Brother's GF cheated on him - they're friends now?

[crossfitter]

They dated for ~2 years or so, and she f-ed a couple of different guys during the past 6 months. She lied to him about it first, then her EX called my brother and let him know what was what (showed some texts she sent, etc.) Anywho, he has, more or less, forgiven her and, though he says they'll never "be together" as far as a relationship goes, they still hang out and she visits him while he stays at our parents' house. As far as I can tell, he must have a considerably bigger heart than me, as I would've told the girl to go eat a bag of d!cks. /Louis CK

 

I've asked him why he even considers being around her, and he says that they still enjoy each others' company and that she's genuinely sorry ("no one else knows her better than I do"). While that may be the case, nothing is going to remove the memory of what she's done. He "wants to be friends" with her (she wants to get back together), but I think he's mainly just hanging on to the good stuff they had because he's desperate and doesn't have anyone else (or know how to enjoy his own life without someone in it; this girl was a rebound).

 

So finally, I respect that it's his decision to be around whoever the hell he wants, even if the rest of us shun the ever-loving ***** out of this girl when she's around us. If he's capable of forgiving and moving from something like that, more power to him. I just don't want to see him hurt yet again by this girl on down the road. If he's using her as a bridge to the next girl (which is hard when your cheating ex is hanging around) and just doesn't know it really, I guess that's what she deserves anyway. Anyone have any thoughts?

[rafallus]

Maybe he wants to treat her as source of easy sex until someone better comes along. If there were strong emotions before, it WILL end up ugly though.

[BeyondtheClouds]

You don't say how old they are. Some people do think in terms of networking. Maybe your brother feels that she is well connected and can introduce him to the kind of people he wants to meet. Are her friends hot? Does she hang out with the cool kids? Or if they are both working, do their careers overlap in some way?

[PegNosePete]

he must have a considerably bigger heart than me, as I would've told the girl to go eat a bag of d!cks.

Well a "bigger heart" is one way of putting it. I would put it rather differently, "smaller balls"!!

[crossfitter]

Maybe he wants to treat her as source of easy sex until someone better comes along. If there were strong emotions before, it WILL end up ugly though.

 

You don't say how old they are. Some people do think in terms of networking. Maybe your brother feels that she is well connected and can introduce him to the kind of people he wants to meet. Are her friends hot? Does she hang out with the cool kids? Or if they are both working, do their careers overlap in some way?

 

Thanks for responding, all. PegNose, yeah haha, I've fought back telling him to just "grow a pair."

 

rafallus, I was thinking the same thing until he started somewhat defending her. I can easily see this ending up ugly, which is why I've tried to talk him out of putting himself in this position.

 

BeyondtheClouds, my brother is 21 and his ex is 18 or 19, just graduated high school last Spring. I should've mentioned that before, especially since it seems as though he is lacking emotional maturity (seen it in other aspects, aside from this situation). As it is now, he's only ever dated high school girls, so that's a large part of the problem here. I'm hoping that he's just using her as a back-burner type thing, but it's obvious he's still emotionally attached. As far as I know, she has no real networking opportunities. He's actually starting class again, and looking for a job, so hopefully he won't have to worry about that for much longer.