Fritz Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 Yeesh. Mountain out of a molehill. I just don't see the big deal here on either side. They're married, they both have a right to open bills. Personal mail.. thats different. That I wouldn't generally like unless asked first. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 The salary - her salary in the only source of income People really have to learn to read. She is NOT the only income-earner. She said: I work full time to help support us She also said I see his pay check and stub..in fact, I'm the one that deposits it. So I know how much money he has. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 I didn't read the whole thread but my immediate reaction was - ask him to show you the bills after he has opened the envelopes, just b/c you'd like to see how things are going. -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Author FolderWife Posted May 8, 2004 Author Share Posted May 8, 2004 WHOAH, sorry, i made a MESS of my topic. He brings home $2,400 a month I bring home $1,000 a month. He drives a 2003 sports car I drive a 99 jeep He has 200 channels my tv only gets 74 See, he makes more money, but he has the more expensive items. He makes enough to support us, and my money is just for extra things (like cable, and a tanning bed, and shopping sprees, etc.) I didn't really have a problem with just him opening the mail, but the fact that he didn't want me to bothered me. HOWEVER this was arranged when WE FIRST GOT MARRIED. We've been married a year now. Last night, I was writing down some stuff in the check book, and he was playing irritating, so I said, "just for that, I'm going to open your mail." I opened it, took it out, and laid it down. He didn't say anything. We were play fighting, and I mentioned how he wouldn't let me open the mail, and he said, "I don't care if you open the mail ...I didn't get mad when you opened that one just now." Mind you, every time I've opened mail before, he's smarted off about it. Maybe he was kidding and I mistook it. So before I get my panties in a knot over this, I'm going to start opening the mail before I bring it to him, and see what he does. I swear, though, I opened the electric bill one time, and he made a comment like I wasn't to open it We'll see. As for the Cable bill.....I was aaaaaaaaaaaaaall upset that he'd ordere 8 PORNOS!!! I wasn't going to look at it, for fear of pouring salt in my wound. He'd ordered 3 AT THE SAME TIME on a Thursday, the next to last day of his vacation. I thought he'd watched them every day of his vacation. The next day, Friday, he'd ordered 2 at the same time. The follwing Sunday, he'd ordered 1, then he ordered one the following day, a Monday, during the afternoon, right before I got home, and then another one the following Friday right before I got home. So really he didn't watch TOO many. I thought EIGHT!!! MY GOD!!! But since he was watching 3 at the same time (what an idiot ) then I guess it added up to more like 5. And it wasn't every day. I can see how he'd get bored and want a porno. EVEN THOUGH HE'S PROMISED NOT TO, I'm going to try and get past it this time. *sigh* If he'd just TALK to me, I wouldn't have to come on here and get general opinions to figure him out! He says one thing, so I think somethings wrong, then he turns around and acts like I'm crazy for thinking he meant what he said! What do I do with that? Soooooo many issues I bet if he'd get on here and talk, you all would think he's married to a crazy person. I can't figure him out, and he won't tell me anything straight, so I'm stuck guessing. Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 Originally posted by Monday I pay the bills where I work. (...) we just decided to let him handle the bills, since he already had a system that worked for him....even though I pay bills professionally Anyhoo, when we got married, I asked if he cared if I opened mail with his name on it. He said yes. I fully expected him to say no. I work full time to help support us, so I'd like to know how much money we are forking over for electricity and stuff. I tend to go shopping, and overspend, because I don't know how much we are going to spend on bills, because he won't let me see them. If I open a bill (even if it is in MY name) he gets upset. I am just used to married couples not caring if the other opens their mail or not...whoopty doo. I don't guess I particularly WANT to open his mail, it's just the fact that I'm not ALLOWED to open his mail....even though I'm working full time to help pay for whatever is in the envelope. Maybe the subject was opened to interpretation !!! Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 And maybe, just maybe, some might refrain themselves from making the "know-it-all" statements, especially when the sujbect was opened to interpretation ! Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 the sujbect was opened to interpretation ! Well, I see his pay check and stub..in fact, I'm the one that deposits it is pretty unequivocal. It's not a question of 'knowitall'. It's a question of seeing what's right there in black and white - or grey, blue, magenta, or however one's screen is set up! Link to post Share on other sites
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