littlemissomg Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 Ok, I just realised in another post, I don't know if I'm an OW. I have kissed the guy, a bit more, not that much... I know he wants me, he knows I want him. There is that bond that I've heard of on here so much. But I am not, at this stage, having an affair with him. So, my question is, am I an OW? Does he cheat each time he speaks to me instead of ignoring me, or was the cheating just that night we kissed? Could it be that this is a EA because of that bond? Input appreciated!!! Becc x Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 You know, I don't mind giving advice to people who are having affairs. But adultery and betrayal should not become a college credit course. When people start coming here, describing their circumstances, and asking whether or now they are "the other woman" based on those specific circumstances, I get a little sick and I have to refer to my text on the subject. I'm really sorry. What difference does it make whether or not you are an OW if you're intent on getting to that point? What you're doing is wrong, in my opinion. Are you seeking a ribbon, commendation or certificate of some sort once you achieve OW status? Or is it that you are waiting until that point to go to confession? I'm way too old fashioned for this stuff. People take betrayal and spouse stealing so casually these days. It's damned scary to me! Link to post Share on other sites
Author littlemissomg Posted May 8, 2004 Author Share Posted May 8, 2004 Thanks for replying. I guess I just want to know if I'm doing anything wrong by speaking to him. We see each other often. Is the speaking a betrayal in itself after what we did? Becc x Link to post Share on other sites
reachingskywards Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 Hi I had the same questions before I started an affair with my MM (or should I say my xMM as we split last night - thank the lord). I think you're definitely an OW... if he'd doing something that he's not telling his wife about then that's enough for me. YOu want each other ... and by the sounds of it neither of you are going to do anything to stop it... I was in the same situation as you. We had a long lead up -- a very strong bond, very attracted to each other... it was overwhelming. We spent an amazing amount of time together. In the first months we spent 5 hours a night 5 nights a week with each other and texted and emailed and called when were weren't together or at work or wahtever. It's all heartache now of course. In the early days it was like I was the only woman he had ever loved. 5 months later and I know my place in the pack (second to the wife), all pictures he painted about life together are gone and he's planning to build another house for the wife 'I can't have her living in a dump'!! A word of advice -- Please don't do it. It's an awful thing to put yourself through. Once the guy gets you hooked things slowly start to change... and you can end up being very hurt. Please read the forums here... it's not a good situation to be in no matter who the guy is. it. Please walk away -- you could end up extreemly hurt like I have been, and many others. Sky Link to post Share on other sites
Author littlemissomg Posted May 8, 2004 Author Share Posted May 8, 2004 Thank you Sky I really don't know what to do... if I hadn't liked him for so long I would have walked away when I learnt he was engaged. And if all it was were his looks I would have walked away after the kiss... I see him every day so we can't avoid each other. Maybe if you have time you could read my other post "Is he a player?" Thanks Again, and I'm sorry that you had to go through so much pain in your situation Link to post Share on other sites
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