Am I too paranoid?

[redslider]

My b-friend and I are in great relationship, but some things happened lately that made me really irritated. One is that his female coworker left a message on the answering machine to invite him to "have a walk" with her at the park after work. I replayed the message for more than 10 times, her tone, her intention, etc., were just not right to me. The other is, one of his female friends wants to visit him and stay overnight over the weekend while I will be gone. I totally trust him and I don't think he will do anything intentionally to hurt me, but the idea of a female being along with him under the same roof and staying overnight makes me feel really uncomfortable. I don't want to be over-reacted, but am I too paranoid?

[Pyrannaste]

No, you are not.

 

Ask him about his friends.

 

Tell him you feel unconfortable at the idea of his friend staying at his place.

Look at how he reacts.

Do you know her in person?

Why not asking him to have her at his place -if he really has to- when you are staying overnight at his place too?

How would he like it if a male friend of you spent the night in your house?

 

About the message, I'd wait the 'walk in the park day' and see

-if he goes or stays home

-whether he tells you about the message.

-if he goes and lies about it.

 

in the last case, why not having a walk in the park too?

[bluechocolate]

You might be, but then again ....

 

Do you know this female friend who's going to stay the night? Are they old chums that go way back? Is she currently in a relationship?

 

Either way, if you're uncomfortable about it and you're not going to be there he should do the right thing by you.

[befuddled11]

You're not paranoid at all......you're just smart. You "gut" is telling you to keep your eyes and ears open, and that's what you're doing.

 

Do you happen to know if this coworker who invited him for a walk in the park KNOWS ABOUT YOU? Do you know her? Have you ever met her? As a woman, your instincts are good.....and if you sense there's something "off" with the tone of her invitation, trust your instincts. NOW.....just because she might be interested in him, that doesn't mean he's interested in her, or that there's anything going on there. For all you know, maybe she doesn't even know about you? Or maybe she does and she's a skank who chases after guys who are involved?

 

If she works with him, why would she leave a msg on his home machine suggesting a walk after work? Wouldn't she just ask him this when she runs into him at work? That's kind of odd.

 

As for the female friend who's going to be staying overnight at his place when you're not there, that wouldn't fly with me, for obvious reasons. I don't believe that people in relationships, no matter how good of friends they are, should be having friends of the opposite sex spend the night. It's just trouble looking for a place to happen. It's just not proper. There's things called hotels. Does that friend know about you? Have you ever met her?

 

Overall, how is your trust for your boyfriend? Has he ever given you any reason to suspect he's not 100% honest?

 

How long have you 2 been together?

 

Neither situation would sit well with me, not in the least. And I'm not, by nature, a very jealous person.

[EnigmaXOXO]

Am I too paranoid?

 

No your not.

 

If it were me, he'd be in the emergency room right now having that answering machine surgically removed from his ars!

[redslider]

Thanks to you all!!! At first, I thought I'm just being crazy, but after reading all the advice you gave me, my heart felt a lot lighter.

 

The female coworker and the female friend both know about me. There's nothing like this happened in my 3-year relationship with my boyfriend. After listening to the message with me, he did tell the coworker the next day that it's not cool to leave such message. A couple of days ago, we met her at the park walking with another guy, and that's the first time I met her. My bf told me that the day after the park, she told him that she's glad that I saw her with another guy, because it showed that she could find her own man. Now, I'm just highly alert whenever I heard her name.

 

As for the female friend, my bf told me that he sees her as his younger sister and nothing else. Since his mom told me that this girl used to have a crush on him, I just don't trust her. My bf politely refused her proposed visit, but he told me it's because he needs to work that weekend. I did tell him that if she wants to come over again, I perfer to be around. He didn't answer me at that time, and I don't want to bring it up again, but I do hope that he had heard what I said. Sometimes I am just really confused, confused about my own feelings, because he's my first, and I don't have enough life experience to handle all the confusion.