What would you say?

[wannabdone]

POS,

 

Hey.... it's me again. I've been having a lot of thoughts of you tonight. I don't know if its because I'm kind of confined to my bed today, or if its because of the date, or both. Probably more so a little of both. Tonight has been differen though that the last few weeks. It hasn't been me crying, or me pissed off as hell, just me thinking. September 11th, 10 years ago, I had just met you a couple of months prior. It made me think about how I was 10 years prior. So excited, barely able to sleep at night because I couldn't wait to see you the next day. Now here I sit, so many years later.... still staying up all night but for different reasons. Sad, angry, rethinking every move I have made over the last decade and everything you have ever said to me. At first I was devasted, laying in bed, so depressed, as of late I have been mostly so mad at you I can't see straight, with a day here and there of sadness and lonliness. But like I said, tonight is different. So extreme anger, no extreme sadness..... just wondering.... WHY???? Why did you take advantage of me? Why did I allow you?? How could you continue to lie to me, all the while you were keeping up all the appearances at your house? Carrying on as the happily married couple. Do you know what all I gave up for you??? I have made my R with my H a room mate status. I have been so lonely for so long, and I didn't have to be, had you just had been honest with me. Why did you hurt the one person who stood beside you and believed in you? Why could you never see how great we would have been together, and how much better your life would have been with me? A woman who would have stood beside you and been a true partner, instead of someone who expected everything from you and offered no support. Why did you constantly just look at the hard and difficultness that would had come from us being together. It would have been hard, yes. You have a lot of children and its apparent she didn't want to let it go, but we could have worked through it. We could have been happy. You could have been more successful and a better father, because you would have been happy. Happy and loved, and accepted. Acceptance you had never had. I loved you for you, not what you could be, or what I wanted you to be, or what you could supply me with, but just loved for you. Why were you so willing to be a sell out? Was it that you really didn't love me? Do you? Do you think about me? Do you miss me? Did I throw my life away for so long and waste my entire 30's on someone who didn't love me? Your actions tell me you don't and never did love me. Your face and the way you acted when you were around me told me you did. Its so confusing. And if you cared for me, even if a little bit....could you not see how much I loved and adored you? Could you not have allowed me the truth, and set me free? Not like you did in the past with the emails of "I can't pull the trigger" and then disappear and then pop up again. Really, truly you saying good bye, I'm sorry and walking away never to return. I wanted a life with you, I wanted to have your children, I wanted to share every single thing with you, and you could not have respected me enough to really just let me go.

You have accused me of lying, being maniuplative, etc. And quite honestly, out of everyone in this mess, I have been the most honest, the most loyal and non manipulative out of everyone. Did I lie to you years ago? Yes. When you left me, I thought it was for good. I had never been in a R like this, I thought when someone dropped out of your life, they were gone. I tried to pick the pieces of mine, and tried to move on. I was lonely and sad and devasted, I wanted to fill a void, so I started dating, and then I got married. I didn't want to tell you, because I didn't want to look weak, I didn't want you to know I had, I was worried if you found out I would lose you forever. I really didn't know you would ever return. I mean, come on.... we had d-day, you called me and told me it was over and you never wanted to see me again, you told me I misinterpurated our friendship as something more, and then you moved out of state. How would I not think it was over? After coming clean to you about that, I have not lied since. I did not go anywhere with my H, sleep with him, and basically ruined any chance of us having any R at all. You though continued to go and do things with your W, slept with her, etc. All the while telling me you did not. I never sold you out, never called your W and told her anything and even when she called me several times, did what you asked and didn't say a word. I thought it was helping you, since she was "so crazy". It was helping you, but not in the way I thought...it was helping you to gaslight her, just as you had done to me. And although I NEVER talked to her, even when she confronted me when you had left, and she came to your hotel room and I was there, I still didn't tell her the whole story. I didn't want to hurt her any more than what had been. I was carrying your child at that time, I never told her. I didn't feel that it would benefit anyone. But not you, you turned around and called my H and told him everything. Which was fine, because I actually felt better after wards, that everything was out and there was no more lying. I told him everything. But then...come to find out, not you POS. You still lied to your spouse. So I was defending you by not talking to her, you lied to her to help your cause and then called my H and sold me out. WTF??? And then when you came back after 3 months of NC, after I had lost our child, and had to do this all by myself, you blamed your W for manipulating you to call my H. You have never taken accontability for anything. EVER!!! Why I still love you and miss you, I don't know. I seriously have to be one f'd up chick. But I do. I miss talking to you, holding your hand, hugging you, touching your face, and your neck. I miss you. And that is so sad, because I really don't think you do me. You sent me that "apology", which I told you earlier seemed more to do about you, than apologizing to me. You ask if I am okay, and proclaim this unbarable guilt that is too much to live with....but yet you have not even checked your email to see if I even gave you a response. How can you say you love someone so deeply, ask if they are okay and then not even 4 days later, find 5 seconds to check your email to see if they emailed you back.

How do you do it? How do you live with yourself? HOW?? How can you sleep at night? How do you move on so carefree, acting as though I never existed? I really want to master that one, it would probably help me tremendously. How could you look me in the eyes, when I cried to you, something I never do in front of anyone, and tell me you would never do this to me again, swared to God that you wouldn't. That you would never leave me, that you would make this work and then turn around and do it again. HOW? After I told you how in the past when you did this I thought about killing myself. I told you how you doing this brought up every single thing that I had issues with. And how I was working through those things but I absolutely could not go back into this relationship if you even had one thought that you could or would do the same things you did before. HOW?? I loved you so much. I would have never left you, I would have never treated you like this. I have always defended you, never told my H anything about you. But you would spill the beans about everything. You told her about things that were so personal, things I had never told anyone in my life, only you. And you betrayed me.

You live your life in your "christian world", Deacon and minister in your church, home schooled parents, and all the while you are lying and decieving. You are telling deeply personal things that have been told to you in confidence. How can you even proclaim to be a Christian? And you wonder why I have issues with Church and religion when I have had ppl like you do what you have done to me?

I have been told a million times, that I knew what I was doing, I went into a R with a MM. I did, but coming from where I came from, I believed in you, hole heartedly. I was a sucker. I feel stupid. You used me. For sex, money, companionship, therapy, rides, you name it. I am sure I have given you thousands of dollars over the last few years. I have never got or expected a birthday gift, valentines gift, nothing. You gave me 2 cards over the last 10 years. 2 CARDS....WHAT A WHOLE TWO BUCKS? I have bought you suits, jeans, shirts, shoes, paid for your gas, gave you $ for your kids bdays, $ for other things, paid your cell phone bills, gave you $ for your family to just have grocercies, bought your kids clothes, shoes, baseball gloves, football shoes, paid for your lunches, dinners, you name it. I was happy to, I loved you. I can't help but think you knew what you were doing.

You always told me that God knows our hearts. I believe that, I believe God knows who heart was geniuine and who's was not. And I can only hope that he is a just and fair God as the bible says. And if that is so, you have it coming to you. I know I do to, for I went agaisnt my beliefs and slept with another woman's husband and also cheated on my H, I hurt my child and a lot of ppl. But, I feel like I have gotten my hurt, and my punishment. I knew better, I did, you know how many times I cried to you, that I wanted to be with you for us, but I didn't want to continue to hurt people. God I can only hope really knows our hearts.

I don't ever want to see you again and I do. I really want you to call me and beg. And I want to be able to reject you for once. You have never had a woman reject you, and I think its high time.

There aren't enough years left in your life for the justice that needs to be dealt to you. You deserve to be lonely and unhappy. I hope and pray your wife leaves you. She is a nut, but she is better than you. ANYONE IS.

So, as you can tell from this letter, I am all over the place. Hating you and loving you at the same time. Wanting you to call so I can yell at you and wanting you to call so I can see you.

My God, you have f'd me up more than anyone ever has. You are a horrible, HORRIBLE person.

[Gentlegirl]

Do you remember the first time we went for a walk all those years ago and you took me to the beautiful cliffs you love so much?

 

Do you remember all the small trinkets , the gold ring, the books, the poems, the photos, the chocolate paint, the crotchless panties, the old movie tickets, the endless stream of soppy cards, the teddybears, the scented candles, pot pourri the memorabilia of everything we ever did together? Well, HONEYBUNCH AS YOU USED TO CALL ME BUT ALSO CALLED YOU WIFE, it has all gone over your precious cliffs. Right to the bottom. Maybe somebody will find it and return those things to you because they all have your name and address attached.

 

I have only one regeret... that you weren't present so that I could have hurled you over the cliffs as well.

 

I am really glad about one thing though... my pistol licence had lapsed when you decided to go walk away from me and you should be thanking God too. Otherwise you would have been minus your crown jewels.

 

I am no longer the princess.

 

I AM THE ****ING QUEEN!

[Gentlegirl]

Theat was all true... exactly what I did with all the **** he gave me.

 

Gentlegirl

[SBC]

If you want to sit there and rot, by all means please be my guest. But I am not going to sit there and rot with you. I have places to go, things to do and people to meet.

 

Good luck!

 

*actually, I did say this to him and I meant it too*

[wannabdone]

Do you remember the first time we went for a walk all those years ago and you took me to the beautiful cliffs you love so much?

 

Do you remember all the small trinkets , the gold ring, the books, the poems, the photos, the chocolate paint, the crotchless panties, the old movie tickets, the endless stream of soppy cards, the teddybears, the scented candles, pot pourri the memorabilia of everything we ever did together? Well, HONEYBUNCH AS YOU USED TO CALL ME BUT ALSO CALLED YOU WIFE, it has all gone over your precious cliffs. Right to the bottom. Maybe somebody will find it and return those things to you because they all have your name and address attached.

 

I have only one regeret... that you weren't present so that I could have hurled you over the cliffs as well.

 

I am really glad about one thing though... my pistol licence had lapsed when you decided to go walk away from me and you should be thanking God too. Otherwise you would have been minus your crown jewels.

 

I am no longer the princess.

 

I AM THE ****ING QUEEN!

 

 

LOL.... LOVE IT!!! I was babydoll.....by the way....so was she.

[So Very Confused]

I wish I'd never answered the phone last night. How dare you try to convince me that you hadn't intended to end it with me? What were you trying to accomplish by telling me how you couldn't trust me and never would?

 

It doesn't really matter. It needed to end. I was miserable and you've dumped me three times in the last month. I'm sick and tired of having the same discussion every week about how I'm disloyal and a liar while you go home to your W. I'm tired of being devastated and then having hope that everything is okay. I can't have a normal life and keep my job and responsibilities with all this drama going on.

 

If you thought my profile on match (that I set up after you dumped me) was bad, you should know that I set up another one on a different site yesterday. I know that if we were to get back together, you'd find out about it and be mad at me over it. Speaking of, what kind of MM goes to all the effort to look for his AP on dating sites? It's a lot of effort to even register so that you can search for me. Why do you keep doing that? And then when you find me, why do you repeatedly verbally beat me up over it? YOU HAD DUMPED ME WHEN I SET IT UP. I'm single and you're married. You have someone else and I don't. If you want me to be loyal to you, you need to get a divorce and be loyal to me. On top of that, I'm starting to think you're a special kind of crazy anyway.

[Tenacity]

Theat was all true... exactly what I did with all the **** he gave me.

 

 

I'm sorry Gentlegirl, but that was too funny. I can't believe you threw his stuff off a cliff! And with his name and address on it. That is classic. Your post was hilarious. You don't sound like a gentlegirl to me at the moment (that's a good thing!)

[all3sides]

I owe you an apology, for not giving your wife the credit I now see she deserves. (first and only one you'll ever get from me)

 

I never could comprehend how a woman with a PhD in Psychology couldn't figure out her husband was screwing around on her for over two years. Especially after you told me she had confronted you about your phone bill and took your bullsh*t explanation and never looked further. Then when you told me of the second and third time she asked you about me and still refused to look at what was plain as day?!?! WTF?!?!

 

Now when I see her picking you up for lunch nearly every day or bringing the kids and coming to "hang out" in your office it's so, so, so very hard to keep from laughing at you.

 

Too bad Mommy shortened your leash. Does she know it's too little too late? Have you even bothered to tell her I was done with you? You can put your spin on it however you want, but I know that she doesn't trust you anymore, and obviously can't even trust you to go to work.

 

Not so "lonely" in your marriage anymore are you? Funny, for a man who liked things up his ass, bet her being up it 24/7 isn't quite as pleasurable.

 

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

F*CK OFF JACK*SS!!!

[So Very Confused]

Not so "lonely" in your marriage anymore are you? Funny, for a man who liked things up his ass, bet her being up it 24/7 isn't quite as pleasurable.

 

I just love a happy ending. LOL

[wannabdone]

I owe you an apology, for not giving your wife the credit I now see she deserves. (first and only one you'll ever get from me)

 

I never could comprehend how a woman with a PhD in Psychology couldn't figure out her husband was screwing around on her for over two years. Especially after you told me she had confronted you about your phone bill and took your bullsh*t explanation and never looked further. Then when you told me of the second and third time she asked you about me and still refused to look at what was plain as day?!?! WTF?!?!

 

Now when I see her picking you up for lunch nearly every day or bringing the kids and coming to "hang out" in your office it's so, so, so very hard to keep from laughing at you.

 

Too bad Mommy shortened your leash. Does she know it's too little too late? Have you even bothered to tell her I was done with you? You can put your spin on it however you want, but I know that she doesn't trust you anymore, and obviously can't even trust you to go to work.

 

Not so "lonely" in your marriage anymore are you? Funny, for a man who liked things up his ass, bet her being up it 24/7 isn't quite as pleasurable.

 

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

F*CK OFF JACK*SS!!!

 

 

Holy hell, batman.... LMAO!!! I almost pissed my pants. LOVE IT!!!! YOU GO GIRL!!!!

[Gentlegirl]

 

I'm sorry Gentlegirl, but that was too funny. I can't believe you threw his stuff off a cliff! And with his name and address on it. That is classic. Your post was hilarious. You don't sound like a gentlegirl to me at the moment (that's a good thing!)

 

I'm usually a gentle person. However, I can be the bitch from hell when somebody betrays my trust......a woman scorned can be pretty scary.

 

Yes I did throw all his stuff off the cliff in the mountains.... quite close to where he lives also. It's possible that somebody will find it one day. He would have quite a task explaining some of the items in that bag to his wife, and why they were addressed to him.

 

It amused me no end to have a mental picture of him scrabbling around the foot of the cliff frantically searching for it. I told him what I'd done and he was horrified!

 

It gave me some kind of perverted pleasure or maybe it was sweet justice to know that he would have the possibility of somebody finding the goodie bag hanging over his head for a long time to come.

 

This thread was a great idea! This week is another low point for me in the parade of anniversaries looming. It felt good to write about that and remember doing it. I'd forgotten, as it was just after D Day alsmot 9 months ago. My frame of mind is much better this morning.

 

Gentlegirl(really!)

[So Very Confused]

What is this? Some kind of psycho aversion therapy? I swear that after dealing with you, I'll never, ever, ever go near another MM. In fact, I may never go near another man at all. Period. And the feeling may be mutual because you are stressing me out so bad that my hair is falling out and my face is breaking out. You are like a cancer you *sshole. AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! If you wanted to drive me crazy, you have been 100% successful. I'm tired. I'm horny. I'm p*ssed off. I hate you. I've never hated you but you've changed that. I hate you because you've made me think about you and I think that's exactly what this whole exercise was about.

 

(this is the best therapy ever)

[wannabdone]

Hey Dumbass...

 

was thinking about you today..... Not in a good way.... momma's in a bbbbaaaaddddd mood.

 

Just wanted to drop you a quick note, that I hope like hell you lose tonight. That gd team is all you have to hang onto that makes you feel like your a winner, and I hope the opponents devaste you guys.

 

Oh and your a low life piece of s***.

Oh and your bday is coming up.... was just thinking about how you are one year closer to those flames!!!!! ouch!!!

 

f off.... azz wipe

[fooled once]

I was about to make a post that said my posts might be more than one ....and in my bi polar state might change from day to day. Might be angry, might be love, might be sad, might be plotting his demise.

 

Just wanted to fore warn you guys that I plan on doing this daily on the thread to get my feelings out. Because I have been wrirting it, but not sending. Something about being able to push that send button, makes me feel better for some reason. Make sense?

 

Please - post here every day! Post and post and post! I have read some of the best posts ever here! I could kick myself for not thinking of this sooner!!

 

This really has been the best therapy. I've been snickering about it for an hour now and it feels so much better than the crying I've been doing for days.

 

SVC, I am so glad you are feeling better! Put the tears away. I so look forward to the day when you are healed, stronger and loving the wonderful future in front of you!

 

Hey there you narcissitic, selfish, reprehensible, loathsome, self-centered egotistical pr*ck,

 

Even after everything, I still love you, and I hate that. I will get over that.

 

I loved your opening sentence! :laugh:

 

And honey, you don't love HIM. You love how he made you feel (when he wasn't being the narcisstic, selfish, etc. pri*ck!) You wanted love, you embraced feeling in love and yet you knew deep down something was off. He (actually his sperm) gave you a child. But sperm alone, as you know, doesn't make anyone a dad. You are getting there my friend, one day at a time. I am so proud of you!!

 

I saw him last week. It was hard to keep looking forward. So actually, This is what Id say:

 

WTF was I thinking? Wow! You arent that attractive as I thought.

 

and

 

I dont need you anymore.

 

and

 

Looking back, Im so sure that I made the right decision walking away.

 

and

 

I dont wish bad things, but I really dont wish you well. ( despite what I say)

 

TT

 

GOOD GIRL!!!

 

 

I have only one regeret... that you weren't present so that I could have hurled you over the cliffs as well.

 

I am really glad about one thing though... my pistol licence had lapsed when you decided to go walk away from me and you should be thanking God too. Otherwise you would have been minus your crown jewels.

 

I am no longer the princess.

 

I AM THE ****ING QUEEN!

 

Dang straight! You are the queen and don't you ever ever let anyone treat you differently!!

 

If you want to sit there and rot, by all means please be my guest. But I am not going to sit there and rot with you. I have places to go, things to do and people to meet.

 

Good luck!

 

*actually, I did say this to him and I meant it too*

 

Yay!! Excellent!!

 

Not so "lonely" in your marriage anymore are you? Funny, for a man who liked things up his ass, bet her being up it 24/7 isn't quite as pleasurable.

 

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

F*CK OFF JACK*SS!!!

 

OMG :lmao::lmao: Perfect!!!

 

Ladies,

 

I feel like a proud mom right now! I honestly am so proud of all of you. You are doing well, you are getting your feelings out - good, bad or indifferent. Purging your souls. Each day, you all are getting stronger. You will have moments of tears, but as the days pass, those crying times will become less time consuming and then less as each day/week passes. I know you all have it in you!!

 

NEVER ever settle. DEMAND the best. Read my signature ... "We teach others how to treat us". :bunny:

[fooled once]

There's a copycat thread on "the other side"...they were jealous they didn't get invited to our MM bashing "party"...I'm glad they are getting out their hurt too but when I last read all the post were directed at the OW rather than 50% for the WS?...wow...us OW have superior god-like powers to make/force the MM do things they never ever wanted to do...we are the freaking QUEENS...right?

 

Lost, I know there is a thread in infidelity. Someone thought this was a good idea for the BS so she made a thread in infidelity for the BS's. No one is saying that the OW here are the OW being discussed on their thread, so PLEASE let them have their thread and we have ours. Isn't the best thing that people are getting their anger out?

 

Let them heal their way. Please do not take things personal. Each person reacts differently to hurt. Some do blame someone who knew the person was married. Some don't care. That's their thread; let's keep ours here and focused on the OW healing, okay?

[fooled once]

Lost ((hug))

 

It is easy to get defensive; and I do understand that.

 

But when you get down to it, we all need to "rant" every now and then. If someone started a thread about co-workers being psycho, I would be all over it; yet someone who is a co-worker can get all defensive about co-workers who refuse to bend over and take it from them :laugh:

 

All's good - let's just stick to our thread here and let them have theirs!

[cupshalfempty]

You have a fat ass....glad you enjoy looking @ mine.

[wannabdone]

Fair enough...I guess I just get my feathers ruffled when OW get 100% of the blame as BS tried to say that to me...sorry...point taken...

 

 

Youre okay LID. i hear what you are saying. Maybe you should create a thread for that??? Maybe it would be good for us to be able to talk about all the blame shifting that has gone on to us. I for one would be a frequent poster if you decide to do so.

[TurningTables]

Well....Xmm broke contact yesterday! Sent me a message on FB. Says something about something *I* sent him. I broke down and wrote him back saying I didnt send you anything! I also wrote back to him saying that nothing has changed, we still cant be friends. He changed his tune quickly and he stopped responding. And here I am, again, crying over this POS jerkface.

 

It makes me mad that I responded. What makes it even worse is that I feel like he just contacted me to sniff me out! He just wanted to see if I was still around. I so want to write to him and call him out once and for all. I want him to know he can NEVER have someone like me. He has tried twice ( once in HS and now) and failed!

 

I feel like this whole mess has made me bi-polar. I felt victory that he was contacting me...and I got to say Im moving on from this....to being upset that he's gone silent.

 

When is this ever going to end?

[wannabdone]

Ok...does my rant have to b about xMM?...i'm having a ****ty night and it has nothing to do with xMM?...

 

My narsaccistic abusive mother (FOO issue poster child) is in visiting from OOT...I hate her...she just got finished talking to me about her and her and her and oh yeah her...and how I should have a kinder heart so that I could pretend to be happy in a miserable M...so that we (me, H, and 3 kids) could all b one big happy family...oh yeah...then some more her...and I should stay miserable so everyone else gets what they want...who cares about me...I hate her..."me and your dad stayed married when we shouldn't have or didn't want to bc we said vows at the alter"...blah, blah, and go f*ck yourself mom...that's why I'm so f*cked up!!!...that's why I'm in this situation!!!...strangely enough she knows nothing about xMM or how miserable my M is...so who knows why she pulled this shyte tonight...I'm sure it benefited her in some way...it sucks to not have a mother u can depend on, a H you can't depend on, and no friends bc no one wants to b around my H...life is good!!!

 

There's not too many people I don't hate right now...except my kids...but I guess one day they'll hate me too...unless of course I forego my happiness then everything will b A ok right?...mom thinks so, so must be true...

 

And just to not TJ...I still hate xMM too...and all other men for that matter...I hope xMM rots in hell...again...since he's already there...ha...

 

LinD

 

 

LinD.... we must talk girl. My mom is N as well. I have not spoke to her in over 2 years and it has been so freeing. at the end of the month, I can PM, so we should talk.

 

Hang in there kid. just keep thinking of the day she leaves.

[SBC]

Well....Xmm broke contact yesterday! Sent me a message on FB. Says something about something *I* sent him. I broke down and wrote him back saying I didnt send you anything! I also wrote back to him saying that nothing has changed, we still cant be friends. He changed his tune quickly and he stopped responding. And here I am, again, crying over this POS jerkface.

 

It makes me mad that I responded. What makes it even worse is that I feel like he just contacted me to sniff me out! He just wanted to see if I was still around. I so want to write to him and call him out once and for all. I want him to know he can NEVER have someone like me. He has tried twice ( once in HS and now) and failed!

 

I feel like this whole mess has made me bi-polar. I felt victory that he was contacting me...and I got to say Im moving on from this....to being upset that he's gone silent.

 

When is this ever going to end?

 

It will end as soon as you accept the fact that you cannot change him. So he is an a**hole, who cares?! Let him go be an a**hole to someone else while you move on to something better.

 

Look, you did a good thing by telling him its over and that nothing has changed, to me this says you are even stronger and more convinced than if you had not responded at all. And no one can make you feel anything, they are your emotions and you control them.

 

REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE! You are beautiful, funny, charming, delightful and if this jackwagon doesn't see that, well he needs his cranium checked. So, while he goes and does that, you move on to your next conquest.

 

And finally let go of the fantasy, as soon as you do, you will begin to feel better. You will start to see him for what he is, a 5 year old.

 

Edited to add: don't tell him with your words he cant have someone like you, show him with your actions. It carries far more weight. but, once you do, it is very likely that he will want you even more, because that is what guys do...they want what is they can't have. At that point, it will be up to you to be strong and to say, 'sad news friend but, nope, you can't have this thang!'

Edited September 13, 2011 by SBC

[wannabdone]

Well....Xmm broke contact yesterday! Sent me a message on FB. Says something about something *I* sent him. I broke down and wrote him back saying I didnt send you anything! I also wrote back to him saying that nothing has changed, we still cant be friends. He changed his tune quickly and he stopped responding. And here I am, again, crying over this POS jerkface.

 

It makes me mad that I responded. What makes it even worse is that I feel like he just contacted me to sniff me out! He just wanted to see if I was still around. I so want to write to him and call him out once and for all. I want him to know he can NEVER have someone like me. He has tried twice ( once in HS and now) and failed!

 

I feel like this whole mess has made me bi-polar. I felt victory that he was contacting me...and I got to say Im moving on from this....to being upset that he's gone silent.

 

When is this ever going to end?

 

 

It is ending, and you are ending it. I did the same thing last night, got another msg. I responded and told him that I did not respond to the first one b/c I had nothing to say. And all I want was what I had told her previously, for our business affairs to be wrapped up. Then I told him that I had figured out I didn't love him and how much better I was than him.

 

IT FELT GREAT!!!!

 

You didn't break NC, you reinforced it. You did the right thing. Don't beat yourself up.

[jthorne]

you move on to your next conquest.

Interesting how you refer to relationships as conquests.

[SBC]

Interesting how you refer to relationships as conquests.

 

Out of my entire post, that is what you pulled out of it? Oh geez!

 

[jthorne]

Well....Xmm broke contact yesterday! Sent me a message on FB. Says something about something *I* sent him. I broke down and wrote him back saying I didnt send you anything! I also wrote back to him saying that nothing has changed, we still cant be friends. He changed his tune quickly and he stopped responding. And here I am, again, crying over this POS jerkface.

 

It makes me mad that I responded. What makes it even worse is that I feel like he just contacted me to sniff me out! He just wanted to see if I was still around. I so want to write to him and call him out once and for all. I want him to know he can NEVER have someone like me. He has tried twice ( once in HS and now) and failed!

 

I feel like this whole mess has made me bi-polar. I felt victory that he was contacting me...and I got to say Im moving on from this....to being upset that he's gone silent.

 

When is this ever going to end?

There's an easy solution if you are indeed through with him: block him on FB, block his number, block his email.

But your statement that you felt victory that he contacted you, and upset at his silence says that you want to leave the door open.