Is it ok that my boy friend is jealous of my best female friend!!!?

[scoopy]

(first i should apologize for my bad english and long post in advance)

 

i have a female best friend. our friendship is more than 10 years old and we were always together

now my boy friend (we are dating for about 9 month) is jealous of her and say i always chose her over him!! and pay more attention to her!

 

my friend and i both know he doesn't like her so already our relation is much less than before. we barely speak to each other (3 times a month if that many) and in last 6 month we only saw each other 3 or 4 times and those where because she needs me for for example her thesis (to help her)

 

the problem began when i asked my boy friend to come with me and her for shopping(she needed a dress) he said she should come and pick me up and

return back which she didn't do because she said he can come himself and it's late night

 

then he saw a text in my phone that she said he is a little sarcastic. he got so much angry that made me ask her to apologize from him.

 

it was ok for a while till he saw an album about a trip with my ex boyfriend's friend (not even my ex) in her Facebook profile. the album was hidden for me but because she deactivated her account and turn back (or i don't know why ) the privacy setting was changed!

he got soo mad that told me i should delete her from my list

at first i resist then i told her that i will ignore her for a while

we had quarrel over this for a while and my boyfriend said why you first resist and blah blah

till her graduation party that we went and were like 2 statue, not speaking , dancing, not even walking! we sat in a place and watch others

 

my friend got so angry that told me i want to talk to him. i accept that

she told him "you are making her unhappy, you are getting all of her friends from her, that album was non of your business " and other things

 

he apologized and said it was my fault and blah blah

after that when i talked to her again he was furious that i said those things because of you and you are doing nothing! you act as nothing happened and talk to her like before!! she insulted me in every possible way! you should cut contact with her or make her apologize to me

i was shocked

and still am

and i don't know is it normal or not

 

i told him she is my friend and i don't want to choose between you two but i think she felt right and she didn't insult you

now our relationship is over because of that

and he said the only reason we are here is my best friend and that i chose her over him and if only i'd cut my relation with her for a month! everything'd be ok

 

i'm confused and i don't know what should i do or say

Edited September 5, 2011 by scoopy

[Sazerac]

I'm sorry to say but your boyfriend is extremely controlling and jealous. I'm not sure why you are putting up with this from him but there is no way I would ever let another person dictate to me with whom I could be friends--especially a friendship that had lasted a decade or more.

 

I don't think you'll be able to change him, and it's only going to get worse. If this is the way you wish to live your life, with someone else calling the shots on what you can do and with whom you can associate, then that is your choice. If it were me, I'd issue him an ultimatum--my friend stays, and you accept it or get lost.

[scoopy]

I'm sorry to say but your boyfriend is extremely controlling and jealous. I'm not sure why you are putting up with this from him but there is no way I would ever let another person dictate to me with whom I could be friends--especially a friendship that had lasted a decade or more.

 

I don't think you'll be able to change him, and it's only going to get worse. If this is the way you wish to live your life, with someone else calling the shots on what you can do and with whom you can associate, then that is your choice. If it were me, I'd issue him an ultimatum--my friend stays, and you accept it or get lost.

 

i told him that and he said ok but where ever she is i will not be

and you will go alone

 

do you think this is good enough?

[rafallus]

Either you'll break up with him, or you will cheat on him due to resentment/unhapiness.

 

Either of these.

[Lucky_One]

Personally, I think you are a crappy best friend, if you only speak to her 3 times a month and see her once every two months AND then when you finally spend some girl time (dress shopping), you invite your jealous unreasonable BF who dislikes your best friend.

 

You are the kind of nightmare friend that women fear - the one who dumps all of her girlfriends because she gets a man who is a jerk, but who comes running back to the girlfriends because her BF dumps her.