dazednconfuzed Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 2 months ago I met and started seeing a girl (she was my first love.) Everything was cool ... we had hot sex, we were affectionate with each other, we had fun together until the going got tough for her. Health problems, an untimely death of a close relative, stomach ulcers and a stressful job change sent her reeling and one weekend she called to tell me she wasn't ready for a gf and that all she wanted right now were friends, some space, and to get her life in order. I was stunned, but tried to be understanding and give her the space she needed. She would call me almost every night just to say hi, but I wouldn't call or hassle her. Then I realized our conversations were always centered around her other "friend" and they were hurting and angering me. This other friend ... "Susie" had just been dumped by her gf and now she needed my ex to help her cope. My ex felt it was her obligation as a friend to help "Susie" get over her loss. Every night, we would argue. I would tell her to stop fooling herself and just admit that she wanted this "Susie" and then my ex would get mad at me and reiterate that she only wanted friends. Eventually, "Susie" got over her ex and suddenly became my ex's best buddy. My ex would tell me ... "Oh, everybody thinks me and "Susie" are going out ... blah, blah, blah. We talk like an old married couple blah blah." Night after night, listening to my ex chat about this business was really eating at me, and hurting me. I tried to end our friendship but my ex would get upset. Finally she did something that pushed me over the edge. She forgot my B-DAY. Deep down, I knew she would. She did end up calling me that day ... just to chit-chat and I casually let her know it was my B-DAY and she felt bad. She was over that night with a dozen roses and an apology for not being there. I basically told her it was too little too late and asked her to leave. The soap opera didn't end there ... she called me the following evening and we argued. She said she had cared about me and asked me why I was so angry. I told her she was a lousy friend and that I didn't want to talk anymore. She started to say, "How about you? You never call me ... I always call you. Would you really throw away our friendship?" We hung up. I messaged her ... "I didn't call you cuz I wanted to let you go. Take Care of yourself." It has been 2 weeks and we haven't spoken. I know I needed time away from her to heal, but have I lost my friend for good? Was she a friend worth keeping?? Link to post Share on other sites
chrissy65 Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 The only advice I have for you is to ask yourself this: "Would I be happy for my ex if they got a new significant other?" If your answer is yes then by all means you should be friends, if not then your reasons for being their "friend" might not be because you want to be their friend but rather in hopes you two will get back together. That's just my view, hope it helps! Link to post Share on other sites
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