kate20165 Posted May 7, 2004 Share Posted May 7, 2004 Hello, I've been married for two years but dated my husband for five years before marriage. I recently received an email from my ex that I knew from elementary school until the end of high school. I asked my husband if we could chat, get issues resolved, etc and he said ok. I feel much better. When my ex and I were dating we said we would remain friends even after we broke up. I guess the time has come and I would like to remain friends with my ex. My friend wants to get together for lunch but my husband doesn't want that. I would invite my husband but he works two hours away from where we would have lunch. My husband says he trusts me but since he has not met my ex he doesn't trust him. I would let my husband be friends with his ex because they were really good friends too. I guess he's just insecure or am I just thinking about making a stupid decision? Any suggestions? BTW I am not attracted to this person physically, have strong faith, and love my marriage. Kate Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted May 7, 2004 Share Posted May 7, 2004 Any unresolved issues from way back in highschool certainly can't be important enough to jeopardize your adult relationships, now. Although I know a lot of people who have a hard time letting go of the past and moving on. Your husband has already voiced his disapproval of you meeting this man alone, so your loyalties first and foremost should be to him. So as not to hurt anyone's feelings, you should tell your friend that you would love to get together with him just as soon as you, and your husband, can free up your schedules. Other than that, you'd be foolish to do anything that could cause a rift in your marriage. You should also consider how you might feel if the situation were reversed. Sometimes it requires a lesson in 'empathy' and respect to maintain a trustworthy relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
kate20165 Posted May 7, 2004 Share Posted May 7, 2004 I will just invite him out one weekend with my husband and friends. My husband doesn't mind that. If the situation was reversed I wouldn't mind because we both take marriage seriously. I'm not interested in "dating" this guy, I just know that he is a great friend. I'm obviously over this guy...it seems silly to me that people are so insecure. He's a great person and I would be interested in hooking him up with one of my single friends. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted May 7, 2004 Share Posted May 7, 2004 ...it seems silly to me that people are so insecure. It only seems like 'insecurity' depending on which side of this situation you're standing on! Hopefully, you'll remember those words if/when your husband decides to spend some time with one of his gal pals. And he'll remember how well you handled the situation and feel obliged do the same. These things ALWAYS have a way of turning back around on you. Just wait and see!... Link to post Share on other sites
kate20165 Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 I guess whatever happens happens. I found out that he lied to me for two years about hacking into my email account. Maybe I'm trying to get back at him for breaking trust. I don't think I'll go. Thank you for your advise. Link to post Share on other sites
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