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Staying Friends is hard


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antdoggg31

Staying Friends is hard:

 

Monday Morning:

I hadn't talk to her for bout 3-4 days prior and she calls and wakes me up outta the blue....we talk about how each other is doing and then about are weekends and its like we are checking on each other to see how we are taking it. Its no contest she is taking it way better than I am, although I put up a good front hers is seamless....

 

So it has been a month since she broke up with me and I still miss her alot...

Anyway the thing is we still talk about once or twice a week. I myself try not to call her at all unless she contacts me, so for the most part she calls me and our conversations are fairly regular and we joke alot like we use to. See thats the thing I don't have a good track record of being friends with ex's and so I am trying to turn over a new leaf so to speak as she seems to want to still be friends, but it sucks as I try to act like I am cool with it, but I am missing her alot. I don't know how much more of this I can take, as each time I talk to her it seems to initially relieve me, but then after we talk I feel worse.

I hate this crap and I want her back but at the sametime I know we can't go back to the same BS.

 

I can only hope that we both learned something from this and maybe we cross paths and reconcile someday. Until then....for now I remain a friend......Or at least try.....

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meanttolive4ever

hmm

 

id say dont call or anything that has to do with contacting her cause itll only make you seem desperate..i learned that the hard way. Just give it time and everything will work out

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krbshappy71

Are you feeling like she is hanging on to you until she finds someone else? Or does she really seem to want to be friends?

 

Don't let yourself be used as a back up, hon. Take care of yourself, if this doesn't feel healthy, make a clean break.

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meanttolive4ever
Originally posted by krbshappy71

Are you feeling like she is hanging on to you until she finds someone else? Or does she really seem to want to be friends?

 

Don't let yourself be used as a back up, hon. Take care of yourself, if this doesn't feel healthy, make a clean break.

 

yea i had that problem..i was on the back burner..now i dont know where i stand

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bluechocolate

Why oh why do people do this to themselves?

 

When people do something and then discover that it hurts usually they stop doing it, and for good reason. It's only the people on the wrong side of a break up that have trouble with "being friends", and again, for good reason. She broke up with and you still like her. If it's over then move her out of your life and move on with your own. You're only prolonging the agony.

 

Just tell her if you two can't be together then you can't be friends with her. Maybe one day, just not now. Then don't get in touch and ask her not to get in touch with you. Of course it's going to be hard at first, but you'll get over it faster this way. Honestly. Otherwise what do you do? Wait for the day she call's you up and asks you to come over and meet her new boyfriend?

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meanttolive4ever
Originally posted by bluechocolate

Why oh why do people do this to themselves?

 

When people do something and then discover that it hurts usually they stop doing it, and for good reason. It's only the people on the wrong side of a break up that have trouble with "being friends", and again, for good reason. She broke up with and you still like her. If it's over then move her out of your life and move on with your own. You're only prolonging the agony.

 

Just tell her if you two can't be together then you can't be friends with her. Maybe one day, just not now. Then don't get in touch and ask her not to get in touch with you. Of course it's going to be hard at first, but you'll get over it faster this way. Honestly. Otherwise what do you do? Wait for the day she call's you up and asks you to come over and meet her new boyfriend?

 

when me n my ex broke up..i picked him up from his work one afternoon and we were driving back to his apt cause his sister was there..and on the way there i said how come you wont hang ou twith me..he was like i dont know..then when i said "you said you want to be friends but yet u wont hang out with me" he was like "sorry" in an atitude..like he was getting smart...but then i was smart enough not to talk to him and then he decided to call...but its all good now...im finally getting over him.

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antdoggg31

Quote:

Just tell her if you two can't be together then you can't be friends with her. Maybe one day, just not now. Then don't get in touch and ask her not to get in touch with you. Of course it's going to be hard at first, but you'll get over it faster this way. Honestly. Otherwise what do you do? Wait for the day she call's you up and asks you to come over and meet her new boyfriend?

 

 

OUCH!

Yeah you guys all bring up valid points, (especially you bluechocolate).....I think thats the only logical plan, just tell her that I can't just be friends right now. I have tried and its just not working out....I have too many feelings for her right now.

 

She could very well be holding on for now until something better comes along, ah well gotta get thru this crap some way and I think that being friends just isn't working out for me.....I see now why other break ups I have had have not been so bad cuz I never try to be friends, but with this girl we really didn't break up on bad terms so I thought friends why not? I see now why not becuz it doesn't work when yiur still stuck on the other person....

 

Anyway thanks again everyone I appreciate the feedback......Happy Mothers Day!

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