Author gladiator Posted October 21, 2011 Author Share Posted October 21, 2011 Thanks for the support and advice guys All I can do now is pay my solicitor a visit,sure she will start taking it seriously when the letter hits the floor. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gladiator Posted October 24, 2011 Author Share Posted October 24, 2011 Made appointment with solicitor,to get the ball rolling with d Really did not want this,but what more can I do.She is living in dream land if she thinks this is a recon At least I tried,been totally clear,but that's what i've done throughout the m.Everything has revolved around her.Despite being wronged in the most terrible way it felt like I was the only one that wanted it to really work She may well want it,but in her own selfish,unique way and that can never be right I simply will not be there for her for the odd time she feels good about life,to be out in public as if all ok and a normal couple,then to have no home life or intimacy for weeks on end. I am focusing on me now and I have and will always be there for my kids.I know I can be treat much better than this Can't do it any more Link to post Share on other sites
Surfer203 Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 (edited) gladiator: I am in the same position as you right now. My wife after 10 months of being home after leaving me for 2 months told me she is done with our marriage and is no longer willing to try. I know the pain of trying to reconcile when the wife has other motives. It's really painful. At least the worst has been done to us already, this time around it's not so bad. I too am going to file for divorce and rid this cancer from my life finally. Good luck to you, if you ever need some support please send me a message. Edited October 24, 2011 by Surfer203 Link to post Share on other sites
Author gladiator Posted October 24, 2011 Author Share Posted October 24, 2011 Surfer In a way it does feel worse ,because from our pov we can see how good things can be,with effort from both sides.Then we get let down AGAIN! We believe in m and family,but some people are so utterly selfish it defies belief My w hasn't even came home.She is opting to stay put,she is in for a shock as I am sure she sees me as the reliable doormat that is always there when needed. There comes a point when it gets too much to take.I went for a walk last night alone and I actually started shouting out loud and felt like I was in a massive rage.Through the sheer frustraton and hurt that I have been through Thanks for the support,good luck to you also Link to post Share on other sites
Surfer203 Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 Hey man.. the yelling thing. That's good -you need to get it out of before it is directed at her or another human being. Exercise, punching bag, whatever it takes. I know exactly how you are feeling in terms of, with a little work how good the marriage COULD be. If these selfish women realized that in order for themselves to be happy they must think about others as well. Doing good deeds/making others happy is more gratifying than any self indulgent act they could choose to partake in. In my situation I had 3 months of bliss after she came home - followed by 10 months of stress, anger and not knowing what the hell was going on. You need to take the power now and take control of the direction of the marriage. So do I. Link to post Share on other sites
Surfer203 Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 In regards to feeling worse, I don't know -for me it feels painful but more like I finally have some closure. That part of it hurts immensely, to know that I will never a chance with her again hurts. I think it's for the better. We deserve women who will treasure us and love to be with us, not take us for granted. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 I can't help but think how much this poster sounds like Vanhandle and Nickster. hmmmmm. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gladiator Posted October 24, 2011 Author Share Posted October 24, 2011 Surfer: Maybe not worse,but the fact they can't grasp how fragile things are 2nd time around and that it requires total commitment.She has a "whatever" attitude,can't express emotions.Really quite childish to me and so negative at times,yet puts an act on to others You are so right,their are plenty out there who will actually WANT to be with us Link to post Share on other sites
Surfer203 Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 gladiator: Yeah.. just totally insensitive women who are only out for their own needs/benefit. It's a friggin' joke. I see it on here every day and I am sick of it. Time to break free and do our own thing - we deserve respect and joy in our lives. I have no worries that if you are a good person who is genuine and clearly men like us are because we are crying our eyes out on here fussing over our relationship - that there are tons of woman out there who would be thrilled to have men like that. Keep posting here and try to be positive even in the face of misery. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gladiator Posted October 25, 2011 Author Share Posted October 25, 2011 I can't help but think how much this poster sounds like Vanhandle and Nickster. hmmmmm. Very apt username for you if referring to me,never heard of them! Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 Very apt username for you if referring to me,never heard of them! Why do you feel insulted if you know nothing about those names. hmmmm. Link to post Share on other sites
toosoft Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 Im in a similar situation and within past few days have cut all non-essential contact. She'll be fine this week while OM is about, but once he goes back to work I bet the texts and emails will start. Makes me feel sick and its taken a while and some reading on this forum to realise ive been taken for a mug, her safety net. It is hard though, like someone else said, with effort from both sides, you just know it would be a good step closer to being solved. But sometimes things are just too far gone. Its sometimes easier and less harmful to buy a new glass than to try pick up the pieces of a broken one and stick it back together. Link to post Share on other sites
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