so_mo34 Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 Is it normal to feel so awful over a guy who never cared about us? I Just ended it with this guy yesterday, but we were never together..just had sex couple times a week for 2 years. I quit my job the one he's at..so I didn't even get to say good bye to him and will never see him again. Im so emotionally tired and drained and feel so depressed. Not sure how i will manage at work tomorrow. I just feel so stupid that i stayed around for so long. Had really strong feelings for him. Link to post Share on other sites
Buttercup84 Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 You are not stupid , it's so normal to feel like this . When women have sex we get attached easily . You are very strong for ending it . go to work , I swear that as hard as it was I am so glad I went to work . Link to post Share on other sites
Author so_mo34 Posted September 11, 2011 Author Share Posted September 11, 2011 I just keep thinking if i did the right thing or not..Though i know it wasn't going anywhere and i wanted more than just sex. I never told him my true feeling though i just said 'casual sex is not what i want'. I never even know for sure how he truly felt either. He didn't treat me very nice and constantly hits on girls and sleeps with other girls that i was tired of feeling jealous all the time and wasting my time on something that would never happen. Link to post Share on other sites
visualbasicide Posted September 11, 2011 Share Posted September 11, 2011 It's normal, that is why I am an advocate against FWB, someone always gets attached. Never ends well. You are better off without him. Take this time to work on who you want to be and once you find her, then worry about letting someone else having a share in your life. Best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
lyeex Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 i'm in your exact situation. i've been seeing this guy on and off casually for a year and 3 months. except he knew how i felt about him. not in the beginning, but around march i told him after he had just gotten out of a relationship with someone else. he lied to me, told me he wanted to be with me. he'd leave me for other girls, then come back. he even made it seem like we were more than sex by introducing me to his friends and taking me out in public. i finally had to end it with him about 2 days ago, and it wasnt a pretty ending. i had to get police involved just to get my stuff back from him. now hes off screwing some new girl, while im miserable wondering why he couldnt love me. you're not stupid, and your feelings are normal. i wake up crying, cry randomly throughout the day, cry before i fall asleep. its just as bad if not worse than breaking up with someone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author so_mo34 Posted September 12, 2011 Author Share Posted September 12, 2011 Oh.im sorry to hear but at least we are not alone. I felt at times that maybe he liked me also because he invited me out a few times with his friends and went to this party of his friends that he wanted me to go to..and he ignored me the whole time..until i was leaving of course. It was all so confusing and the games he'd play. It just makes it worse how he doesn't even care. I didnt feel too bad yesterday when i ended it but today its all sinking in and im an absolute mess. Have you gone to work? Im thinking im going to take tomorrow off as im so unstable ill just burst out crying at any time. Link to post Share on other sites
visualbasicide Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 sounds like he just keeps you around as some ego boost? You have done the right thing I think. And to comment on the other poster, it is exactly the same thing as a break up or divorce, one person is emotionally attached and the other isn't or can't, for whatever reason, return the feelings. It all boils down to the same thing in the end. Link to post Share on other sites
lyeex Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 yeah, i'm in college and working fulltime. i still go to work and school, although i dont feel like it. work kind of helps me though, because im around people and dont have much time to think about him. same with school. i do feel like crying at times but i hold it in until i get home. every day is a struggle. i've been through this so many times with him, but he always comes back and i end up at square one again. take a day off if you need to, but then get back out there and continue with your life. you're going to feel like crap, and you're going to want to cry. crying really does help. but the more time you spend around people and doing things to occupy yourself, the less time you'll have to dwell on him. just keep reminding yourself of how he treated you, that he doesnt care about you, that he was just using you, that he doesnt deserve someone as loving as you are. thats what i have to do. i go back and forth thinking that i want him back, then i remember why i ended it with him. the person that i love is not really him, its who i wanted him to be. he'll never give me what i need to be happy. Link to post Share on other sites
aliceinchains Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 (edited) It's completely normal for you to feel this way. Breakups are always tough, but the pain does not last forever. I saw a post from you a while ago, you made a lot of posts here about him (some of which were very concerning), everyone told you this was happening but it took you a while to end it and it's good to see you finally ended it for real. Congrats! The healing will come now. These kinds of guys will lie to everyone just to get what they want, these type of guys are worthless. They are the ones that are not normal. I am one of those "nice" guys I don't get a lot of women but in the relationships i have been, have always been great (based on mutual respect) Even with great relationships things can end, they sometimes run their course or you realize you don't relate at all. It's tough no matter what, some breakups are easier than others. my advice is this: delete him off your phone, msn, email, facebook, etc. whatever you have him on. Take a day off to get yourself together, go out with a friend or friends and have some fun without this jerk. 6 months from now, you will be thanking yourself. This is kind of thing is tough for everyone, except for maybe him. but you knew that. He will just go and destroy someone else now This is why I stay away from FWB, they never end well. One day you will meet someone who really cares about you and respects you. You will see what a real relationship is all about. good luck. Edited September 12, 2011 by aliceinchains Link to post Share on other sites
maylis Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 I had a similar situation, mine went on for a year. The guy slept with one other girl that I knew of and really it was the dumbest situation I think I have put myself in. I saw him at a concert last week and I just pretended I didn't see him. ****ing jerk. Link to post Share on other sites
Author so_mo34 Posted September 12, 2011 Author Share Posted September 12, 2011 Thank you for your support everyone. I stayed home from work today (but now im feeling guilty about it)..I just needed another day to do nothing and mope around. I woke up to a text from him this morning saying "no more? :(". Not sure what that meant..probably just thinking im not serious and that he still wants to use me. I doubt he misses me...though would be nice if he did, even just a little. Anyways I didn't reply to it..should I just ignore all his messages? Link to post Share on other sites
lyeex Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 ignore him. or tell him how you feel, that you are looking for a relationship and he's not able to give you that. just dont settle for anything less than what you deserve, and most likely he will never give you what you deserve. Link to post Share on other sites
aliceinchains Posted September 12, 2011 Share Posted September 12, 2011 Thank you for your support everyone. I stayed home from work today (but now im feeling guilty about it)..I just needed another day to do nothing and mope around. I woke up to a text from him this morning saying "no more? :(". Not sure what that meant..probably just thinking im not serious and that he still wants to use me. I doubt he misses me...though would be nice if he did, even just a little. Anyways I didn't reply to it..should I just ignore all his messages? How sad do you feel right now? Do you feel sad enough yet? Maybe you want to be even more hurt to get the picture? This guy does not give a damn about you, he never will, all he wants is what's between your legs. I don't get how you can ask such a question, "should i ignore his messages?" Are you serious?? This is the same guy in all your posts who has destroyed you for 2 years? All you need to respond is with a simple "yes it's over, get a life." If you are not able to ignore his texts, call your phone company and have his number blocked. Block all contact from him (facebook, msn, gmail, hotmail etc) Your earlier post in this thread you said you thought he liked you at times? Really? Read all your posts from here, maybe you will get the picture that he does not like you at all. A friend would not even treat you that way. I apologize for being a little harsh, but it seems some women never get the hint. Good luck and I wish you all the best Link to post Share on other sites
Author so_mo34 Posted September 12, 2011 Author Share Posted September 12, 2011 Yeah i know..Im stupid. I kept hanging on to these little strings of hope cause i'm so pathetic and made it a little bit easier. I just don't know how to move on knowing how he never even liked me one bit. It just makes me feel totally worthless. My friend told me that he once admitted out loud "i love playing these *name of grocery store* bitches" . Apparently he thinks it's really funny. He also apparently showed a video on his phone of him banging a girl to this guy at work. Like thats soo gross and low. I hate myself for staying around so long. Link to post Share on other sites
lymtal1 Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 so mo, tough love is good at times. right now i think is not the time:) i think that what you have been through is pretty bad and you did not deserve to be treated like that. clearly this guy is not a very good person and someone that does not deserve a minute of your time. you stayed around because you cared for him and that is something that you can feel good about. that you know how to care for someone in a special way. you will be able to use this again at another point in your life when you find someone that deserves you. this will come, trust it. the way you move on is by knowing that he did not like you one bit. you have to recognize that you can't control what he did or did not do. the fact that you are now able to be rid of him is a good thing. i know you do not want to be involved with someone that is this type of person. think about everything that you really want in someone and know that you are not missing being with him. put your list of all the bad things about him and your relationship down on paper and read it. alot. read it when you feel like you are worthless and recognize that it is really him that is worthless. carry it with you. this is your remonder of what he did to you, how he treated you and how he made you feel. i have one. i take it everywhere. i feel bad and i pull it out and remember why i am in a better place without her. lastly you stayed around for many reasons. maybe you knew it was wrong and you didn't know how to leave him. i am sure you think you loved him but you know to really be in love with someone you have to have two people wanting the same thing. you did not have this. you also had hope that it would work out and that he could be the person you wanted to be with. he never could and never will be that guy. take solace in that you are away from him. he is not worth your time. you will find the right one in time. take time now to get past him and heal up. won't be easy but what i have figured out is nothing in love is easy. but it can be so great when you find the right one. you will:) Link to post Share on other sites
aliceinchains Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 Yeah i know..Im stupid. I kept hanging on to these little strings of hope cause i'm so pathetic and made it a little bit easier. I just don't know how to move on knowing how he never even liked me one bit. It just makes me feel totally worthless. My friend told me that he once admitted out loud "i love playing these *name of grocery store* bitches" . Apparently he thinks it's really funny. He also apparently showed a video on his phone of him banging a girl to this guy at work. Like thats soo gross and low. I hate myself for staying around so long. no no you are not pathetic - he is the pathetic one. 2 years is nothing anyway, some people get stuck in things things for 10 - 20 years. Link to post Share on other sites
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