what is wrong with me?

[carmel]

help! i don't know why i get in these moods but they are about to ruin the best relationship i've ever had. some times i get this bug up my but and drill my poor boyfriend to death, literally, about his where about, actions, lack of them, etc. i don't know why i do this, i hate it when i do, it seems no matter how hard i try to stop myself i can't make myself shut up! i keep on going and going and going! ! ! !

 

today he called me "mom" and a host of other things as well, i shall not repeat here, i called him things right back, and we ended up hanging up on each other and are not speaking. we live together so this is harder not to face him. i will admit sometimes its jealousy, other times???? any advice? am i just looney and better off single?

[Jenna]

Carmel-

 

You made me laugh- not that your problem is funny- but I saw myself doing the same thing. Fortunately- I discovered what my problem was and had it taken care of. A few years ago when "Norplant" (the contraceptive) was made available- this is the one that goes in your arm and lasts for up to 5 years- I had to have it. The thought of not having to think about birth control seemed like heaven to me. Well- Heaven quickly turned into Hell and the mood swings came on full force. I knew the whole time that I was being completely unreasonable in most situations- like crying over laundry- and screaming if a pillow was out of place. And yet- I couldn't stop- I was out of control of myself. After 18 months of this I decided to have the Norplant removed- and after about a month- I was back to normal. Hormones can do strange things to you- and they don't have to come from chemical forms of birth control- they can come from your monthly cycle too. Have you ever taken note of what time of month you experience these fits? If not- start marking it on your calendar- if you are already on a chemical type of birth control- maybe you should talk to your doctor about changing the perscription or get off of it completely. If you are not on any kind of chemical BC- and you are experiencing PMS - your doctor may want you to try a very small dosage of Prozac taken everyday- or a larger dosage taken the week before and during your cycle. This has proven to be quite effective for women who suffer severe PMS that involves depression and mood swings.

 

If you are acting out this way and there is no notable pattern or reason for it- you may need to seek the advice of a counselor and possibly look into the idea of drugs or therapy that will help control your outbursts.

 

You should also look at the possibility that your boyfriend may just enjoy pushing your buttons- and if thats the case-he seems to be very skilled in doing so. If this behavior has just recently manifested itself since your boyfriend came along- and there haven't been any other changes (mentioned above)- maybe you two just aren't compatible.

 

Good Luck- Jenna

help! i don't know why i get in these moods but they are about to ruin the best relationship i've ever had. some times i get this bug up my but and drill my poor boyfriend to death, literally, about his where about, actions, lack of them, etc. i don't know why i do this, i hate it when i do, it seems no matter how hard i try to stop myself i can't make myself shut up! i keep on going and going and going! ! ! ! today he called me "mom" and a host of other things as well, i shall not repeat here, i called him things right back, and we ended up hanging up on each other and are not speaking. we live together so this is harder not to face him. i will admit sometimes its jealousy, other times???? any advice? am i just looney and better off single?

[carmel]

tony, i realize that you want others to respond to posts, but it seems when they do then you don't. you said you think people that post here need a variety of opinions, and i agree, but why is it that when others post their opinion

 

you don't? we like others opinions as well as yours. thank you...........you are a gem! and thank all the other new ones on here answering posts as well.....i wish i had half the insight to answer just one post on here, i'd feel pretty smart!

help! i don't know why i get in these moods but they are about to ruin the best relationship i've ever had. some times i get this bug up my but and drill my poor boyfriend to death, literally, about his where about, actions, lack of them, etc. i don't know why i do this, i hate it when i do, it seems no matter how hard i try to stop myself i can't make myself shut up! i keep on going and going and going! ! ! ! today he called me "mom" and a host of other things as well, i shall not repeat here, i called him things right back, and we ended up hanging up on each other and are not speaking. we live together so this is harder not to face him. i will admit sometimes its jealousy, other times???? any advice? am i just looney and better off single?

[Tony T]

For some reason you seem to be wanting to destroy the relationship. You do have control of your behavior. If you don't, you need to check yourself in with the boys in the white suits immediately. Seriously, if you feel your behavior is totally beyond your ability to control, see a doctor immediately.

 

People who are either afraid of intimacy or who have no had good family experiences during childhood tend to go out of their way to screw up their relationships in some way. You are doing an excellent job of it. My gut feeling is this is an issue from childhood and you may need professional help to address it. If this is a jealousy thing, maybe your father cheated on your mother. If this is a control issue, maybe your parents were overly controlling and you are carrying that on into the next generation. If you were in front of me and I could talk to you, I would have this sorted out in three minutes.

 

Usually, when someone is going out of their way to sabotage a relationship, it is clearly because they are afraid...either of the intimacy, of abandonment, or of being engulfed and smothered by another human being.

 

At any rate, I urge you to get help for this if you really want your relationship because you are doing everything in your power to end it.

 

It's not so bad being single...but my guess is you'd really like a relationship if you could wipe out your fears...and jealously is a form of fear...fear of losing someone you love.

 

Happy trails!!!

[Heather]

Hi, just like you I have been there too. Maybe the problem is jealousy, but maybe not. Like Jenna said it could be some chemical imbalance due to birth control, or it could be that you don't trust your mate for whatever reason. If that is the problem then I think you and your mate should discuss it and find out why you don't trust him. Alot of people say that if you don't trust your partner than you can't have a good relationship. That is not always the case. I have been there and I have overcome my trust problems. My mate has even cheated on me once before and even though I have not forgotten about it (and it will take a long time to do so) I have forgiven. I think that it has brought us closer. So whether or not you trust him, you still need to discuss with him your feelings and in the end maybe you can work things out!

 

Good luck!

 

Heather

help! i don't know why i get in these moods but they are about to ruin the best relationship i've ever had. some times i get this bug up my but and drill my poor boyfriend to death, literally, about his where about, actions, lack of them, etc. i don't know why i do this, i hate it when i do, it seems no matter how hard i try to stop myself i can't make myself shut up! i keep on going and going and going! ! ! ! today he called me "mom" and a host of other things as well, i shall not repeat here, i called him things right back, and we ended up hanging up on each other and are not speaking. we live together so this is harder not to face him. i will admit sometimes its jealousy, other times???? any advice? am i just looney and better off single?