leoc1973 Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 Ok what the heck are you girls talking about when you say that you are confused. You look at the guy you say to yourself I love him or I don't and take it from there... Is the confusion all about keeping the poor guy hanging while you play the field? Cause that is totally what it seems like to me. What a terrible way to live your life and treat someone who loves you. Funny thing is it usually is the really good guys that get this deal from their women. Then they find someone else and whoa you don't know what you were thinking. Ugh so frustrating!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Hatu Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 "nice guys finish last". the reality of things is if this happens to you, you let it happen to you. I discovered after many months of hating my ex (anger produced from being dumped) that I was actually mad at myself - not her. Mad at thinking she was the one, mad at spending so much time, effort, energy, money, etc. into the relationship. Mad for thinking it would last forever... When a girl dumps a guy she's 100% sure it's the right decision. And to be totally honest your history with a girl has nothing to do with getting back together or not. Every long term relationship has history. When a girl says she's confused it means: - She doesn't know what she wants / she's immature - She doesn't know what to do or she has no idea what she's doing - She isn't totally sure of what to do and doesn't want to make the wrong decision It's a big risk getting back with an Ex. Link to post Share on other sites
wavejumper Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 it's not just girls who do this. i'm in the same situation with my ex. we've been separated for exactly a year now and he has come back after being abroad for 3 months and say's he's having doubts about getting divorced, but is confused about whether to initiate anything new with me. i was really strong with NC for all the time he was gone, but then he got in touch and started throwing breadcrumbs and i fell for it, ugh! Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 it's not just girls who do this. i'm in the same situation with my ex. we've been separated for exactly a year now and he has come back after being abroad for 3 months and say's he's having doubts about getting divorced, but is confused about whether to initiate anything new with me. i was really strong with NC for all the time he was gone, but then he got in touch and started throwing breadcrumbs and i fell for it, ugh! if you aren't divorced, you're still married. that's not the same as a relationship and just walking away. Link to post Share on other sites
wolf1one Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 (edited) Yeah, I agree with an above poster saying that you might just be mad, and need a place to put blame. Maybe try exerting that anger towards something physical ... like working out. Also, a bold statement like that shows that you've never been on the other side. I don't think dumper's want to string anyone along ... unless they are truly malicious (and if you fell for that girl, then shame on you). If you put yourself in their shoes ... it's not as easy as you think. To you, love is simple, because you feel it there. But think about it... they don't feel it, and so it's not as simple. It makes them frustrated that they can't feel it anymore ... and it confuses them. They try desperately to feel it again, and think and think about it ... but it's not there. This becomes suffocating ... and what I think becomes the final closer in the relationship. Some people take months to realize that they aren't really confused about the love, but that they just have a hard time letting go. Maybe take that step for her, and you will see that after this she isn't so confused. Edited September 7, 2011 by wolf1one Link to post Share on other sites
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