How do you escape from this type of rejection

[opentonewadvice]

Well hopefully a guy out there can give me some advice from a male point of view. Anyways i had been seeing an ex boyfriend all over again we were highschool sweet hearts and now adults near 30. but He basically just lost a love one and got out of a bad relationship and we started talking and he hooked up with me a couple times. and we talked alot even about the past like good things we use to do together. but as we started hanging out a bit more and talking i noticed he started telling me more about his bad relationship and what really went down that split the two of them up. and he really seemed to enjoy my company, And later even admitted how he enjoyed my company but at the same time i was not looking for nothing to come about us spending time together. but iam not going to lie i felt like we were able to relate like good friends and he would kind of gaze into my eyes when talking and we and he was attentive like very interested.

 

But all of a sudden one day he just stopped talking to me no invites over anymore and it seemed like he started playing somewhat of little head games which of course i will not tolerate. He would also just call back and ask whats up or what you got planned for the day? and then stand me up like real flippy one minute all into me then the next trying to prove something like having an ego. but i just wondered what happened like what did i do wrong? Or did he get the wrong impression of us hanging out like maybe i was falling for him and he did not want to go there? He even used to email me but now i have to check on him to see how he is doing. And being that i have known him for so long i feel like it should be mutual, but at the same time i do not want to be looked at as desperate.

 

Someone help please!!!!

[bluechocolate]

He just lost a loved one and has gotten out of a bad relationship. Sounds like he has some heavy stuff to work through. Could very well be that he thought things were getting "heavy" between the two of you and he's just not ready for another relationship. Why do you have to "check up" on him? High school to 30 is a big gap. Why do you feel he should be keeping you up on his life after such a long absence? You say that you don't have any feelings for this guy other than friendship but your post leads me to believe otherwise. Head games, checking on him, proving he has an ego, asking things like "where did I go wrong?". These aren't the sort of things people say or ask about their friends.

 

I have many friends in different countries. Sometimes we email regularily and sometimes weeks and even months can go by before we're in touch again. I don't think we're playing head games or anything of the sort and I don't think they like me any less because of it. I know I certainly don't. We're just getting on with life. Maybe that's all he's doing.

[opentonewadvice]

Thanks for the advice. I probably did not really explain myself well it does sound like iam asking of too much. I just felt like he was playing head games because somehow he has always entered my life on and off again. and yes i just need to leave things along at best but i guess it just always seemed like we depended on each other for comfort here and there and now it feels strange.

[bluechocolate]

i guess it just always seemed like we depended on each other for comfort here and there

 

If he is only getting in touch with you when he has problems then I would say he's looking for a counsellor and not a friend. Are you qualified for this? Is it even a role that you want to take on? Friends do more together than just spill their guts when they're in turmoil. Let him have the initiative, make time for him if it's convenient, but if all he's doing is talking about his problems tell him to seek some professional help and give you a call when he's feeling better. Maybe you should involve him in activities when there are other people around and get "out of yourselves" for a while.