vanillacupcake Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 I am really hoping someone can help me with an outsider view. I am going out of my mind... I met this guy out of nowhere. Neither of us were looking for someone but we fell really hard, really fast. However, a lot of our downfall was very bad timing. I think he's healing from his last ex, 6 months ago, which really broke him apart. And I had some health issues which are resolved now. Anyway, things got messy very quickly (both our words). We didn't take the time out to be friends for and dove head first into a relationship. He wanted me to meet his family and everything. Fast forward to a couple weeks ago. I was being very push-pull because of said health issues and he saw it as me playing games. It wasn't intentional. He got fed up and wanted a break. Our break ended up being a breakup, then the break-up ended being friends, friends to seeing "where things go", then now we are in the air. He is very confused. When we first split, he cried a lot (even broke a table). During my week I had a very risky surgery, he started to become close with my best friend. The weekend I came home from the hospital, he was waiting for me at my door. I didn't want to speak, doing NC, and literally ran away. He chased me up my stairs (apartment building), twice, until I talked to him. He wanted to be friends and see where things go. One night, he wanted to meet my friends and I wasn't ready for him to do that yet. He saw that as playing games and he fought with me. During the past week, he still continues to talk with my best friend, for at least an hour, about me and our relationship. He told her during their last conversation a few days ago how he thinks we might have messed it up too much to go back and do it right. But then a few minutes later, he tells her how I am a great girl and worth the effort, but he is not sure if he is ready for a relationship at this time and needs to think. He checks my blog on a regular basis, some days a few times within a few hours (even when he's out, he'll check it on his cell phone). Last weekend, his best friend rang my bell at 4 am to see what I was up to, and it was obvious he was checking on me. His best friend stills talks about us like we're together, calling us lovebirds. His best friend also said my ex said I played "too many games", all the push-pull stuff I did before I had my risky surgery. It was a really stressful time for me. I texted my ex on Tuesday how he can't say I never tried, how he is worth the effort, that I am not pushing but giving him my all. I also said I want nothing but to make him happy and if he gives me the chance, I will treat him like gold. No response. So I removed him from my Facebook and did NC. I don't feel like its over, but maybe its wishful thinking. Both of us are extremely stubborn. Where should I go from here? What do I do? I've made it clear to him that we can fix this, get to know each other and go slow. That's all I want. And for the first time, I have been completely open with my feelings to show him I am serious. But I have yet to hear from him... though I am sure he is mad I took him off my Facebook page. He used my FB to keep up with what I was doing and to contact my best friend, which he can no longer do. Help! Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 What I like about this is you recognise the problems and know exactly what they are from the start. I think that's the best way - accepting there are issues that need resolving. Sadly the only way I see this working is if both you accept what's going on and talk about it - together and maybe with a counsellor. Getting to that point will be the hardest part though. Have you maybe thought about giving him an ultimatum - saying you want it to work, need to get things sorted, but if he won't, then you can't hang around waiting... I know it's risky, but what's the alternative? Link to post Share on other sites
Author vanillacupcake Posted September 9, 2011 Author Share Posted September 9, 2011 He knows I have a weird thing about exes -- I never get back together with them. I've told him I am not into doing that "on and off" thing. Just not interested. However, he did text me at 3 am last night, hoping my night was well. He texted me 4 days after NC. I wasn't going to text back, but I did an hour ago with a very quick and short reply. Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 I'm the same with ex's - once it's over, it's over. I think there's a chance there to sort this all out, but it all depends on communication and dealing with the problems. Time to move past the stubborn attitude you both have and decide what you both want. I really hope you can work it out, but be careful of causing yourself further hurt in the process. Link to post Share on other sites
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