What do I do?

[dicky_fish]

She broke up with me nearly 4 months ago a week after asking me to move in with her, everything I've ever hoped and dreamed about was taken from me, and all those plans I had with her are gone. Feel totally deserted by all my friends, I call and they never answer or if they do they feed me all the cliche bullsh*t and quickly round up our conversation. And to cap it all off I've just been made redundant with very little in future job prospects. I'm afraid and alone, and the one thing keeping me from ending it all is knowing how much hurt I'd cause my family. In a world where I no longer have any idea who or what I am, where the only thing keeping me alive is knowing I'm too gutless to finish it. What do I do?

[dicky_fish]

Anyone?

 

Having the roughest week of the lot right now and no one will talk to me about it. All I've heard is "chin up" "things happen for a reason" and every other cliched catch phrase that goes with this.

 

My life isn't worth spit, and feel and end to everything would be welcome, but I know I could never do that to my loved ones. So what is there? Existing

[lovesickmonkey]

This is definitely the place to go when you feel the way you're feeling now. It was four months ago for me too. I think we have to realize that if this woman leaving you meant the end of all your hopes, dreams, and plans, you are forgetting your own contribution to the picture. When mine left me I felt the same way you did ... and I'm struggling with the same feeling. As I've said before, when she left it was as though my full glass of water was turned over and completely drained ... there was nothing left. Four months later and it still often feels that way ... everything that I was is now gone since she left. And I looked around for other women to date and saw no one that would remotely make me feel the way she did. So I'm now realizing that I must begin to create a new me. I have to learn to love myself, to feel attractive, confident, worthwhile, etc. I used to laugh at people who talked nonsense like this but now it makes sense to me. You can't rely on someone to complete you. You need to be complete on your own. I think this is what you need to seek. And if your sadness begins turning to real depression, which it sounds like it might be, you need medical assistance. I've been on antidepressants for years and know very well how they work and how important they are to me. I have been slipping into clinical depression fairly often in the last four months and when it gets bad, increasing the dose works. The book, Getting Past Your Breakup really helped me and its a good starting point.

[Nohbody]

Hi dickyfish, sorry I am not up on your story - so I will ask if you've seen a counselor or talked with a mental health professional? Can you get some kind of career planning or advice through your work or through a public program (or programme as you UKish folk so charmingly put it?)

 

It might seem like you have nothing to lose, but in your message you attest to a loving family. That's more than some have got. I'm not going to tell you chin up, but I am going to tell you that it's time to start looking for opportunities. You may lose your job, oh well. No one loves you, ok - not true.

 

Your suffering is very real and very important. What use is it? Find a use for your suffering, find a meaning in your life. Something larger than yourself, and commit to it. Join the bloody military if you liked to play with tin soldiers when you were little.

 

Wei Ji is the Chinese word for Crisis. It's also the word for Opportunity. Look for the opportunities and take them. You have little to lose, so think how lucky you are! Freedom to decide for yourself who you are and who you will become. That's more than most are willing to take on - and you may not have a choice. Awesome.