Has you ex contacted you?

[without]

If you're the one being dumped,Has your ex contacted you?after how long?did you answer them?

Edited September 5, 2011 by without

[mike588]

It's been 5 weeks and no contact I did however (2 weeks ago)I sent her an email for closure, telling her how I felt, how she used me, never loved me etc. She dumped me after 10 months to go back with her ex b/f.

She did respond with a long email telling me she was so sorry, I was a great b/f ect. etc. etc. Guess that was her closure or trying to wash away her guilt?

 

I don't expect to ever hear from her again and will be very very surprised if I ever do. I often wondered if she would come back cause I treated her so very well then realized she never was in love with me as much as she was/ is with her ex. but it's to late now.

Edited September 5, 2011 by mike588

[skibum]

Whelp, we dated 5 and a half years. 4 and a half months ago she broke up with me, lied to me about why, and within a month was dating the guy she told me she didnt leave me for.

 

We did 1 month NC. At the end of that month she called, I answered and had a boring convo. A few weeks later I found out she was dating this new guy she apparently didnt break up with me for.

 

Since then she called about 1 month later. I didnt answer and didnt reply. She just left a voicemail saying she wanted to catch up. She called a month later too (about 3 months since the breakup) and didnt leave a VM. A week later (like a month ago) she called and left a sad sounding VM saying that she hopes I could call her back.

 

I didnt.

 

The reason I am not returning her call is:

A. I am not going to be some backup option for a girl whom I apparently wasnt good enough for.

B. If I talk to her regularly it will hinder my progress, and Ive made a helluva lot of progress.

C. I dont want to be her friend. The new person she became is someone I dont respect or want in my life, it is not the girl I fell in love with. That girl would have never done to me what she did.

D. If she truly wanted me back then she would move mountains to make it happen. Only then would I consider talking to her to hear her apology and decide what to do.

 

O and also I felt a bit bad at first since she sounded so sad, but then I realized that her sorrow is NOTHING compared to what she put me through so why should I feel bad for her sleeping in the bed she made?

[Dig0923]

Dated my ex for 5 years and at the end of july she broke up with me due to her having G.I.G.s ( Which we both talked about and realized that is what was going on.) Before both of us realizing this was what was probably going on, she was confused and tried to pull the friends card and tried to string me along for a few weeks after the breakup.

Eventually before we went NC she told me the reason she broke up with me was because she was interested in someone else and she left me because she thought she would be unfaithful to me.

 

So flash forward 2 weeks later after full NC she texted me two nights ago telling me she misses me and can't stop crying and tells me she wants to start over with me, this was all through text by the way. I proceeded with caution and I am suppose to meet up with her for coffee later tonight so she "can talk to me about things". I am being very cautious and going to let her initiate everything as well as let her say what she has to say. I am strong enough now to walk away if I need.

 

Weird that I saw this post two days after my ex got in contact with me after we went NC ( both agreeed ). Obviously the first thought in my head when she contacted me was, "Hmm did things not work out with that other guy?" but I still will go and see what she has to say.

[Alabama277]

My ex has contacted me a every few weeks since our breakup two months ago.

 

He fully started calling and messaging me about a week ago to get back together with him. After a few days of being unsure if I should get involved again, we started hanging out. Turns out he was sleeping around and was still unsure if he wanted to be with me, just didn't want to lose me in the long-run and basically wants me to wait around until he clears his head. I made my point clear that I don't deserve to be treated that way and I left him for good. There will be better out there, hopefully.

[Nohbody]

Funny you should ask! Why, just today I got an email. She dumped me on Easter Sunday, and no, I am not responding.

[RodG]

Nope, no contact from the ex. Dumped me on May 18th, last time she said anything was the end of May. That's it. Not a peep.

[sun_moon]

I got a text over a month ago that I didnt respond to and that was the last I have ever heard of him. Before then, he was contacting me weekly by text or call trying to talk or be friends or what not, I repeatedly kept telling him to STOP contact.

 

So that was the last of it, me ignoring him pretty much did the trick.

 

I'm sure he's happy now whatever he's doing.

[ScienceGal]

Almost 3 months and no contact.

 

Saw him last weekend for the first time and he acted like he didn't know me. Actually came up to me to introduce himself and that he is "awesome" (big ego).

 

Last night I drunkenly told my good friend that I still miss him but that I hope he never calls. Both are true, but I stopped talking to anyone about him weeks ago, so I am a little disappointed I said it. Sometimes I wish my heart was not so big

[lalalandman]

My ex of 5 years called me when I was coming back from Vegas yesterday and said she 'didn't want me to be mad at her'. She wished me an early happy birthday which is in 2 weeks. She dumped me 4 months ago. I pretty much said 'maybe you should give some thought as to why you even care' and got off the phone. She called a few times within a couple hours afterwards, but I didn't pick up. Selfish.

Edited September 5, 2011 by lalalandman

[without]

Thanks everyone for answering.

Mine hasn't contacted and its been 2 months.

[jenjen83]

2 and a half weeks and he hasn't contacted me but I feel good about it,contact would only drag me back down.

[shayla]

Nope, it was one of the conditions the other woman gave him before their wedding 2 months later. I let her know what she was marrying and she let him know that he was never to speak to me or to his 3rd ex wife again.

[Spices]

He contacts me pretty much every day; somedays I don't answer, somedays I do. I never contact him.

 

He says he calls me to check up on me & see how I'm doing (since I deleted him from Facebook). He often asks to see me.

 

He's not emotionally available or ready for any kind of relationship, but part of him doesn't want to let me go. I guess you could say that he's kind of got a case of G.I.G right now. He says that his biggest fear is that I'll find someone else & that he'll loose me forever.

[Dig0923]

He contacts me pretty much every day; somedays I don't answer, somedays I do. I never contact him.

 

He says he calls me to check up on me & see how I'm doing (since I deleted him from Facebook). He often asks or finds reasons to see me.

 

He's not emotionally available or ready for any kind of relationship, but part of him doesn't want to let me go. I guess you could say that he's kind of got a case of G.I.G right now. He says that his biggest fear is that I'll find someone else & that he'll loose me forever.

 

What are you doing to help yourself if that situation or have you already checked out and got over him?

[Spices]

What are you doing to help yourself if that situation or have you already checked out and got over him?

 

I'm pretty much over it & have accepted it for the most part. A week ago I was in a lot of pain and did a lot of crying & moping about. I think for the most part I've gotten a good deal of that out of my system. I can honestly say that I'm at a good place right now & I'm focusing on myself, rather than on my ex. I barley thought about him today.

 

I started reading a book called The Sedona Method which has helped me out tremendously! I recommend anyone to read that book, especially if you're going through depression or a traumatic event. It basically teaches you to let go & focus on yourself. It's really quite amazing. It speeds the healing process by a mile stone. It also helps you in many other aspects of your life (such as success, happiness, ect). Here's a website that talks about some of the techniques: http://www.personal-development.info/sedona.html

 

I don't look at my ex with any animosity anymore (I started to for a while). I care for his well being and I truly do wish him the best. He's going through a lot right now & is pretty emotionally wounded & confused place right now. At this state we'd never work.

Edited September 6, 2011 by Spices

[amandap]

broke up the end of june, he said he didnt want contact so after 4 weeks i gave in with one phone call, he dumped me by the way, told him i loved him, but he didnt want to get back together, anyway ive not made any contact since but now he phones me once a week, in the last 4 weeks he has gone from not wanting to see me, to asking me on saturday if we could meet up next week, ive told him i dont know and that i will have to think about it, he has even started calling me by my pet name he had for me, well i am getting stronger, though still love him, my weeks are getting better, the funny thing is, it was him that wanted his freedom but this last call he told me he's not having a good week, we were together 10 yrs, so i dont know what the future holds, i do know that i will not just take him back now, if and i say if anything were to happen i would need to start dating him for sometime, i would need to see that he has changed and take things slowly

[Spices]

Mine still calls me by the pet names too. He says that calling me by anything else feels weird to him.

[amandap]

spices its so confusing when they use your pet name, it makes you feel they still care and have feelings,

[Spices]

Yeah, I agree. In my case, I know he still cares. It's pretty weird. For a while I told him to stop doing it, but he straight out refused. I've now come to just kind of accept it.

Edited September 6, 2011 by Spices

[LelouchIsZero]

Our relationship lasted for a year, we broke up around 5 months ago & have been NC for like 4.

 

I don't think she really plans on contacting me until next year, or something along the lines.

Edited September 6, 2011 by LelouchIsZero

[brakco]

My ex broke things off with me last week. At 5 am this morning he called drunkenly begging me to bring him fast food. I hated hearing from him but at the same time a request like that made me realize how much he used me. Uuuugh.

[Finch]

My ex used to call me quite a lot after we broke up, even though I had asked him not to. Eventually ignoring the (both drunken and sober) calls, texts and emails got through to him and he stopped. Until about a year ago, at which point the emails resumed. I didn't reply, but he continued to email me about every two months, telling me about his life, his worries.

Very, very strange. He broke up with me - more than four years ago! The reappearance was odd, out of the blue, and began with an email that started "I know you probably don't want to talk to me, but I really wanted to get in touch with you." On my birthday in July he sent me an email to wish me happy birthday, at which point I finally responded and told him that him contacting me was inappropriate as I am involved with someone else and it makes me uncomfortable. I'm not angry at him, I don't dislike him. But we're not friends, I'm living with someone, and I'm not interested in being in touch with him. I think this time he understands that no means no, but yet he still replied to my "do not email me anymore" request to say "I'm very sorry. I won't bother you again." Sheesh!

I have changed my email address just in case.

[katie.x]

Whelp, we dated 5 and a half years. 4 and a half months ago she broke up with me, lied to me about why, and within a month was dating the guy she told me she didnt leave me for.

 

We did 1 month NC. At the end of that month she called, I answered and had a boring convo. A few weeks later I found out she was dating this new guy she apparently didnt break up with me for.

 

Since then she called about 1 month later. I didnt answer and didnt reply. She just left a voicemail saying she wanted to catch up. She called a month later too (about 3 months since the breakup) and didnt leave a VM. A week later (like a month ago) she called and left a sad sounding VM saying that she hopes I could call her back.

 

I didnt.

 

The reason I am not returning her call is:

A. I am not going to be some backup option for a girl whom I apparently wasnt good enough for.

B. If I talk to her regularly it will hinder my progress, and Ive made a helluva lot of progress.

C. I dont want to be her friend. The new person she became is someone I dont respect or want in my life, it is not the girl I fell in love with. That girl would have never done to me what she did.

D. If she truly wanted me back then she would move mountains to make it happen. Only then would I consider talking to her to hear her apology and decide what to do.

 

O and also I felt a bit bad at first since she sounded so sad, but then I realized that her sorrow is NOTHING compared to what she put me through so why should I feel bad for her sleeping in the bed she made?

 

So do you think she rebounded and then regretted it very quickly as things didn't work out with guy number one, and things aren't as good as with you with guy number 2 also?

[melenkurion]

We've been in total NC for about six months now, and there has been only one finance-related contact in 9 months. If he does contact me, I doubt that I'll answer. He's someone from my past who wound up treating me pretty shabbily. With other people that are like that from my past who contact me (they do, from time to time), I ignore it. What's the point? He's no different.