manderbug Posted May 7, 2004 Share Posted May 7, 2004 So there's this guy at work who I recently went on a date with and things are just warming up. The problem is there is another girl at work who never leaves his side because she has a crush on him. She also makes the schedule so she is sure to work closely with him. I know he does not like her romantically, but I still somehow get steamed about this. If I get near him, she is always right there. I feel like I can't spend a second alone with the guy. So when she appears, I just leave. I can't fully explain why...I guess I just hate competition. Problem is, when I leave, I think he sees this as me not having interest in him. But this is NOT so! I really like him, but I don't know what to do. I feel myself even giving him the cold shoulder, although it is not his fault. I nearly ignored him when he told me goodbye as I left work today. (Because she was with him then too!) Help me out here...does this make him think I don't like him? And what approach should I take? Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted May 7, 2004 Share Posted May 7, 2004 Help me out here...does this make him think I don't like him? Yes. And it's more than likely that he's flattered that two girls are showing such an interest in him. You've been on one date. He is under no obligation to choose between the two of you, yet. If you get jealous and stomp off when she's around he could just think you're a bit too much to handle. Overly jealous people can be sad and pathetic. You don't want him to think that way about you, do you? She makes the schedules so you have no control over that. If he's smart and doesn't like this girl then he'll know what she's up to. You say you can't be alone with this guy, but what makes you think you should be alone with him at your work place? She wasn't along on the date with the two of you was she? Try and make friends with this girl if you can. I take it this guy & you are not an item yet so she's perfectly entitled to think that she has a chance with him too. Ultimately it's up to him which girl he's going to like so relax. If you come off as jealous and possesive right away you're going to scare him off. Link to post Share on other sites
Papillon Posted May 7, 2004 Share Posted May 7, 2004 Why worry that she's around? Make him yours and then gloat in her face! Link to post Share on other sites
Author manderbug Posted May 7, 2004 Author Share Posted May 7, 2004 He does not like her romantically, so it's not about him choosing her or me....( He has already told me this) to me, it's about me not wanting to witness her flirt with him, thereby making me ill. I don't think I come off as too jealous, though... I do not say anything rude or anything-- I just withdraw. My emotion is completely internal-- I don't externalize it. Maybe that's why it's killing me. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyrannaste Posted May 7, 2004 Share Posted May 7, 2004 *The day you and him become committed to each other* (not one day before!!!), you can either ask him not to encourage her flirting, or ask her -nicely!- "he is my boyfriend, I'd rather you stopped flirting with him because it bothers me, please". But I guess it is likely you won't need to if you two get committed. Once she'll know he has a girlfriend, she will probably give up the flirting. Link to post Share on other sites
magda Posted May 7, 2004 Share Posted May 7, 2004 If he's aware of her liking him, one wonders why he'd spend so much time with her. I think he likes the attention so he's keeping her around by flirting back just a little. If you hate "competition" I guess you're going to have to wait on this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author manderbug Posted May 7, 2004 Author Share Posted May 7, 2004 He is with her all the time because she follows him and schedules herself to work with him. Link to post Share on other sites
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