sites
visualbasicide Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 I couldn't agree with you more wholeheartedly, might check out our other discussion over here, it kind of ties into this whole conversation. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t295642/?goto=newpost Link to post Share on other sites
dicky_fish Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 Some people just won't listen either. Back in March I had a friend who was single for the first time in 12 years after jumping from partner to partner and tried to tell her that this was her time just to be free and single, to understand who she is etc. Didn't listen and before I knew it she got with a guy one night and was asking me about how easy it was for me and my girlfriend when we we long distance. She'd known the guy for 2 days! Link to post Share on other sites
visualbasicide Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 kudos to you for trying, I have seen many many people that won't. Wish there we're more people with your fortitude in the world. Link to post Share on other sites
reimeivn Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 well relationship and sexual preferences are kind of private. so i wouldnt be surprised if nobody tells him to stop sleeping around and that kind of stuffs. Link to post Share on other sites
reimeivn Posted September 4, 2011 Share Posted September 4, 2011 "Dating / Relationships is not a marriage or lifetime commitment. It is just for fun or to find out the answer to a question. The question, is this the person I want to spend the rest of my life with?" This is right. This save me a lot of heartaches. Whenever I feel really sad, I sit down and ask myself, is this the person I want to spend the rest of my life with? I dont think so. The ex did not love me, yes, but even if he did still, it is never the love that can hold people together and build a life together. After a while, I realized that he was still in the teenagers stage while I am already dealing with real life... I know it is not gonna work out in the end anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted September 5, 2011 Author Share Posted September 5, 2011 . These people, shockingly seemed surprised when they knowingly enter into a relationship with someone that is "unhealthy" and get screwed over and hurt. These people are beyond my understanding or my help. QUOTE] No **** Homebrew. If I knew what my ex was really like, do you think I would be stupid enough to keep seeing him? Believe it or not some people are really liars. It annoys the hell out of me that you think this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted September 5, 2011 Author Share Posted September 5, 2011 No one ever told me that my ex dumps people by text. Plus he was friends with exes. So Homebrew how do you know if someone is genuine or not? It can be pretty bloody difficult to tell. Some people like my ex are experts at it. Link to post Share on other sites
LelouchIsZero Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 No need to get aggressive Sugarkane, I know his post might have unintentionally hurt you, but still. Homebrew, I agree with "Hurt People, hurt people", though only to some extent. It all really depends on the person as, people who've been hurt can either turn said feelings into something that makes them stronger (as they wouldn't want someone else to feel what they have felt) or they can take the other obvious route. Link to post Share on other sites
visualbasicide Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 I really am not sure what the answer to that is. Maybe all you can really do is get to know someone well enough that any inconsistencies bewtween what they say and what they do show up before you become to emotionally involved with them. Then again maybe sometimes it's just unavoidable. Do people change all of a sudden or all we all just who we are. I have seen it go both ways so I really am not sure of the answer. Link to post Share on other sites
LelouchIsZero Posted September 5, 2011 Share Posted September 5, 2011 Yes, but that doesn't discredit the fact that they were originally hurt & could have managed to deal with the problems they faced, without hurting others. I'm not saying you're wrong, all I'm saying is that it is possible for people who are "hurt", to go through things without hurting another. The chance of them doing so may be slim, but its still possible. I don't really like the idea of things when people say "I deserve the best", as people only deserve what they're entitled to. If you're genuinely a nice person, then of course, you too deserve someone like that. I deserve somebody, who deserves me. Link to post Share on other sites
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