sonata Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 Ok, I met a guy from an on line dating site. We've been seeing each other for a month. No sex but lots of close cuddling. He suggests that maybe we move in together at my place because we spend so much time traveling back and forward to see each other. I found out he is still on the dating site I met him on and he posted a new picture of himself recently. While we don't have any commitment or plans to become more than bed partners, I don't think I should allow him to stay at my place while he is currently looking for someone else. I plan to talk to him later this week about these issues but was wondering if I am setting myself up to be a doormat. Sort of sounds like it now that I see this in writing. Link to post Share on other sites
yessy21 Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 HELLLLLLLLL NO. absolutley not. i met my bf on a dating site and he came almost everyday with no problem and finally stated that he wanted to be with me and he deleted it in front of me and made me do the same. is he worth it? ask yourself why is this guy single? i did that before i made any big decisions. Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 He is shopping for someone who will give him sex probably. So if you keep dating him at all, you will pretty much be a doormat. So dump him now, tell him he can shack up with someone new that he finds on the site. Link to post Share on other sites
yessy21 Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 he is shopping for someone who will give him sex probably. So if you keep dating him at all, you will pretty much be a doormat. So dump him now, tell him he can shack up with someone new that he finds on the site. amen to that^^^^^^ Link to post Share on other sites
Author sonata Posted September 9, 2011 Author Share Posted September 9, 2011 He is shopping for someone who will give him sex probably. So if you keep dating him at all, you will pretty much be a doormat. So dump him now, tell him he can shack up with someone new that he finds on the site. Fyi, sex is not the issue as HE is the one holding back for medical reasons. Link to post Share on other sites
yessy21 Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 u r not his first choice if he is still looking for options. and thats the only thing u should be thinking about. Link to post Share on other sites
Cee Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 This is messed up. This guy has a hidden agenda and your best bet is to run. This guy sounds like my ex husband. Do not give this man any money or the keys to your place. I don't know what game he's running - whether he's married or he wants money. But stay away. I promise you he will show his true colors eventually. And you don't want to be living with him when you see the horror. Him moving in is total insanity. Please talk to a friend if you aren't strong enough to stand up for yourself. A friend will help you be strong and remind you that you deserve much better. Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 Fyi, sex is not the issue as HE is the one holding back for medical reasons. Hehe, then youre even worse off, because he doesnt like you at ALL. And what guy holds back sex for medical reasons? Link to post Share on other sites
Author sonata Posted September 9, 2011 Author Share Posted September 9, 2011 Wow! I didn't realize there were so many angry, jaded people on this site. The level of animosity and suspicion is unbelievable! I am sorry you all have been burned so badly in the past but that is your problem. I was asking for a reasonable advice which I can see no one here can offer. Link to post Share on other sites
Professor X Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 Wow! I didn't realize there were so many angry, jaded people on this site. The level of animosity and suspicion is unbelievable! I am sorry you all have been burned so badly in the past but that is your problem. I was asking for a reasonable advice which I can see no one here can offer. http://www.myfacewhen.net/uploads/954-not-sure-if-serious.jpg Not sure if serious... But anyway, let's see now. A guy you met online, a month ago, wants to move in with you despite the fact the he's actually still searching for someone else (i.e. updating it). In other words, a stranger, that is not committed to you in any way shape or form wants to move in with you and you're not sure what to tell him? Rhetorical question much? I'll let you figure this one out on your own. Link to post Share on other sites
cdm369 Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 Did the online deal for a while myself....dated 3 different women....not at the same time....the one I really liked wouldn't give up the online dating so I ended it. If they refuse to quit the site after you then you must not be the one they are looking for...moving in? Sounds like wanting to have their cake and eat it too. Being a doormat sucks...the relationship is new...set boundaries with consequences NOW!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 Wow! I didn't realize there were so many angry, jaded people on this site. The level of animosity and suspicion is unbelievable! I am sorry you all have been burned so badly in the past but that is your problem. I was asking for a reasonable advice which I can see no one here can offer. With respect, the advice IS good, even if it's harsh. You shouldn't even be giving this idea a second thought, and I believe you KNOW this yourself. You've given a picture of a guy who is not very interested in you in any respect, who wants to move in with you; clearly to use you. I think you should be feeling angry at and insulted by this guy, rather than the people who have responded to your post. And get rid of the jerk! Link to post Share on other sites
country_gurl Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 Wow! I didn't realize there were so many angry, jaded people on this site. The level of animosity and suspicion is unbelievable! I am sorry you all have been burned so badly in the past but that is your problem. I was asking for a reasonable advice which I can see no one here can offer. LMAO! Perhaps next time you turn to a FREE forum for relationship advice, you should simply tell us right off the bat what you want to hear so that we can formulate our responses accordingly! It's incredible to me that a woman would continue to give the time of day to a man she met on a dating site who, after ONE MONTH, has suggested he move in with her. If you don't see that for the huge red flag that it is, I'm sorry but I don't think anyone here can really give you the help that you need. And by the way, YOU are the one who has expressed concern about the fact that while he's suggesting you 2 shack up, that he not only STILL has a dating profile but has gone so far as to upload a new picture of himself in his profile. So obviously this concerns you, and it should. If any virtual stranger that I'd known for only 1 month had the audacity to suggest he move in with me, he'd be blocked ASAP. That is surely not what you would expect from a stable, independent man who has anything other than ulterior motives. Why don't you let him shack up with you. Maybe pay his way as well. When he spends his days, while you're at work to support the both of you and he's sitting there at home at your computer in his underwear chatting it up with the other ladies on the dating site, then you can come back here and ask if you're being used and taken advantage of. *rolling eyes* Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts