durkadurka Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 Normally my posts are pretty long winded but I can make this one really short. When I was in New York over the summer, my ex called me completely cathartic saying how she wasn't over me, missed how much fun we had, that we were great together and that she was still really attracted to me. Foolishly, I suggested she come to New York, so we could discuss things and see whether we could come to some sorta... "solution" for lack of a better word. After a few days, and chronically ducking the answer, she finally said she couldn't for a list of other reasons including being busy with work, seeing someone, etc etc. Okay whatever. Today, my brother messages me on Facebook saying my ex is in Toronto. There's only one reason why she could be there. To visit the guy she dated before me (almost 5 years ago). Sure enough, it seems that is the case. Unreal, the girl is pathological. To think she was asking me to be friends. Some people just don't see how badly they treat other people. It wasn't so bad that she was there seeing him, it was that it perfectly framed why I can't be friends with her, yet she continuously blames me for it being hard. Girl, it isn't hard, I just don't take being treated poorly.
Nohbody Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 People are selfish. Some people are so selfish they don't care who they hurt so long as they can satisfy their immediate want. Tell friends and family you don't need to know about her happenings, don't want to know.
Feelin Frisky Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 She's all about herself. I can totally ID. You're an impulse.
Author durkadurka Posted September 11, 2011 Author Posted September 11, 2011 (edited) She's all about herself. I can totally ID. You're an impulse. Yeah it made me realize that all of us guys that she's dated are easily substitutable for the others. Like I said, it's not so much that she is in Toronto that bugs me, it's that she fed me a bunch of bull**** which clearly was a lie. Last night was a real watershed moment, because it was the first time that I've been able to frame and say: this is exactly what's wrong, exactly why I can't be friends with her. In a sense, I've been looking for a mea culpa at least and I've realized I'll never get it. I'd also be lying if I said in my anger I didn't cry. Edited September 11, 2011 by durkadurka
Feelin Frisky Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 Yeah it made me realize that all of us guys that she's dated are easily substitutable for the others. Like I said, it's not so much that she is in Toronto that bugs me, it's that she fed me a bunch of bull**** which clearly was a lie. Last night was a real watershed moment, because it was the first time that I've been able to frame and say: this is exactly what's wrong, exactly why I can't be friends with her. In a sense, I've been looking for a mea culpa at least and I've realized I'll never get it. You mean an admission of fault? That's too much like not fun.
Author durkadurka Posted September 11, 2011 Author Posted September 11, 2011 You mean an admission of fault? That's too much like not fun. Well, I guess friendship is always about balance, talking things out, and none of that ever happened. It was always 'my way or the highway' and that isn't gonna work.
Feelin Frisky Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 Well, I guess friendship is always about balance, talking things out, and none of that ever happened. It was always 'my way or the highway' and that isn't gonna work. I look at it this way, some people treat others like "characters" in their lives-characters who basically cease to exist when they are not thinking about them. You become a "utility" and when your utility is less than something else, you stop existing. I think it's part and parcel of the television era where you can opt in and opt out of dramas with the flip of the remote. Just my two cents. Others are just selfish inside one way or the other. Better luck.
visualbasicide Posted September 11, 2011 Posted September 11, 2011 I agree with everyone else that has said to tell your people not to tell you about her. Nohbody is absolutely right. Selfish. I don't know about you but every time I ask myself "why" this or that happened that is the answer that stands out the most in my mind and I refuse to be around anyone that it applies to.
Author durkadurka Posted September 12, 2011 Author Posted September 12, 2011 I look at it this way, some people treat others like "characters" in their lives-characters who basically cease to exist when they are not thinking about them. You become a "utility" and when your utility is less than something else, you stop existing. I think it's part and parcel of the television era where you can opt in and opt out of dramas with the flip of the remote. Just my two cents. Others are just selfish inside one way or the other. Better luck. I agree. I ended up sending this to her today. Last night I talked to a friend of mine and realized that the rift between us probably won't come to any sort of peace which is really too bad. It's apparent though, that you blame and me for everything which makes being friends impossible. Over time, things have accumulated that have made simple things complicated culminating in a watershed moment for me last night. Things have never been more obvious to me. Even 2-3 months ago, a sorry probably could have fixed some of these things. I wish you well, and hope that you find success in all of your pursuits. I regret I won't be around to see any of them.
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