Exboyfriend :(

[Emmalynn]

My ex and I dated for 4 months, and before that we had a thing for a month and a half. He just turned 18 and i'm 17 we both go to different high schools but live in the same city. We broke up exactly two weeks ago and have few contact but we still get brought up towards eachother daily. He stills shows jealousy when other guys try to talk to me (facebook or such) and questions who they are ect .

 

Basically he broke up with me cause of insecurity issues, he didn't like being the jealous/protective/controlling boyfriend and felt like he was holding me back/ getting in the way of friendships, even though I made it clear that it wasn't even close to anything like that. The night of the break up he asked what I was doing then never replied, 2 nights after that he went to 2 parties that I was also invited to but I never went because partying was the last thing on my mind. Meanwhile at those parties his friends said he looked like he wasn't having a good time and talked to my bestfriend about what happened from his perspective. After the 3rd day I decided to get my mind off the whole situation by going to one of my other bestfriends birthday fire which was just a gathering between my close group friends, he texted me that night asking if I was at a party, freaked out/got jealous and hypocritical. He ended up calling one of his guy friends that i'm mutal friends with and asked where the party was ect. The day after he called the same guy friend in which the conversation was leading up to me again, and he told him that he missed me. The night after that he told his friend again that he was done with me and said I was "used up" which is ironic because i'm not even anything close to that and he even knows that. A week after the break up one of his friends that I knew before him was talking to me, about the situation but it was so obvious that he was with my ex cause they are always together, they were constantly asking what my plans were for the weekend, how I was doing, what was new, what actually happened ect. That same night, I ended up going to another fire but this time my ex and his friends showed up, he kept an eye on me. He ended up coming up to me though and asking what I did today, how was I. After he left he texted me again, asking why this one kid that goes to his school was talking to me, then repeatedly called me and showed up at my house later that night. It was awkward because he purposely cuddled/flirted/kissed me I didn't let it get any further, cause there was still some unresolved tension between us. He texted me a couple days after i greeted him happy birthday and was curious to see if i was going on grad trip (we`re both not going) after that we stopped talking again. Later that night at around 1 in the morning I get a 9 page text message about his thoughts.

 

Which said: he was really sorry for coming over the other night and kissing me, he didn't want me to get the wrong impression, he said I was amazing and wish he could commit with me but he can't right now, he did really like me alot and even though he still does have strong feelings for me he`s scared cause he doesn`t want to hurt me and lead me onto the impression we could of been more. He can`t date me again as of right now and just wants to be friends, but in the future maybe. He admitted he is extremely scared of commitment cause he`s been screwed over so many times and gets scared when people express it towards him because he doesn`t wanna let me down or dissapoint me. Anyways I replied my thoughts on his as well, but never got a reply. I`m guessing he either got it and didn`t know what to say or he never got my message since my phone has been messed lately. A day or two after that he texted me during class asking if i had a thing with someone else right now and sent it multiple duplicates of the message, I responded no I don`t why? he said he was just wondering and was basically the end of the conversation I havent talked to him since.

 

But last night his friend told me that I shouldn`t hold back or think anything of it cause my ex told him that this other girl was going over tonight to hangout which is surprising because I know her and i'm somewhat friends with her. It was obvious that they were hanging out too, he did the same things as he did to me when we first started to talk, for example he took my phone and wrote/commented on that guy friends wall thinking itd be funny, which he did the same thing with her on facebook, cause he knew I was up. I know I shouldnt be bothered by this but it still does get to me a little, and I don`t know my emotions are mixed from i`m okay to yeah i`m kidding myself.

 

I know this sounds pathetic but i`m just confused and need honest advice please!!

 

Oh and even while we were dating whenever me and my ex got into fights they were usually over him becoming insecure and jealous, but all his friends just said he was only like that because he really cared and loved me even though he never said he did. :S

Edited September 10, 2011 by Emmalynn

[allizi91]

I haven't dated anyone like that before but a lot of my friends have. So I'm going to say what I said to them, to you. Let it go, it isn't worth feeling upset about. He obviously doesn't care about sending you mixed signals and messing with your emotions. What you need is a night out with girls and definitely start talking to some hot guys. You don't need to try to get into a relationship right now, just have fun. Flirt a little. You don't need to flaunt that you talked to some cute guys but just let that "loser" see that he didn't get you down and that you really don't care if he starts seeing another girl. Most of all, don't fall back into his arms. It sounds like a major case of male stupidity.

[Vanessa-Anne]

I would ignore EVERYTHING he does and says. They HATE that. Sounds like he enjoys messing with your poor head. I ignored my boyfriend when we broke up for a whole month. I soon got 32 missed calls, a pauls boutique bag and a crying guy on his knees on my doorstep. Now he always thinks twice before messing with me