nikkicam71 Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 All ex's are evil. I believe my ex is the devil. Beelzebub, all dressed up in a swarthy physique and a stunning countenance. They say the devil is the embodiment of all of our secret, most forbidden desires...everything we want, but can't have unless we betray ourselves and sell our souls....MY EX!!! Why not yours too?? I'm working on a manuscript titled, "Death of the Stinky Fishman". 101 ways and methods to kill your ex (hehehe). Fun putting on paper what you've longed to do each time you're angry or hurting. I predict it will be a HUGE bestseller...you all will buy a copy won't you? Help put me on the Times Best Seller list?? So, I went to the DMB concert last night w/ my friend, Bonnie. LOVE DMB. The day that I bought the tix, my ex's sis said, "Isn't D going to that concert?" NOOOOOO!! He has no friends that like DMB...he knows I LOVE DMB...he took me to a concert for our second date, burned me a CD, etc. So I go like, "...so what? I don't care!" Bullsh*t! So later his sister tells me that D is taking another girl, a friend of his older sister's....oh, but they're "just friends".....YEAH! So not only was I PLAGUED by memories of our second date last night, memories of all of the things we did and how much the music reminded me of "us", I was hella paranoid...kept thinking that fate was going to kick me in the teeth and out of the HUNDREDS of people sitting on the lawn at the concert, I would run into him, WITH HER....and I would melt into a puddle of humiliation right there on the proverbial hill. I did NOT run into him and her. Thanks be to God! But "knowing" he was there, with another girl, probably kanoodling...to OUR sexy music, when the last time he was at a DMB concert it was with me....was killing me. He was there, I was there...we weren't there together. Because he doesn't want to be with me ouchouchouchouch. I cried myself to sleep last night. Damn, I'd been doing so well. Today is day 20, No Contact. I told him not to call unless he missed me and wanted to see me. We will never speak again. keep your collective chin up for me today, kids. I'm having trouble seeing the light at the end of the tunnel with all of this damn water in my eyes. ~Nikki Link to post Share on other sites
doubledown Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 A large amount of time with no contact? How 'bout going on 7 months? Anyone got that beat? Anyone? Link to post Share on other sites
skaterchicken Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 Originally posted by doubledown A large amount of time with no contact? How 'bout going on 7 months? Anyone got that beat? Anyone? Are you saying that it's been 7 months since you heard from your ex? Or you finally heard from your ex after 7 months? Oh, and I had a friend, that went 7 months w/o talking to her boyfriend that she broke up with. Link to post Share on other sites
Blah Toolz Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 Originally posted by doubledown A large amount of time with no contact? How 'bout going on 7 months? Anyone got that beat? Anyone? Nah... I haven't seen mine in over 2 months now. It's tearing me up. How's it going for you...? Has it gotten easier for you? Link to post Share on other sites
BrotherD Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 nikkicam71 Wow, nik I hearin' ya. All ex's are evil. I believe my ex is the devil. Beelzebub, all dressed up in a swarthy physique and a stunning countenance. They say the devil is the embodiment of all of our secret, most forbidden desires...everything we want, but can't have unless we betray ourselves and sell our souls....MY EX!!! Why not yours too?? I'd like to add to this and say, whatever "spell" we were under when we were with them is mostly of our creation and that's the lesson we need to learn here. It's what we told ourselves about them that gave them their power. And all spells can be broken. The only way they can be nasty and evil is if we particpate or put them on a pedastal. I realized that by strictly adhereing to NC, the "spell" is neutralized... Being human means being able to assign meaning to things and events in our lives. No other creature does this. We could have just as easily told ourselves another "story" about our ex's. Like they were a mere mortal, and the bathroom stinks after their done with their business, just like everyone else... But OH NO! We told ourselves that they were the end all be all, and down the stoney path we went. When they know we're "crazy" about them (I think we smell different under the spell and they can tell) that's when they go for the throat and the nastiness begins. In all fairness, neediness (for lack of a better term) is not attractive... So, again the lesson here is, through language, we tell ourselves things about the world and our interactions with it. If it's all "made up" (and it is) why not just tell ourselves a different story and move on? Only by getting away from the crazy making environment can a new chapter (and dialog) begin. Only when the spell is broken can a new dance begin with our ex's ( if that's what we want.) How long it takes is unclear. Probably different for each situation. I got clear around 3 months. Funny thing is, I'm damn near over it. And that, friends, is the best antidote to the creepy spell. I'll probably get a call soon! I don't care one way or another... If this sounds a bit new agey, sorry. BroD Link to post Share on other sites
2ndConfusedfemale Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 Well, I haven't had any contact with my (almost "ex" boyfriend) in almost 4 months. It gets really hard SOMETIMES because when I go on the internet I can see when he is on and when he isn't. BUT, I cannot and will not call him because he was a dog, and I think that it'll be pretty lame if I (the person who was lied to) contacted him. But yesterday I thought about saying something, and I just couldn't, I didn't see a point, and I still don't. My only problem is that when I am free of thoughts concerning him I have a dream about us talking. ANYWAY, I promised myself that I wouldn't let myself be that pathetic and chase after someone who lied to me from the beginning Link to post Share on other sites
doubledown Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 Skaterchicken, It's been almost 7months since we talked, over 7 months since we saw each other. No email, AIM, SMS, nada. Blahtoolz, Sometimes it's easier, somtimes it's tough. I still think of her everyday. The pain is still there, it just dulls over time. It's much easier now, to not pick up the phone. I never did end up dialing, but I was very close. I don't even think about it now, especially since she has a live-in BF now. Oh, and I like your logo, Vlad's having an all-star season.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sid3 Posted July 23, 2004 Author Share Posted July 23, 2004 Hey Bro D It's good to see your doing even better.Your replies are always right on. It's almost old school. I agree, there is nothing evil about the exs. Only what we allow in our minds. Just because someone decides they no longer want you in their life doesn't make them evil. Far from it. Rather than pine and choose to suffer, I hope she is doing sensational, I will be as well in time. Our problems are small compared to others. It is true, if you have your health, you have everything. I can walk away from this computer, and I have two hands to type with, It's just too easy to not realize what we do have when hurting from the loss of love. But if it were true love there wouldn't have been a loss, my opinion anyhow. Love can be one sided, sucks but based on all the topics and posts on this site, it is a stone cold fact. Sucks to feel trampled on, but it feels so much better when your able to pick yourself up. Laughter really is the best medicine. Link to post Share on other sites
miggsbucks Posted July 23, 2004 Share Posted July 23, 2004 you put that in dreamguy's thread too "no contact works...." its no wonder love shack have to look for another server lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author sid3 Posted May 31, 2008 Author Share Posted May 31, 2008 Sid, They say that if you want to reach something very hard to normally attain then you should set small goals and reach them one after the other until you finally make it to the last "hard" goal. I think you can call it the "divide and conquer" strategy in life. Divide a problem into smaller easier tasks and conquer them one after the other to solve the bigger issue. it's ALWAYS easier this way and the results are garantueed ! What I'm telling you is: when people make impossible promises to themselves they often fail to keep them. What you should do instead is to say I'll do this, then that, then this... until you finally make it to your destination without even realizing that it required any extra effort ! That's a good approach in difficult situations like yours. You don't have to say I will never talk to her. You don't have to say "Standing firm in the no contact, I know I'll make it this time". These thoughts are unbearable to almost anyone. That's why you end up breaking your word and calling everytime. So be smart. Only you can know how much promises and emotions you can handle at any given time without breaking down (we all have a threshold). Try to set a limit and never force yourself to exceed it. Don't look at any pictures, don't listen to any songs that bring back memories, try to avoid places where you two have been. This is how you will make it. Tell yourself: I won't call her now and there is no reason why she wouldn't be thinking about me and I should stop obsessing about it because I cannot really be sure about anything (after all she would have never been with you if she never liked you in the first place). Then when you feel you need to hear it again, tell yourself the same thing and be convinced about it (eventhough it's easier said then done, you can do it). Those are the small goals you should set for yourself and as you reach them one by one you will undoubtedly be heading towards your ultimate objective which is "no more pain, no more suffering and no more doubts". Hours will go by then days will pass then weeks will fly... before you know it you'll be feeling much better. It's hard to believe my words, I know. But this is one of the things you have to have blind faith in. Do you see the air around you ? Nope, yet you breathe it every second. It will get harder before it gets better, I'm telling you !! You can bet on that. But don't lose sight of your objective. Even if you cannot see yourself getting over it in the future, just believe all the millions of people who went through this before you. Ain't that enough as a proof ? This was and still is a excellent reply! Link to post Share on other sites
nab0610 Posted May 31, 2008 Share Posted May 31, 2008 got a couple for you my parents fell madly in love after dating for about a month...things moved so fast to the point that 5 months in they were talking about marriage...both were 25 at the time...my mom got freaked out and said she needed space at 6 months...my dad said that even tho it killed him he looked her right in the eye said ok and didn't talk to her again...they got back together about a month later and have now been happily married for 25 years my neighbors down the street broke up twice once for a year and half but have now been happily married for 20 some years...sometimes it just takes time to heal and time to realize how much somebody meant to you... honestly the only thing i really ever see that takes ppl out of the equation of dating again is lying and cheating because some times no matter how much you love someone you just don't feel like you can trust them again Link to post Share on other sites
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