Buttercups Coping Journal

[Buttercup84]

Urgh. So it has been almost three months. I have lost count. Last weekend I was actually feeling Ok and did not have the urge to contact him.

 

But then he contacted me because of our stupid lease form.It just started everything again. It hurt seeing the form with his signature and knowing that this really is it.

 

We have been emailing eachother a bit and he was nice.Just saying he is sorry and that if I find someone else he will be very upset and feels ill thinking about it. Well if you feel sick about it buddy , don't dump me ! if he never dumped me I would have never been with anyone else.

 

 

I went on a hens night this weekend and had to drag myself out. I got dressed up and did have an Ok time.tried flirting with topless waiters ( I know ) but felt ****. I just wanted to sms him and tell him I was having fun and can't wait to get home to him.

 

A old fling of mine asked me out for dinner and while I said yes as I am just going as a friend , I feel more depressed because in a stupid way I feel like I am betraying my ex.

 

I just can't see myself dating anyone else.It makes me sick to think about it.He says I am gorgeous , smart and funny , yet he left me.

 

 

I am doing Uni , Tafe , joining a gym , meeting friends and will do some more classes next year.

 

But nothing seems to help.I just can't imagine ever being with anyone else again.

[katie.x]

We have been emailing eachother a bit and he was nice.Just saying he is sorry and that if I find someone else he will be very upset and feels ill thinking about it. Well if you feel sick about it buddy , don't dump me ! if he never dumped me I would have never been with anyone else.

 

Is this guy with someone? I can understand a apology but saying that he feels sick about the thought of you with someone else is a little harsh on you. Sounds like he's guilting you or, if he's with someone, keeping you on the side lines.

 

I went on a hens night this weekend and had to drag myself out. I got dressed up and did have an Ok time.tried flirting with topless waiters ( I know ) but felt ****. I just wanted to sms him and tell him I was having fun and can't wait to get home to him.

 

I am getting better at this. I actually took a few weeks off from going out, just because I didn't want to be a downer. Plus when i was drunk it'd get upset. I had two birthdays since my ex got with someone and both times felt sad and like he should be there with me. Then I went out with friends on saturday night, drinking as well, and totally forgot about him, and I was out with people I met through him. It does get better hun, hang in there.

 

A old fling of mine asked me out for dinner and while I said yes as I am just going as a friend , I feel more depressed because in a stupid way I feel like I am betraying my ex.

 

I just can't see myself dating anyone else.It makes me sick to think about it.He says I am gorgeous , smart and funny , yet he left me.

 

I think you need to stop thinking of how your ex sees you and how what you do affects him. You do what makes YOU happy and has nothing to do with your ex. You are not betraying anyone, you are single, dating or just dinner as friends is what you are meant to do.

 

I am doing Uni , Tafe , joining a gym , meeting friends and will do some more classes next year.

 

But nothing seems to help.I just can't imagine ever being with anyone else again.

Filing your time is a very good idea. Exercise is also a big plus as it helps moves your mind off your ex and makes you internally healthier all round.

I think you need to stop thinking that you won't find someone like your ex or that he was the one. You need to just move on with yourself. Only time with help you hun, try and see the positives as much as you can, i know it's hard but what is the point in being sad when it doesn't make you feel good.

[Buttercup84]

For some reason I am getting worse and I do not know why. I kept NC but felt like I was getting sadder.

 

He emailed me last weekend or so about some mail that I got.Even though I asked him to just ignore mail as I will change my address. I just forgot to change it for my course and they sent a letter about my fees and my ex said it looked important so he scanned them for me.

 

He asked me to let him know that I got the email , so I said thanks.He then said he was worried about me. I said do not worry , I should have stopped there but a few hours later I emailed him saying I miss him so much. No answer since of course.

 

But I was feeling **** before that even happened. I ran out of AD's so maybe this is it. I will go to my GP on Saturday and get more tablets.

 

I cried so much last night and tonight.Had such an intense dream a few nights ago and woke up numb and a wreck. I am just anxious , angry and frustrated.

 

I can't concentrate on my essay and am stuffing my face with junk food and avoiding the gym.Maybe me not going to the gym is also affecting my mood.

 

I just keep thinking of him with someone else and bein so happy. I miss him so damn much.

 

I am on the waitin list for counselling so I hope I get an apointment soon.

[solobeary]

Hey buttercup,

 

I'm not sure if this is what you've signed up for, but it's possible to get free counselling from supervised counselling students who are still studying

http://sydney.gumtree.com.au/c-Community-other-community-Confidential-Counselling-free-of-charge-W0QQAdIdZ300890998

 

I haven't been myself and sorry if it's dodgy, but might be worth checking out to get some counselling ASAP before your appointment comes through.

 

Also, has you doc talked to you about seeing a psychologist? You sound so sad, and it may be worth seeing a psych for CBT if it is/ is turning into depression (though fingers crossed you'll be feeling better soon). You can claim the cost on medicare, though not many bulk bill so there's usually a gap. beyondblue.org.au has a listing of Sydney psychs.

 

 

 

You sound like a lovely, caring person, your ex didn't treat you like you deserve. Things will get better, we're here at loveshack if you need anything

[Buttercup84]

Hey buttercup,

 

I'm not sure if this is what you've signed up for, but it's possible to get free counselling from supervised counselling students who are still studying

http://sydney.gumtree.com.au/c-Community-other-community-Confidential-Counselling-free-of-charge-W0QQAdIdZ300890998

 

I haven't been myself and sorry if it's dodgy, but might be worth checking out to get some counselling ASAP before your appointment comes through.

 

Also, has you doc talked to you about seeing a psychologist? You sound so sad, and it may be worth seeing a psych for CBT if it is/ is turning into depression (though fingers crossed you'll be feeling better soon). You can claim the cost on medicare, though not many bulk bill so there's usually a gap. beyondblue.org.au has a listing of Sydney psychs.

 

 

 

You sound like a lovely, caring person, your ex didn't treat you like you deserve. Things will get better, we're here at loveshack if you need anything

 

 

Thank you so much I will have a look ! x

[Buttercup84]

Is this guy with someone? I can understand a apology but saying that he feels sick about the thought of you with someone else is a little harsh on you. Sounds like he's guilting you or, if he's with someone, keeping you on the side lines.

 

 

 

I am getting better at this. I actually took a few weeks off from going out, just because I didn't want to be a downer. Plus when i was drunk it'd get upset. I had two birthdays since my ex got with someone and both times felt sad and like he should be there with me. Then I went out with friends on saturday night, drinking as well, and totally forgot about him, and I was out with people I met through him. It does get better hun, hang in there.

 

 

 

I think you need to stop thinking of how your ex sees you and how what you do affects him. You do what makes YOU happy and has nothing to do with your ex. You are not betraying anyone, you are single, dating or just dinner as friends is what you are meant to do.

 

 

Filing your time is a very good idea. Exercise is also a big plus as it helps moves your mind off your ex and makes you internally healthier all round.

I think you need to stop thinking that you won't find someone like your ex or that he was the one. You need to just move on with yourself. Only time with help you hun, try and see the positives as much as you can, i know it's hard but what is the point in being sad when it doesn't make you feel good.

 

Thank you , that helped x

[Buttercup84]

For some reason I am not getting better . I keep thinking how it is all my fault and that I am so messed up and a pyscho .

 

I am such a mess . I miss him so much and want him back , I want us to have a happy life and get married like he wanted to at the beginning.

 

It kills knowing he will marry someone else one day . I am on anti depressants , meeting friends , going to the gym , taking up new hobbies and will go to therapy soon .

 

In November it would have been two years since we met .This weather is reminding me of him , how we would just be passionate and kiss for ages and just talk on the sofa and be happy in love. And now he might be with someone else . I miss him .

[broken-and-lost]

Hey Buttercup

 

You sound a lot like how i was feeling / feel at times i'm a year out now but it's very difficult to let go when you blame yourself.

 

I still blame myself which is what i think is the problem, try to forgive what ever it is you think you did wrong everybody makes mistakes, it's terrible to have your hopes and dreams snatched away buy the person you thought you were sharing them with, like everyone says you have to keep trying to focus on you it's very hard i know.

 

Keep posting we are all here to support you !

[Thieves]

It kills knowing he will marry someone else one day . I am on anti depressants , meeting friends , going to the gym , taking up new hobbies and will go to therapy soon .

 

I know how you feel on this, Buttercup. I really do. I even wrote a post in my own journal about it after seeing yours. It used to tear me to pieces thinking that we wouldn't be in each other's lives in any kind of permanent sense. It's almost inevitable. It's gotten a lot better, but it's still weird and stings a little to think of it sometimes. But, honey, you have to stop being so hard on yourself. I know everything may seem sh*tty right now and like it's never-ending, but I promise you that things eventually do come around. This December it would've been three years since we met, and it does make me a little weary... I can't believe it's been that long. I never thought I'd be where I am now (emotionally) a few months ago. But I am, and I'm still getting there little by little. It feels nice to finally be in a place like this, a place where pain isn't always the dominating emotion every day. You just really have to give it time, so keep holding on, okay?

 

I also think it's good that you're going to therapy soon, as I'm sure that will really help you along in your healing. You're not a "psycho" either, you're just in pain and missing someone you cared about so much. There's nothing wrong with that because you're only human, Buttercup, we all are... and you can't always help how you feel. But you can help how you act on it and how you choose deal with it.

Edited October 24, 2011 by Thieves

[davesterr]

The reason you feel this way is because you refuse to let go.

You still want to be with him and you still hope for the best.

Even though you know it wont happen you still refuse to let go.

 

I know this is hard and ive been struggling with it everyday since my ex broke up with me.

But you have to realise the truth.

Forget all that he says.

If he realy worries about you and the thought of u being with someone else then he shouldn't have dumped you in the first place.

Whatever his reasons are for saying that , whether he just likes his ego boost by hearing you say he is everything you want or whether its some other reason i dont know.

All i do know is that you should stop listening to him all together because he doesn't mean what he says.

 

The best way i can explain this to you is: if you really love him but you cant be with him then you should want him to live his own life being free to do anything he wants and free to be with anyone he chooses.

See when you only want him for yourself despite knowing thats not what he wants then thats not true love.

Because ultimate true love is wanting the other person to be happy even if that means letting the other person go while feeling the most hurt everyday.

 

I know this is hard and the more you love someone the more it hurts.

But it is the truth. you can't take into consideration how much u miss him or want him or do all the stuff with him.

He chose to break up and move on.

Now its time for you to let him move on.

 

The only way you can feel better is if you make a decission.

If you ever saw the movie Hitch , my all time favorite comedy

in one particular scene , Albert got dumped by his dream girl Allegra.

So hes completey broken eating a whole pizza hoping his heart will stop beating so it wont hurt as much.

Albert: I waited my whole life to feel this misserable.

If this is the only way i can stay connected with her then thats the way it wil have to be.

To which Hitch replies: No you can adjust , you can adept.

You can make it so that you will never feel this way for someone else ever again.

 

See this is what i struggled with for the longest time just like you.

I felt like , if this is the only way i can feel connected to my ex then that the way it will be.

But then a thought occured in my head and i started thinking:

 

Do i really want to feel this misserable , torn , hurt , crying everyday just feeling completely broken and not care about life or any reason to live anymore , while my ex will move on find a new boyfriend and end up having a great life with while never really caring about me anymore?

Is that really what i want my life to become because im so heartbroken over someone who in the end will never even really care about me?

 

When you realise your ex will move on if he hasn't already.

And you realise your ex will be with and sleep with other people.

When you realise your ex doesn't love you back anymore and wont get back together.

Then you gotta ask yourself. Do i really want to give up my entire life for that person?

 

See you have to want yourself to move on.

Simply sticking to nc wont do much besides making you think less of the person and giving you less false hope.

But nc alone does not heal the process.

It's up to you to find a different reason to live for.

To have seperate goals you want to achieve.

Go to the gym and have a clear goal.

Really work out and aim for daily results.

Take care of yourself and most of all , you gotta want to move on.

You gotta want to have a great life for yourself.

Because your ex is not gonna come back and if you dont do something now , then it will be so much harder to move on later.

Just picture it as gaining weight. (metaphor)

The longer you wait , the more fatty foods you eat , the more weight you gain.

The harder it is to lose all that weight after.

So dont let yourself get that far.

 

Once you realise the truth all you can do is just to accept that you will no longer be together and let him be free.

No matter how much this hurts you.

When you emotionally disconnect because you realise you wont be together anymore yet you want him to be happy.

Then you can start focussing on yourself by improving your life.

And i know this is really hard to do when you feel so sad but in the end you have to.

Remember: you can either give up your entire life and stay inside crying and feeling broken becuz u cant let go and yet want to feel connected to him even tho he doesn't care and sooner or later will be with someone else.

Or you can take your own fate in your own hands right now , decide you want to move on and no longer feel this way and actually make a change.

It will take extreme hard work and comitment but in the long run you will find yourself living a way better life than you are now.

Because at this moment anyting is better than feeling this way.

And who knows maybe when in some stage of your life you feel good again , then maybe you might date again when you feel ready and actually find someone you love and who loves you back.

Edited October 24, 2011 by davesterr

[Coupedriver]

Damn davesterr...!!! Can you be my NEW counselor..!?!?!?!? I had to re-read that several times and then bookmark it....!!!!!!!!

[Thieves]

Once you realise the truth all you can do is just to accept that you will no longer be together and let him be free.

No matter how much this hurts you.

When you emotionally disconnect because you realise you wont be together anymore yet you want him to be happy.

Then you can start focussing on yourself by improving your life.

 

I agree with everything Davesterr said, but especially this. Once you decide that you're tired of feeling hurt -- really tired beyond your limit -- then that is when you will begin truly moving on. And it's not actually when you literally say, "I am tired of thinking of him and obsessing over him" that you will begin to get better. No, I mean when you are dead tired, so tired and mentally exhausted of thinking of him and being hurt that it will almost feel like a hopeless feeling, like you're giving up at last, but trust me -- it's not giving up in a 'negative' way.

 

At this point, you won't even have to tell yourself that you're tired of obsessing over the break-up, because it will have already clicked in your mind, and you will slowly start moving on and naturally taking the steps toward healing. It happens very gradually as well, so you probably won't notice at first that you are starting to move on.

 

Once this happens, time will begin to pass as usual, but then another day will come along when you will somehow forget to think of him, or when you can't recall thinking of him much that day. Or the day before either, or the day before that... You find yourself enjoying the days more, and the nights aren't so terrible anymore. You start to actually cherish the time you have to yourself, and so on.

 

But again: all of this only happens once you truly make the decision that you are ready to move on, and when it finally clicks in your mind that your ex is not coming back and that you two will not be together again. Yes, all of us dumpees know way too well that this is a very scary thought that hurts more than we can imagine, more than hell itself, but it will click someday. And while you will be saddened (as is natural), you will know that it's the right thing to do, that it's time to really move on and start making a better life for yourself as your own person.

[Buttercup84]

Is this guy with someone? I can understand a apology but saying that he feels sick about the thought of you with someone else is a little harsh on you. Sounds like he's guilting you or, if he's with someone, keeping you on the side lines.

 

 

 

I am getting better at this. I actually took a few weeks off from going out, just because I didn't want to be a downer. Plus when i was drunk it'd get upset. I had two birthdays since my ex got with someone and both times felt sad and like he should be there with me. Then I went out with friends on saturday night, drinking as well, and totally forgot about him, and I was out with people I met through him. It does get better hun, hang in there.

 

 

 

I think you need to stop thinking of how your ex sees you and how what you do affects him. You do what makes YOU happy and has nothing to do with your ex. You are not betraying anyone, you are single, dating or just dinner as friends is what you are meant to do.

 

 

Filing your time is a very good idea. Exercise is also a big plus as it helps moves your mind off your ex and makes you internally healthier all round.

I think you need to stop thinking that you won't find someone like your ex or that he was the one. You need to just move on with yourself. Only time with help you hun, try and see the positives as much as you can, i know it's hard but what is the point in being sad when it doesn't make you feel good.

 

 

Thank you Katie , I need to get out of that mindset . Will stay away from dating for a while too .

[Buttercup84]

The reason you feel this way is because you refuse to let go.

You still want to be with him and you still hope for the best.

Even though you know it wont happen you still refuse to let go.

 

I know this is hard and ive been struggling with it everyday since my ex broke up with me.

But you have to realise the truth.

Forget all that he says.

If he realy worries about you and the thought of u being with someone else then he shouldn't have dumped you in the first place.

Whatever his reasons are for saying that , whether he just likes his ego boost by hearing you say he is everything you want or whether its some other reason i dont know.

All i do know is that you should stop listening to him all together because he doesn't mean what he says.

 

The best way i can explain this to you is: if you really love him but you cant be with him then you should want him to live his own life being free to do anything he wants and free to be with anyone he chooses.

See when you only want him for yourself despite knowing thats not what he wants then thats not true love.

Because ultimate true love is wanting the other person to be happy even if that means letting the other person go while feeling the most hurt everyday.

 

I know this is hard and the more you love someone the more it hurts.

But it is the truth. you can't take into consideration how much u miss him or want him or do all the stuff with him.

He chose to break up and move on.

Now its time for you to let him move on.

 

The only way you can feel better is if you make a decission.

If you ever saw the movie Hitch , my all time favorite comedy

in one particular scene , Albert got dumped by his dream girl Allegra.

So hes completey broken eating a whole pizza hoping his heart will stop beating so it wont hurt as much.

Albert: I waited my whole life to feel this misserable.

If this is the only way i can stay connected with her then thats the way it wil have to be.

To which Hitch replies: No you can adjust , you can adept.

You can make it so that you will never feel this way for someone else ever again.

 

See this is what i struggled with for the longest time just like you.

I felt like , if this is the only way i can feel connected to my ex then that the way it will be.

But then a thought occured in my head and i started thinking:

 

Do i really want to feel this misserable , torn , hurt , crying everyday just feeling completely broken and not care about life or any reason to live anymore , while my ex will move on find a new boyfriend and end up having a great life with while never really caring about me anymore?

Is that really what i want my life to become because im so heartbroken over someone who in the end will never even really care about me?

 

When you realise your ex will move on if he hasn't already.

And you realise your ex will be with and sleep with other people.

When you realise your ex doesn't love you back anymore and wont get back together.

Then you gotta ask yourself. Do i really want to give up my entire life for that person?

 

See you have to want yourself to move on.

Simply sticking to nc wont do much besides making you think less of the person and giving you less false hope.

But nc alone does not heal the process.

It's up to you to find a different reason to live for.

To have seperate goals you want to achieve.

Go to the gym and have a clear goal.

Really work out and aim for daily results.

Take care of yourself and most of all , you gotta want to move on.

You gotta want to have a great life for yourself.

Because your ex is not gonna come back and if you dont do something now , then it will be so much harder to move on later.

Just picture it as gaining weight. (metaphor)

The longer you wait , the more fatty foods you eat , the more weight you gain.

The harder it is to lose all that weight after.

So dont let yourself get that far.

 

Once you realise the truth all you can do is just to accept that you will no longer be together and let him be free.

No matter how much this hurts you.

When you emotionally disconnect because you realise you wont be together anymore yet you want him to be happy.

Then you can start focussing on yourself by improving your life.

And i know this is really hard to do when you feel so sad but in the end you have to.

Remember: you can either give up your entire life and stay inside crying and feeling broken becuz u cant let go and yet want to feel connected to him even tho he doesn't care and sooner or later will be with someone else.

Or you can take your own fate in your own hands right now , decide you want to move on and no longer feel this way and actually make a change.

It will take extreme hard work and comitment but in the long run you will find yourself living a way better life than you are now.

Because at this moment anyting is better than feeling this way.

And who knows maybe when in some stage of your life you feel good again , then maybe you might date again when you feel ready and actually find someone you love and who loves you back.

 

 

Thank you for that , it is true about me being sad is a way of still being conected to him . If I were to be happy I would not be conected anymore . Like he really is gone . But I have to accept that it has been over for him for a very long time and he will never come back . I like what you said about the weight gain , very good thank you !x

[Buttercup84]

The last few days have been Ok . On Thursday I met up with a friend who I have known for ten years . We met in a Yahoo chat room when we were teenagers , lost touch for a while and then met again through facebook . She lived in a different state , but she messaged me saying she moved to Sydney , just close to where I work .

 

So we met up and it was awesome , we had dinner and chatted for three hours non stop . I talked about my ex , we talked about everything together , deep meaningful conversations too . It felt so good and it is also great that I have a cool new friend living here .

 

I have been painting a lot too , I will also paint something during my holidays for the Kindergarten that I work at . It makes me happy . Downloaded " The power of now " and will get back to the gym next week ( they sent me an email wondering where I am haha )

 

Maybe my anti depressants are helping , but while I still miss him I am thinking more clearly . I really need to work on my self esteem though .

 

I had no hobbies while with my ex , I became so boring and well , bored . I just lived for him and stayed home .

 

Painting has given me confidence and also coming up with projects for the kids .

 

I also bought some nice baking tools such as a scale , messuring cup , a cupcake transporter etc . I know it is very nana-ish but with my nieces birthday coming up I thought I would give it a go . Also will do a cake for Halloween at work .

 

I never felt I was good at something or had " my " own thing and now I am finding it .

 

Weekends are usually my worst , so heres hoping that I will not become depressed again .

[Thieves]

The last few days have been Ok . On Thursday I met up with a friend who I have known for ten years . We met in a Yahoo chat room when we were teenagers , lost touch for a while and then met again through facebook . She lived in a different state , but she messaged me saying she moved to Sydney , just close to where I work .

 

So we met up and it was awesome , we had dinner and chatted for three hours non stop . I talked about my ex , we talked about everything together , deep meaningful conversations too . It felt so good and it is also great that I have a cool new friend living here .

 

I have been painting a lot too , I will also paint something during my holidays for the Kindergarten that I work at . It makes me happy . Downloaded " The power of now " and will get back to the gym next week ( they sent me an email wondering where I am haha )

 

Maybe my anti depressants are helping , but while I still miss him I am thinking more clearly . I really need to work on my self esteem though .

 

I had no hobbies while with my ex , I became so boring and well , bored . I just lived for him and stayed home .

 

Painting has given me confidence and also coming up with projects for the kids .

 

I also bought some nice baking tools such as a scale , messuring cup , a cupcake transporter etc . I know it is very nana-ish but with my nieces birthday coming up I thought I would give it a go . Also will do a cake for Halloween at work .

 

I never felt I was good at something or had " my " own thing and now I am finding it .

 

Weekends are usually my worst , so heres hoping that I will not become depressed again .

 

I am so happy for you, Buttercup, especially for the painting and the confidence you've found in it. It's great when you're going through such a hard time and finally find something that gives you solace, or when you find something to throw yourself into. That always makes the time pass a little bit easier, no?

 

I mean, now I know one of the mistakes I made before was basically throwing away my hobbies for 'him'. Can't believe I did that.

 

And baking is not nana-ish! Hell, I love baking. But baking for other people is a lot more fun, very true. Congrats on the new friend too. Never hurts to have another person to talk to..

[Buttercup84]

I am so happy for you, Buttercup, especially for the painting and the confidence you've found in it. It's great when you're going through such a hard time and finally find something that gives you solace, or when you find something to throw yourself into. That always makes the time pass a little bit easier, no?

 

I mean, now I know one of the mistakes I made before was basically throwing away my hobbies for 'him'. Can't believe I did that.

 

And baking is not nana-ish! Hell, I love baking. But baking for other people is a lot more fun, very true. Congrats on the new friend too. Never hurts to have another person to talk to..

 

Thank you so much Yeah , it is never a good sign when you stop doing things you love for someone else . Kind of like you're doing it to have more time for them because deep down you know they are slipping away .x

[Buttercup84]

So yesterday would have been our two year anniversary . I felt Ok , I thought I would have been a wreck but I was Ok . Of course I felt sad and was in a way hoping he would email me but he didn't .

 

I lost my contact lense so have to wear my glasses and feel gross and just want to stay inside . First world problem . I spent too much and still have another week until I get paid

 

I had my first session with my psyschologist today , it went alright and I will see her in two weeks time . I was worried as it was going to be expensive but because I am a student she didn't charge me . So that was good .

 

I went to a department store to buy a present for my niece and they were playing christmas songs . That got me all sad again , thinking my ex is likely out there with a new girlfriend making memories and being happy .

 

My boss also asked me if I wanted to housesit for her daughter this Summer ! just a week but she lives in a nice suburb close to the beach and she has a cat and a dog that I will look after . I will get paid a bit but I am looking forward to it .

 

Also decided to put my degree on hold as it was getting too much . I am going to just do my certificate then my diploma .

 

 

Before I met my ex I got talking to this guy from the UK over facebook . We started talking when we were debating over same sex marriage ( for ) and we flirted a lot , and I had a bit of a crush on him . Helps that he is cute too !

When I started getting serious with my ex we stopped flirting and just kept it normal .

 

I did often think about him , thinking we would have been more suited for eachother . I think because my ex was already controling back then and I saw signs I didn't like.

 

Of course you can't tell if you are right for eachother online , but it would be nice to meet someone like him here . Sigh .

[Buttercup84]

I had my second session with the pyschologist yesterday . She said I am having anxiety and my ex was abusive . I told her how I am still emotionally attached to him and how I miss him .

 

Even though I am not 100% at least I am getting help . I am just going to concentrate on myself right now and not look for love , it will happen when it is meant to be . I need my self confidence back , and without having my own life or confidence I will just have another bad relationship.

[sunflower11]

Hi buttercup! I am meeting with a psychologist once a week too and same thing! I have really bad anxiety but I think in my case..my ex is emotionally abusive. I read that when you give someone the silent treatment (in my case he even stopped anwering my calls 1 week before breaking up with me and further ignored everything) it is a form of emotional abuse.

 

I feel the same way you do...the last two relationships I had were maybe 3-4 months after a break up and I don't feel as if I was quite ready for them so I am giving myself time to work on my issues. No rush