nick23 Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 (edited) So my girlfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. We have been dating for almost a year and we are in love. The other night she got extremely drunk with some friends in her dorm and says that one of the guys who was also drunk kissed her. They were laying down next to each other when it happened. They have been friends and she said she had no idea she was leading him on. She tried to call me early the next morning to explain what happened but I was asleep. She says it wont happen again and I believe her but I feel betrayed and don't know if we should take a break cause we're in college and stuff like this happens all the time at universities. I want to keep the relationship but being at separate colleges makes it extremely difficult. Edited September 11, 2011 by nick23 more of the story Link to post Share on other sites
Ginger Beer Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 So my girlfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. We have been dating for almost a year and we are in love. The other night she got extremely drunk with some friends in her dorm and says that one of the guys who was also drunk kissed her. They were laying down next to each other when it happened. They have been friends and she said she had no idea she was leading him on. She tried to call me early the next morning to explain what happened but I was asleep. She says it wont happen again and I believe her but I feel betrayed and don't know if we should take a break cause we're in college and stuff like this happens all the time at universities. I want to keep the relationship but being at separate colleges makes it extremely difficult. She knew exactly what she was doing. It's a LDR, she was drunk and lying down with a 'friend' and he tried to kiss her? I'd end it. Link to post Share on other sites
rafallus Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 A core reason as to why very few LDRs work. She showed you, she lacks self-discipline to behave when you're not around. Up to you, what you'll do with that. Link to post Share on other sites
MusicMan1234 Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 My bet is she's telling a half-truth and they did more than just kiss.. It's up to you but i'd drop her like a bag of s**t. Link to post Share on other sites
Ginger Beer Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 My bet is she's telling a half-truth and they did more than just kiss.. It's up to you but i'd drop her like a bag of s**t. I thought that too but if she told him straight away? I dunno. Because usually when a cheater tells their SO straight away it's damage limitation because someone they both know, also knows. But the OP doesn't mention him knowing any of her friends or any of her friends being there when the kiss happened. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nick23 Posted September 12, 2011 Author Share Posted September 12, 2011 But the OP doesn't mention him knowing any of her friends or any of her friends being there when the kiss happened. I do not know any of her friends there and she said only her and the guy know about the kiss happening. She wanted me to know about it right after it occurred as she tried calling me at 4:00 in the morning of that night. Link to post Share on other sites
madjac74 Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 I do not know any of her friends there and she said only her and the guy know about the kiss happening. She wanted me to know about it right after it occurred as she tried calling me at 4:00 in the morning of that night. She is testing you to see how mad you would get. Use your brain against her...ask her if she liked it and wants to be more intimate with him. Say some crap like you understand the long distance is hard and you need physical attention. She will probably admit to it being more than a friendship. I have many female friends and we don't lay down next to each other. Even if they didn't kiss I would be pissed just for that reason. Link to post Share on other sites
Ginger Beer Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 She is testing you to see how mad you would get. Use your brain against her...ask her if she liked it and wants to be more intimate with him. Say some crap like you understand the long distance is hard and you need physical attention. She will probably admit to it being more than a friendship. I have many female friends and we don't lay down next to each other. Even if they didn't kiss I would be pissed just for that reason. This is a good idea but only if he wants to know. Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 she said only her and the guy know about the kiss happening. She wanted me to know about it right after it occurred as she tried calling me at 4:00 in the morning of that night. So she was in bed with this guy alone, (no one else knew about it), at 4 AM & they've both been drinking. You have to ask yourself; what is her motive for telling you? Maybe you should ask dad how many times this has happened between him & mom? Come on, wake up & smell the coffee. Link to post Share on other sites
madjac74 Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 This is a good idea but only if he wants to know. I'm not so sure he does because he is making excuses for her. "this stuff happens at universities all the time" or "she was extremely drunk". He probably isn't going to assert himself which is why she will probably be laying next to another "friend" in the near future. Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 The, "extremely drunk" excuse doesn't work when you run into the back of a police cruiser but we think it's a completely viable excuse for all other acts of stupidity, why? Link to post Share on other sites
madjac74 Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 The, "extremely drunk" excuse doesn't work when you run into the back of a police cruiser but we think it's a completely viable excuse for all other acts of stupidity, why? Haha true! It doesn't hold weight for any criminal defense. But for some reason cheating is not a crime. Link to post Share on other sites
rafallus Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 This is a good idea but only if he wants to know. Why not? He can toy with her mentally. Like: "He must be so hot. You want his dick so badly, don't you?" Basically, it's like you put fake act that she's doing nothing wrong at all, you understand, blablabla, and that gets her to confess more than you would usually get. Link to post Share on other sites
madjac74 Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 Why not? He can toy with her mentally. Like: "He must be so hot. You want his dick so badly, don't you?" Basically, it's like you put fake act that she's doing nothing wrong at all, you understand, blablabla, and that gets her to confess more than you would usually get. We think alike. Scary! Girls want the usual for the guy to get pissed and then in a fit of "I'll show him" go back to the same guy! I prefer to throw them a curveball Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 Cheaters will only tell you the bare minimum to make it sound less than what it truely is. But, let's look at the situation. She alone, in the room, IN BED with this guy and all they did was kiss? Right.....I have ocean side property I can sell you in the middle of the Mojave Desert. Link to post Share on other sites
make me believe Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 You are young and in college. Why even waste time having a long distance relationship, particularly with someone who isn't being faithful to you? And btw, stuff like this doesn't happen "all the time in universities" when the people involved are committed to the relationship.. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 This won't work for you. Listen to us here, you need to get stop with this girl and get someone in your own college. You have this girl far from you and she's out fooling around getting wasted drunk and then someone kisses her she has the nerve to say it won't happen again. Yeah right! Come on wake up guy! Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 Date someone who drinks less. Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 btw, stuff like this doesn't happen "all the time in universities" when the people involved are committed to the relationship.. Excellent point. Statements like; 'it happens all of the time' & 'she was drunk' are poor excuses for bad behavior. Your young & in college, as CARHILL said, 'find someone who doesn't drink as much' & while your at it find someone who doesn't find themselves alone, in bed at 4 AM with other men & go from there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nick23 Posted September 13, 2011 Author Share Posted September 13, 2011 Thanks everyone for your replies and suggestions. Just wanted to close by saying we ended the relationship mutually. It was hard, but hey life goes on. Peace Nick23 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 Thanks for the update. Good luck in your future pursuits Link to post Share on other sites
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