Crushing on my best friend!

[sj_confused]

I'm incredibly fond of my best friend, and in the past, that affection had grown into more. He's one of the two most serious "crushes" of my life, but this was a year ago. Since then, he's dated two girls (one of them was my other best friend), and I swear I thought I was over him. He always knew I liked him - I didn't hide it from him, but he didn't share my feelings.

 

Now, I haven't seen him for more than nine months (I've been away from college), and I'm not going to see him for another 5 months (he's away now). I think the feelings I had for him before are coming back. But he just started dating this girl that I used to live with a year ago - he's on international exchange, but is doing long distance with this girl.

 

I don't think I can cope with it again. It was bad enough the first couple of times it happened, but I really can't deal with him falling for and dating another girl again. To top it off, he tends to disappear while dating someone else - I don't see him very often, he always gives her more importance, etc. But I still love him a lot (as a friend) and maybe have more serious feelings for him too (I'm kinda confused).

 

Any ideas on what to do to get over him once and for all? This can't continue - there's no future, and I don't want our friendship to end over this.

[woops1805]

Ever since I mentioned I liked my friend and was turned down, I feel things has changed. I feel that she is keeping her distance from me.

 

Because we have a lot of mutual friends I still get to see her often. I enjoy her company, but can no longer take it anymore. It just pains me to be near her sometimes, especially when other guys are around. I feel she is giving her attention to them more than me.

 

I enjoy our friendship, and don't want it to end either, but I also see it will end badly. One day she will find another person she likes, and then that will really hurt. I don't want to be there when that happens. So I think I will have to distance myself from her. I don't see the point of having a friend that tries to avoid me when we are on one to one basis. I can't help how I feel about her.

 

I will still her often due to our mutual groups, but will not try to initiate one to one. It will hurt, but I need to move on if I can.

[heartbaitdotcom]

@ sj_confused So here's my suggestion: I would say you should definitely distance yourself from this friend. Unfortunately, the friendship will have to suffer.. for a while at least. How you feel in this situation is much more important than how he feels. It's not healthy to be around someone who can't reciprocate feelings for you when you're catching feelings. He already knows where you stand. You can't just stick around pretending to be his friend. That's not fair to you. Trust me, he's LOVING every minute of you pining over him. He likes knowing you want him and will be there when no one else is. Every day you stay in his life wanting him is another day his ego grows. Don't give him that satisfaction. Your self-esteem is more important than his. Treat yourself better. Give yourself the respect you deserve and be strong enough to walk away from this situation. Hope this helps!

xx

~~Jewels