Dejin Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 My topic might sound really stupid, but it's been on my mind a lot lately. My ex and I broke up months ago, ever since then I've had dreams of her (even last night!) Usually we arent doing anything spectacular, we're just together. Sometimes hugging, sometimes kissing. Sometimes laughing with eachother. She meant a lot to me, we were eachothers firsts' with just about everything... When I wake up after these dreams I think about them a lot, and it really messes with my head. Currently, my ex and I are hardly talking. We say we are 'friends', but it's more like we are aquaintances. And that's perfectly fine with me, it actually helps me handle things better when I stay away from her. My mindset about our breakup at this point is: It was a good thing, I'm doing a good job moving on, and it was for the best. Apparently my subconcious doesn't think so. Is this normal? Anyone else going through something like this? Link to post Share on other sites
LILUIL Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 I think its pretty normal. Dreams are after all made of what we think of in the day or course of the week. Ever notice how people get nightmares soon after watching a horror movie. Something to that effect. But it sure does sound like you are not fully "moving on" or "over her" Link to post Share on other sites
meanon Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 It sounds like you are sure you did the right thing, splitting up with her. You can't turn your feelings for someone off like a switch, your heart hasn't forgotten the good times. That doesn't mean you would be happy together. Your ex was an important part of your life. I think it's normal to dream about people who have played a significant role in your life. I do. Link to post Share on other sites
littlemissomg Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 This is completely natural - and it's good that you can recall the good times. When my ex cheated and we split I forgot the good times, still can't recall any of the cuddles or kisses (maybe my subconscious blocked them out)... it doesn't sound like you're over her yet but that's fine, there's no timescale to work to... you're getting there. You clearly cared about her a great deal so you can't wipe that away instantly Becc x Link to post Share on other sites
brashgal Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 Yes, I dream about my ex and he's been gone 10 months. The dreams are less frequent and less intimate than they used to be so hopefully this will happen for you too. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 i agree with meanon - it's perfectly natural to dream of people who were significant to you. i get sad when i remember dreaming of my ex, but i just remind myself that although things were good in these particular situations, it didn't work out overall, - that turns my head back to forward and on i go good luck, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
meanttolive4ever Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 i dream about my ex all the time...mostly about getting back together tho..the kissing and hugging Link to post Share on other sites
befuddled11 Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 I left (moved far away, to be safe) my abusive husband 11 yrs ago, we've been divorced for 10. Even though he was awful to me, he was probably the guy I've loved the most. For several years after I left him, and moved far away....I'd periodically have rather violent dreams, with him in them. A common one, it seems, was of him trying to strangle me....and my parents being in the next room..and I was trying to scream for help but I couldn't get enough air out to make a noise. These dreams would cause me to wake up in a cold sweat and I would not let myself go back to sleep because I was afraid I'd start dreaming about it again. Then as the years passed, a common theme of dream that involved him (he was a notorious cheater, too)....was him cheating on me. I'd have dreams that I'd be back at "our home" and I'd find women's "stuff" there....or I'd find pieces of paper with women's names and phone numbers....in those dreams, I was so sad. Some dreams would be that I'd fly back to our home town and drive to "our home"..only to sadly find he didn't live there anymore, and nobody knew where he'd gone to. Then over the past few years, the theme has been different. It's been that we meet again after many years.....and we reconcile......and on a few occasions, the dream will be about us "going back to being married".....and me feeling badly because I'd sold my wedding rings (which I really did a few years ago) and I was stressing out about that. In THESE dreams, he treats me good and I'm in love with him again. Kind of weird but interesting, I'd say. Ironically, I forgave him many years ago for what he put me through. About 4 yrs ago, I came across his listing at Classmates, and I wrote to him (after having had no contact with him for 6 yrs)...and I told him in writing that I forgave him, that I held no grudge, that he'd lost a good woman (me)..and that I wished him well in whatever he was doing with his life now...whether he was married again/had children. I didnt' want or expect any kind of response from him. I didn't write him as a way to "reconnect"..I just felt it necessary to complete my full healing, to tell him I forgave him. And I have never heard from him. He's really the only ex I've ever dreamed about. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dejin Posted May 8, 2004 Author Share Posted May 8, 2004 Goodness! Thanks for all your stories and replies.. It's good to hear that I'm not alone. And yeah you're all right, I'm not completely over her, but it seems to get better day by day, week by week. It just takes time, right? Link to post Share on other sites
meanttolive4ever Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 Originally posted by Dejin Goodness! Thanks for all your stories and replies.. It's good to hear that I'm not alone. And yeah you're all right, I'm not completely over her, but it seems to get better day by day, week by week. It just takes time, right? yes time heals everything usually...actually since i havent had any contact with my ex..i havent had any dreams about him or us...so just dont talk to them and u wont have to worry about dreaming about them Link to post Share on other sites
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