SugarHoney Posted September 10, 2011 Share Posted September 10, 2011 So I haven't had any contact with my ex for nearly 2 months now and I think maybe all the pain and heartbreak resulting from this break up still hasn't fully sunken in. Lately I've been feeling really inadequate, as from my perspective it seems indisputable that my ex dumped me because I wasn't good enough of a girlfriend for him Many people have tried to convince me that this is not true and for awhile I believe them or at least accept that we were simply incompatible and it wasn't solely my fault, but I always seem to go back to feeling inadequate. And now I feel really guilty too, as I went NC on my ex and he wanted to be friends before I told him it was too painful to be friends until my heart healed but now he is completely ignoring me it seems and that cuts even deeper. I keep trying to move on and make the most of my life and enjoy every day best I can etc, but every day just seems kind of empty without him in my life. I miss him so much. I don't know if we could ever get back together now even if he wanted me back, because of all the pain he put me through, but I feel like I still love him a lot, however much I try to deny it to myself and move on and distract myself with a million and one things. Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 Hi SugarHoney, First off, no one should ever try to be friends with their ex right away. It prevents you from healing. You are doing the right thing by having NC. Secondly, why do you feel that the breakup is your fault and that you are inadequate? You are grieving, and taking it out on yourself might be the only way that your mind can make sense of it right now. This will pass as you continue healing. We all have some ownership in failed relationships because we all make mistakes, but don't carry his share of the blame too, ok? If you're feeling low about yourself, try to get involved in things. Just stay busy. I always strongly recommend doing any type of exercise on a regular basis. You sound like a very insightful and caring person Link to post Share on other sites
jenjen83 Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 Wow I could have written that opening post. I know exactly how you feel but by doing NC we are healing even if we don't feel like we are. I keep thinking that I wasn't pretty enough for my ex boyfriend but he must have seen something in me to go out with me and the same applies to you. Try not to worry about your ex..by dumping you he did what he felt was in his best interests so you do what is in yours. Link to post Share on other sites
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