nblue Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 SORRY THIS IS SO LONG!!! I'm in 10th grade and I'm average looking and dress very well. I can see some girls stare at me when I walk by. However, when I was in 6th-7th grade, I was very nerdy and had nerdy friends. When I was in 8th grade I learned by my more popular friends how to dress and how to act (I didn't change my old friends though). So I guess maybe now that I could probably get girls, I still think I have the fear of being Judged by the girls. If I'm in a group of people and my friends talk to the girls, then I have no problem. I have many guy friends (no homo) but I want to be able to have more female friends. People have told me "Just pretend they're guys" but that doesn't help me because I'm too scared to talk to them still. I don't know what to say to certain girls once I see them at school with they're friends. It would be weird If I said "hey" while a girl is with her friend. And then if I said that, what would I say after that? And what's the best way to start conversations with popular girls? Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 What you realized is that you have nothing prepared to talk about after you say "hey". So what you do is, find some things to talk about to the girls. Write down general fun subjects to talk about, whatever is current, and then memorize the list. Then when you actually walk up to the girls, you run through each subject and let the conversation flow. You might never even the other subjects once you get going. If you run into a pack of girls, you have to talk to them all at once, and then eventually start talking more to the girl you want, and then eventually pull her away from the group. Best bet is to ask some vapid teenage girl question that they'd all be interested in. "hey ladies, my friend has this girl texting him that he isnt interested anymore, how should he tell her?" They wont have an answer for that, but it will bring in an interesting discussion. and once you see the conversation starting to die down, even before you get solo time with the girl you want, get the hell outta there before it gets awkward. "Thanks ladies, Ill cya later, gotta go!" Leave them wanting more, they might flag you down the next day. You will get better at it the more you do it, but dont practice on the girls you really really like first, wait on them until you get a lil better at it. BTW the girls wont judge you about your past nerd life if youve totally changed your image to something they like, so dont worry about that. Link to post Share on other sites
AHardDaysNight Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 Beats me. I haven't a clue. Link to post Share on other sites
visualbasicide Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 Man I really wish I could explain this one to you. I really don't know what happened. One day I just stopped caring what people thought about me. I had my life on the track I wanted it to be on, I liked who I was and so did most everyone else, I stopped focusing on the negatives about myself and focused on the positives, which helped eliminate a lot of the negative things in the process. "I cant do this, that or the other" Ok, so go learn how, or find something else you like that you can do. The day you stop learning you die. You might be still walking around, but you rob yourself of life. Learning new skills, hobbies, things about yourself and others, all make you grow and the more you grow the more you will have to like about yourself. You will reach a point (hopefully) where your life is meeting it's potential and the rest of the things you worry about will seem moot. The whole thing is about self esteem, and you won't have any steam if you don't feed the fire. Learning about a variety of topics, regardless if you care about them or not, opens up opportunity for tons on conversation with a wide variety of people, you don't have to be an expert on any topic really but as they say: Knowledge is power; and it directly applies to every aspect of everyone's life. just a suggestion anyway, lol. take it or leave it. Link to post Share on other sites
unknownsources Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 Man I really wish I could explain this one to you. I really don't know what happened. One day I just stopped caring what people thought about me. I had my life on the track I wanted it to be on, I liked who I was and so did most everyone else, I stopped focusing on the negatives about myself and focused on the positives, which helped eliminate a lot of the negative things in the process. ... This ^^^ = confidence. Something I'm halfway towards. I know how you feel nblue, I'm in the same boat (although I kind of have trouble talking to everyone, male or female, I find it weird to just walk up and talk to people). I think when I reach a point where I'm more comfortable with who I am and how I look, I'll be able to just go for it. Probably what you need to do too. Even if you feel confident, it might be something in your subconscious. Link to post Share on other sites
Centaurus Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 The above is why people become musicians, so they can present a kick ass talent to a huge crowd without having to access those people individually. Imagine the love and adoration you'd get without having to develop social skills! *note, I am NOT a musician, just an awkward geek who happens to be a cunning linguist* Link to post Share on other sites
visualbasicide Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 The above is why people become musicians, so they can present a kick ass talent to a huge crowd without having to access those people individually. Imagine the love and adoration you'd get without having to develop social skills! *note, I am NOT a musician, just an awkward geek who happens to be a cunning linguist* lol maybe that is the concept. I just apply it on an individual level. I am also a cunning linguist, I prefer to say grammatical assassin but then again, humor is usually one of my stronger suits. Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 No, it's not weird at all for you to just go up and say 'hey.' It's a way to begin to break the ice and just follow it up just by talking to them, like you would anyone else. Remember, they're people too. If it doesn't go well the first time, try again later. But think positive-don't say you could probably get the girl, say you CAN and YOU WILL. Best of luck to you Link to post Share on other sites
MyT Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 You're in grade 10, you'll find in a few years - there's much more important things to care about If you do care though - stay trendy - just know about everything that happens - usually knowledge of niche groups or upcoming things make people fawn at you Link to post Share on other sites
unknownsources Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 You're in grade 10, you'll find in a few years - there's much more important things to care about If you do care though - stay trendy - just know about everything that happens - usually knowledge of niche groups or upcoming things make people fawn at you But don't go all "Quiz/Trivia" on em. I end up doing that, since I like factoids. Don't get me started about this past week in baseball Link to post Share on other sites
Calutaxi484 Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 In my everlasting quest to be more outgoing here's what worked for me... Basically start chit chatting with people wherever you go. People that HAVE to talk to you are a great way to start. Talk to your waitress, cashiers, the girl that works in the clothing store at the mall. Women are not just one of the guys (usually). Like most other things in life the more you practice the better you get. Think of this as the same thing. Practice talking to strangers, and eventually it'll get easier. Hopefully you'll be able to go from small talk to flirting, and it's not that huge of a jump. Being interesting and creative I think is the hardest part. Personally I like to mess with them a little bit. Like this past week at the bank the girl working there had an absurdly large necklace. I told her she needed to stop stealing her jewelry from flava flav. We both had a laugh about it, and that was it. Just have fun with it, and the more you do it the easier it'll get. Link to post Share on other sites
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