Drin Drin, ex before ex calls after a YEAR.

[Besmy]

Hello everyone,

 

Here I have another story for you. I hope it will make you smile

 

It's not about my current ex renamed "the sloth" (http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t297245/) but about the ex BEFORE him.

 

So I was with this guy about a year and I decided to end it when he said to me, talking about his feelings: "sometimes I care about you, sometimes I don't." Well that was it, so I ended it, or shall we say we ended it.

 

A couple of days ago he calls me, I answer his call, why not, after all I am not angry with him any more, too busy cursing the sloth.

 

And he says honey (YES, Honey!), "oh honey I miss you, I would like to kiss you now." And goes on that he loves me, yes he says "I love you Honey", and I say "How can you still love me after a year?" and he goes "You know that I love you" (indeed I DO NOT). He doesn't ask whether I am seeing anyone else and wants to be with me again.

 

So I say to him, excuse me, how comes that you came to this fantastic conclusion after a YEAR???

He says HE NEEDED TIME TO THINK! Plenty of time eh! And after thinking and rethinking he has come to the amazing conclusion that I was a fantastic girlfriend.

 

A little bit late eh! So late in fact that I don't care a tiny little bit any more about him, not even a tiny bit.

 

Thinking back of the day he told me those words and hurt me I feel like laughing now.

[smudge21]

The amount of times I've seen or heard of that happening, when a dumper comes crawling back but they've left it far too late. When you're a dumpee you can't imagine life without them, yet when that all passes you just feel like laughing when they come a-calling. I guess in a way it's karma - you go through hell, so you get that little bit of kick back later on, just a moment of "ha, sorry but you left it too late, bye."

[Besmy]

Gosh just wondering whether the same will happen with the Sloth?

 

What a waste of energy!

It shouldn't take THAT LONG to realise what you have lost, no?

[A_Guy_1981]

Just wondering, if you don't care, why are you posting this story?

 

All the best to ya!

[Besmy]

I posted this story for all those who wonder whether they will ever hear from their ex after a break up and for those who wonder how long it might take for your ex to realise what she / he has lost.

[M2155]

Everyone tells me "they always come back..."

 

This has almost always happened in my case after a few months and always after I've moved on, I had a guy from 15 years ago ask me if I still "thought about us back then," umm...nooooo. Except now that I'm getting older (30+) and relationships have more serious implications (living arrangements, children, getting married) I'm not so sure. My recent ex was probably the one I loved the most (never admitted) and the first time I was left for another woman, actually he chose the other woman (his ex- so they DO come back!) before he even bothered to inform me of leaving.

 

If there were fewer implications like they didn't move in together and he wasn't ready to settle down (so he says), I would not sweat this breakup as much as I have. But since he is happy it's so hard for me to imagine it will fall apart. I'm not even saying or sure that I want him back, but from earlier experience, it IS kinda liberating when they come a-calling and you don't feel it anymore:).

 

Do let us know what happenes to the Sloth.

[Besmy]

Yeah, some people have this incredible capacity to believe that their ex will always be in love with them and always be waiting for them to come back, and most of them also believe that they will be very warmly welcomed back.

 

The truth is that we do move on, it takes time, yes, but we do and then it's too late.

 

I believe some men do not fully appreciate what they have, go away, try another girlfriend, compare her to you, then they decide whether they want to come back to you or try yet another one.

 

As for the dumpees, we shall move on. There is plenty of nice people out there who deserve our affection.

[blakjak]

In all honesty, I kinda feel bad for the guy. Must have taken alot of courage to do what he did.

[Besmy]

Hey Blakjak,

 

please explain to the female public why we should feel bad for the guy.

 

I mean, a year is a year eh!

 

As for courage, I wouldn't call it courage but cheekiness. For sure he hasn't been all alone during all these months, eh!

 

Anyway, I didn't treat him badly at all, I added that this pattern of behaviour kept repeating itself (ex coming back when it's too late) and I could not understand it, so I asked him to explain me.

 

He just said men are like that.

[blakjak]

I didn't say anyone else should feel bad for him. I just said that I did How am I meant to know it's cheekiness?! As for love and the nature of love... I do not know how it works... I don't know if the man had 20 girlfriends during that year or if he was single pringle. Without much knowledge of your relationship with him... I assumed that he might have had an ephiany of sorts and made a genuine proclaimation of love. I do not know, and it appears I may be wrong. I can't say I ever ran back to any of my former gf's from the past. They all treated me badly lol. As for courage? I think I would be personally terrified of telling the former gf I actually care about how I feel... He might be a tosser for all I know. I wasn't defending him, simply voicing and uneducated opinion lol.

[Besmy]

Thank you blakjak, all opinions are welcome here.

That's the good thing about a blog, having opinions different from ours.

 

[Lis007]

I am curious if everyone says to go no contact then how does that fit to this scenario for example where he was a year to late.

 

Surely that would mean if you want to try and reconcile its better to do it sooner rather than later when people have moved on.

[Besmy]

I think NC best applies if you are the dumpee, at least you keep your dignity, start working on yourself and show your ex that you can happily live without him / her (even if this is not true).

 

Clearly a year is far too long, even a couple of months may be too long.

[mridul_chajilee]

But 'Thinking of Ex again come back to life' is similar to get back life to a dead man.How wil u approach her/him if come back?I will give gift to the east,I wil dumb for a while,I wil cry,I wil laugh,I wil pray to God,I wil hug her...i wil sing loudly in the street,i wil kiss her eyes,i wil cal to my mom and many more.But 'Thinking is not happened'.

[Thieves]

So I was with this guy about a year and I decided to end it when he said to me, talking about his feelings: "sometimes I care about you, sometimes I don't." Well that was it, so I ended it, or shall we say we ended it.

 

What? What a dumbass. Excuse my language, but really. Unless he had the intention of saying that so you two would break up, then great job. Otherwise... dude needs a 60 minute 101 class on How To Properly Ego Boost One's Girlfriend.

 

A couple of days ago he calls me, I answer his call, why not, after all I am not angry with him any more, too busy cursing the sloth.

 

And he says honey (YES, Honey!), "oh honey I miss you, I would like to kiss you now."

 

 

So I say to him, excuse me, how comes that you came to this fantastic conclusion after a YEAR???

He says HE NEEDED TIME TO THINK!

 

Wow. You know, as humorous as it seems at first, it's actually really hard to know if a person's actually being genuine about something like this... or if they're just running on empty and decided to try the last 'best girlfriend' they had, you know since the current line-ups aren't lookin' so good. And the whole "Men are like that" thing, is sketchy. How does that justify anything? Anyhow, nice post. Don't know about anyone else, but certainly got a smile out of me.

[flitzanu]

I posted this story for all those who wonder whether they will ever hear from their ex after a break up and for those who wonder how long it might take for your ex to realise what she / he has lost.

 

well, yeah, i've had every single ex contact me after breakups. i still maintain regular friendships with them too, except for the most recent.

 

if you date someone for a long time, you obviously have some kinship with them. throwing it away like you never knew them isn't realistic. it's getting people to admit THAT point that's difficult.