betterdeal Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 (edited) I don't get what your "point" is, Woggle, and I don't think you do either. Your subconscious is you. It's not an inconvenient evolutionary leftover like an appendix. But you seem to treat it that way, or are afraid of it. It's also called the "inner child" and it's where your feelings originate. I wonder if you don't like the idea of yourself being child-like inside? We all are, inside, at our core. What we say to that inner-child affects how it feels. Rationally, you're safe now, right? The people who hurt you have no real control over you now, right? Even women who do bad things currently cannot hurt you because you're a grown man and you don't live with them, do you? So you can begin to let that child out, nourish it, get to know it and let it grow. Get used to not being in conflict with women. I understand how the familiar is reassuring in a way. I spent years in debt, eventually paid it all off and then ran it all up again, and the feeling of being in debt is familiar whilst the feeling of having money made me uncomfortable. I suspect you feel the same way about being berated by women. But wouldn't it be better to not be in conflict with women as a matter of course? To do that will take getting over your fears, changing your habits and being ready for and embracing big changes like that. You might like to consider hypnotherapy to help you bring that child out, to help start clearing some of the fears and misunderstandings you have. It helped me a lot. Edited September 14, 2011 by betterdeal Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 Wog, you truly have a low opinion of women if you believe these things. You must think we are idiots, on the whole. there are women here that would say yes to at least one if not all of the 3 questions. there would be men that would be the same. the world is filled with people that deserve to be alone. Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 You must think we are idiots, on the whole. That's exactly what he thinks, from what I can work out. At least that's what he's constantly telling us. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted September 14, 2011 Author Share Posted September 14, 2011 I don't believe you are all idiots. Most of you who responded in this thread are not. Of all the things I have posted for some reason this one really got under people's skin. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 Speaking for myself, it was the third question that got under my skin. Do your friends ever make fun of you because you are faithful? Do they ever call you a stepford wife because you don't cheat on your husband? Ok, whatever, you want to know if there is broad social pressure to cheat. Basically, are your friends jerks? Answer: no. Do you look at women who cheat and get envious because they are having all the fun? Now you are just asking if I am an idiot. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted September 14, 2011 Author Share Posted September 14, 2011 I posted this thread after being told deep down my current wife envies women like my ex because they got to have all the fun while she is a stepford doormat. Most cheating women I have seen say women envy them so I wanted to ask the question. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 I posted this thread after being told deep down my current wife envies women like my ex because they got to have all the fun while she is a stepford doormat. Most cheating women I have seen say women envy them so I wanted to ask the question. Most people, in general, who walk around saying that people envy them are wrong. That's really middle school mentality--bragging, and believing that others are envious, to boost your own self image. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted September 14, 2011 Author Share Posted September 14, 2011 This is true. I just don't realize why of all the things I posted this touched such a nerve. Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 This is true. I just don't realize why of all the things I posted this touched such a nerve. Well, to me personally, it wasn't the content of this thread in particular. But I reached a saturation point in terms of being addressed as (invariably) stupid, unfaithful, deceptive, dishonest, whatever, just on the basis of my gender. I find it abusive and offensive when it occurs on a repetitive basis. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted September 14, 2011 Author Share Posted September 14, 2011 I have a theory that I am actually afraid if finally putting this to rest because after that what comes next? My gender issues have become such a part of me that I don't know what I would do without it. It's like a sick security blanket. Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 I have a theory that I am actually afraid if finally putting this to rest because after that what comes next? My gender issues have become such a part of me that I don't know what I would do without it. It's like a sick security blanket. Imagine the freedom and liberation you might feel. All the released energy that you could invest into your marriage and your wonderful wife. I think it would be a wonderful relief and a great opportunity. I hope you get to experience it Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted September 14, 2011 Author Share Posted September 14, 2011 Imagine the freedom and liberation you might feel. All the released energy that you could invest into your marriage and your wonderful wife. I think it would be a wonderful relief and a great opportunity. I hope you get to experience it You are right. If I put this much energy into opening up a business or something I would probably be a millionare by now. I am sorry if I made you feel insulted but it is honestly not my intention to insult every woman with my posts. You see posts that ask why do men do this and that and I find them much less offensive than the women who see nothing wrong with treating a man like crap. Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 You are right. If I put this much energy into opening up a business or something I would probably be a millionare by now. I am sorry if I made you feel insulted but it is honestly not my intention to insult every woman with my posts. You see posts that ask why do men do this and that and I find them much less offensive than the women who see nothing wrong with treating a man like crap. Thanks, woggle, I know it's not your intention, and I never thought it was. The 'aren't any men capable of loving' threads are equally offensive. I find those categorical approaches to life (all blacks are, all men/women are, all buddhists are, whatever) so denigrating to human dignity. I also find people who treat each other like crap offensive. But I refuse to make unwarranted generalisations on that basis. I know plenty of men who have cheated, women who have been raped and subjected to domestic abuse, etc etc - why should I judge you (or any other random man) because of it? It would, needless to say, be extremely unfair to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted September 14, 2011 Author Share Posted September 14, 2011 Thanks, woggle, I know it's not your intention, and I never thought it was. The 'aren't any men capable of loving' threads are equally offensive. I find those categorical approaches to life (all blacks are, all men/women are, all buddhists are, whatever) so denigrating to human dignity. I also find people who treat each other like crap offensive. But I refuse to make unwarranted generalisations on that basis. I know plenty of men who have cheated, women who have been raped and subjected to domestic abuse, etc etc - why should I judge you (or any other random man) because of it? It would, needless to say, be extremely unfair to you. You are right. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 I posted this thread after being told deep down my current wife envies women like my ex because they got to have all the fun while she is a stepford doormat. Most cheating women I have seen say women envy them so I wanted to ask the question. what?? Your wife actually said this?? Did you respond with "oh really??" not only did your wife indicate she has a cheating heart, she insulted you by envying your ex cheating wife. wtf wogs?? Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 what?? Your wife actually said this?? Did you respond with "oh really??" not only did your wife indicate she has a cheating heart, she insulted you by envying your ex cheating wife. wtf wogs?? His wife didn't say it. Someone said it about his wife. And they were wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 Wogs, get specific, if you already haven't. Who told you that about your wife? Was it your mother? I didn't follow the thread so it may have already been covered. Your discourse here indicates to me that your therapy is having steady but slow progress. Best wishes for that to continue. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 His wife didn't say it. Someone said it about his wife. And they were wrong. oh, was this in some other thread or something? Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 oh, was this in some other thread or something? This thread's a bit too long for me to go and dig up the info, but it's been stated. The problem is not with his wife. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted September 15, 2011 Author Share Posted September 15, 2011 It was my mother who said that deep down my wife envies my ex because she got to have the fun. I also used to work with two cheating women who said that every woman deep down envied them for having the guts to live free. Also I really need to stop looking at the comments on Daily Mail because it draws misandrists like flies. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 You have never been told any of those things? I have been around a few women who thought that faithful women were stupid stepford wives. No to all 3 for me. Your post makes me wonder if someone said Yes to any of those if it was because they were whoring themselves around, felt guilty, and tried to make themselves feel better by belittling those who ARE what the guilty woman WANTS to be. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 It was my mother who said that deep down my wife envies my ex because she got to have the fun. why would she say this? did she have a discussion with your wife? I went back and read some of your posts. sorry what has happened in the past. I read where you think your wife is one of the good ones, but that certain things leave you wondering and guarded. Has your wife done or said anything that might make you not so comfortable? Link to post Share on other sites
Mutant Debutante Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 Nofool, his mom says that **** because his mom is bat**** insane, damaged, toxic and abusive. Woggle is uncomfortable with ALL women and doesn't trust his wife because of HIS issues. Maybe you can go read more of his posts before you keep feeding his insecurities? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted September 15, 2011 Author Share Posted September 15, 2011 Nofool, his mom says that **** because his mom is bat**** insane, damaged, toxic and abusive. Woggle is uncomfortable with ALL women and doesn't trust his wife because of HIS issues. Maybe you can go read more of his posts before you keep feeding his insecurities? True. My mom is an example of what happens to a person when the let their bitterness consume them. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 Nofool, his mom says that **** because his mom is bat**** insane, damaged, toxic and abusive. really? or is it because her son has had a bad streak of worthless women to deal with and now thinks no woman is good enough for him? I know if my son can't seem to find a faithful woman, I'd meet any one of his suitors with skepticism. It goes from trusting them from the get go, to they have to earn the trust. Woggle is uncomfortable with ALL women and doesn't trust his wife because of HIS issues. Maybe you can go read more of his posts before you keep feeding his insecurities? based on what I've read, I can't blame him for the way he feels. I can't say I haven't felt the same as him at one point. I can tell him that there are good women out there, and from what I've read his wife seems to be one. but I'm not going to blame him or jump him for being gunshy when it comes to women and relationships. You want to blame someone? blame the women that treated him like dog crap. Link to post Share on other sites
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