Exboyfriend :(

[Emmalynn]

My ex and I dated for 4 months, and before that we had a thing for a month and a half. He just turned 18 and i'm 17 we both go to different high schools but live in the same city. We broke up exactly two weeks ago and have few contact but we still get brought up towards eachother daily. He stills shows jealousy when other guys try to talk to me (facebook or such) and questions who they are ect .

 

Basically he broke up with me cause of insecurity issues, he didn't like being the jealous/protective/controlling boyfriend and felt like he was holding me back/ getting in the way of friendships, even though I made it clear that it wasn't even close to anything like that. The night of the break up he asked what I was doing then never replied, 2 nights after that he went to 2 parties that I was also invited to but I never went because partying was the last thing on my mind. Meanwhile at those parties his friends said he looked like he wasn't having a good time and talked to my bestfriend about what happened from his perspective. After the 3rd day I decided to get my mind off the whole situation by going to one of my other bestfriends birthday fire which was just a gathering between my close group friends, he texted me that night asking if I was at a party, freaked out/got jealous and hypocritical. He ended up calling one of his guy friends that i'm mutal friends with and asked where the party was ect. The day after he called the same guy friend in which the conversation was leading up to me again, and he told him that he missed me. The night after that he told his friend again that he was done with me and said I was "used up" which is ironic because i'm not even anything close to that and he even knows that. A week after the break up one of his friends that I knew before him was talking to me, about the situation but it was so obvious that he was with my ex cause they are always together, they were constantly asking what my plans were for the weekend, how I was doing, what was new, what actually happened ect. That same night, I ended up going to another fire but this time my ex and his friends showed up, he kept an eye on me. He ended up coming up to me though and asking what I did today, how was I. After he left he texted me again, asking why this one kid that goes to his school was talking to me, then repeatedly called me and showed up at my house later that night. It was awkward because he purposely cuddled/flirted/kissed me I didn't let it get any further, cause there was still some unresolved tension between us. He texted me a couple days after i greeted him happy birthday and was curious to see if i was going on grad trip (we`re both not going) after that we stopped talking again. Later that night at around 1 in the morning I get a 9 page text message about his thoughts.

 

Which said: he was really sorry for coming over the other night and kissing me, he didn't want me to get the wrong impression, he said I was amazing and wish he could commit with me but he can't right now, he did really like me alot and even though he still does have strong feelings for me he`s scared cause he doesn`t want to hurt me and lead me onto the impression we could of been more. He can`t date me again as of right now and just wants to be friends, but in the future maybe. He admitted he is extremely scared of commitment cause he`s been screwed over so many times and gets scared when people express it towards him because he doesn`t wanna let me down or dissapoint me. Anyways I replied my thoughts on his as well, but never got a reply. I`m guessing he either got it and didn`t know what to say or he never got my message since my phone has been messed lately. A day or two after that he texted me during class asking if i had a thing with someone else right now and sent it multiple duplicates of the message, I responded no I don`t why? he said he was just wondering and was basically the end of the conversation I havent talked to him since.

 

But last night his friend told me that I shouldn`t hold back or think anything of it cause my ex told him that this other girl was going over tonight to hangout which is surprising because I know her and i'm somewhat friends with her. It was obvious that they were hanging out too, he did the same things as he did to me when we first started to talk, for example he took my phone and wrote/commented on that guy friends wall thinking itd be funny, which he did the same thing with her on facebook, cause he knew I was up. I know I shouldnt be bothered by this but it still does get to me a little, and I don`t know my emotions are mixed from i`m okay to yeah i`m kidding myself.

 

I know this sounds pathetic but i`m just confused and need honest advice please.

 

Oh and even while we were dating whenever me and my ex got into fights they were usually over him becoming insecure and jealous, but all his friends just said he was only like that because he really cared and loved me even though he never said he did. :S

[loveletters]

When I was your age my exbf did the same thing. All he wanted to do was break up, get back together, break up, etc. He was very controlling and jealous and especially since he was 2 years older then me and left our high school before me, he constantly questioned who I was with, who I was talking to, and had his friends keep an eye on me.

 

 

I say get over him and don't talk to him anymore. Ignore his texts & delete him off of facebook to show that YOU'RE not the weak one. Don't answer his questions about where you've been and with who, it's none of his business & it's none of his friends business either! The longer you let him control you like this, the worse you're making it on yourself. He's jealous and insecure and that could lead to other things.

 

If you guys did end up staying together, as I did with my ex for 8 years, that jealousy could turn into domestic violence. 5 years from now, this guy will be a vague memory of the past. I know it hurts right now and you need to talk about it, but 4 months isn't very long at all, which is good because the easier it will be to forget about him

 

Also, you should cut contact with your so-called friend, the current girl he's talking to. That way you wont have to see them together & feel even more down about it.

[purplepanda]

I completely agree with loveletters!!

I wish I ignored my ex who loved to do just what your ex is doing to you...

we dated six months and all he wanted to do was keep me around in case no one better (to HIM) comes along. He acted jealous and insecure about me being around my guy friends, etc, and at first it was flattering. I'm sure you're flattered...right?

Wrong. It's a control thing. HE wants control. Let go asap!!!

That was 2 years ago with MY ex....he still makes me feel miserable.

No matter what he says to you, even if he says Those girls aren't like you..blahblahblah. Ignore him. Block him. Ignore his friends. There is no potential healthy relationship here. Please...just let him go. I promise you. The moment you forget about him, you'll find someone new.