Saw some updates and wanted to add mine..

[stopthemadness]

Hi All, I saw some one year updates on here and wanted too add mine. If anything so you guys would know you are not alone.Amandabanan6 and ccfan I soo feel your pain. July was the one year breakup mark for me although we did still speak and yes we even hooked up a few times untell like Oct. I know DUMB! Still its been about a year. I swear it REALLY feels like I went through a divorce.Not a day goes by that I dont think of him if only for a second. We were 2gether 8+ yrs maybe thats why? And we dated for a few years in high school. I knew I couldnt get through this alone. So i started seeing a therapist. Saw her for 7 months untell she moved out of state. We still speak on the phone a few times a month.

When my ex brokeup with me. he said he meet someone on face book and was going too start dating her!! Ya crazy huh? Well guess what? that relationship didnt workout. Right after that he moved on to some other lady. Her he lived with for like 3 months. Well when that didnt work out. Yep you guess it. He called me. When I didnt respond to anything. Texts, emails he came to my door. I told my daughter to tell him NO i dont wanta say hi to him. I watched him leave through the window and he looked bad. Soo I called him on his cell. I kinda said What? He said he just wanted to say hi nothing more. I told him I forgive you for everything youve done to me, now lets just both try to move on. He asked if he could call me later. I said NO!! after this we wont be friends so you take care now. And I hung up the phone. That was end of May of this year. Well sence then seems like not a few weeks go by and he shows up some where.. Ya. Soo I hadnt seen him in person for like 7 months untell about 3 weeks ago. I was in a store and he shows up. OMG my heart was pounding. He kept saying am not stalking you. I said ok like three x's. Sence then he stops in town so his kids can say hi to me And he is always asking my daughter "so whats your mom up to?" Ya they talk. They do the face book thing and they text eachother. I REALLY dont care. He was like her step father for alot of years. Thats also how I know that hes still creeping on facebook for women. And thats also how I know its not working!!! Maybe just maybe the whole on line dating thing isnt all its cracked up to be? ya think?

As for me, I have a man "friend" who i meet about a year ago. We talked and dated for a few months but i wasnt ready. So I cut that off. Well..ya he called a few weeks ago and now were talking again. Maybe now am ready huh? Who knows? But well see. And if hes not my next relationship person. Someone else will be. So my advice to all. Take care of you. Yoga works wonders. Time will heal our broken hearts weather we want it too or not. And as far as my ex goes.. The grass ISNT always greener....Indifference is soo close for me I can feel it .

[Besmy]

I admire you!

Strong lady.

[stopthemadness]

I admire you!

Strong lady.

 

Thanks for saying that. It sure didnt start out that way. I was sad, like dark sad. I went through alot of heartache and suffering. I really thought he WAS the love of my life. Thats why I saw a therapist. I learned early on that No/ Contact was my best bet for healing. Soo I made myself invisible to him. I reconnected with family and friends and now I cherish those relationships. But comming across this site has helped me too. Theres a chat room on here that I remember being on alot at first. It helped me so much i come on here from time to time still.

[Queen of Hearts 10]

Your story was encouraging to know the better deal worked out for you. being able to not come to the door and have closeure. This site has helped so I continue to read the threads. When I have posted here I just get put down for my hurt and constant stalking my EX.

 

How can I get to the end of my story ? Which I'm in denial about. My EX has

a new girlfriend of about one month. He won't answer his phone or my texts.

Of just keeping in touch. but he won't block me or change his phone # either.

So every day I text or ring his number. He is my addiction. I feel I can't live with out him. So much darkness and hurt. I want him back.

[stopthemadness]

Your story was encouraging to know the better deal worked out for you. being able to not come to the door and have closeure. This site has helped so I continue to read the threads. When I have posted here I just get put down for my hurt and constant stalking my EX.

 

How can I get to the end of my story ? Which I'm in denial about. My EX has

a new girlfriend of about one month. He won't answer his phone or my texts.

Of just keeping in touch. but he won't block me or change his phone # either.

So every day I text or ring his number. He is my addiction. I feel I can't live with out him. So much darkness and hurt. I want him back.

 

Hi so sorry for your heart ache. Been there done that so I feel your pain.As far as me getten the better deal. I dont know if I really see it like that.I was at one time just like you, hurt and sad and yes maybe a little stalking was going on at first. I knew early on that I couldnt get through this alone so I went and found a therapist. And like my user name says I had to "stop the madness" see me and this man had been doing this for 8+ years!! At first we did still talk. And if you ask me looking back. Thats what made it harder. I learned that No/Contact was my best bet for healing. I know just how you feel about your ex having another girlfriend so fast too. Mine did that. Have you stopped to think that maybe he's doing you a favor by not responding to you. Believe me..you dont want smone who dont want you. I did what you did. I lost myself in the relationship. Soo now..the healing starts 2day. Please for you, STOP trying to make contact with him. Start with one day, then do two days and before you know it you're at a week!! I remember how happy I was when i made 10 days of no/contact!! Your not giving him a chance to miss you. You need to become invisible to him. Every time you try to contact your just stroking his ego. I remember at some point thinking. You(my ex) think your the **** because I made you feel that way!! Well lets see how you feel without me stroking his ego. And queen of hearts, know why I didnt go to the door? Because I knew I wasnt ready. I wasnt healed enough at that point. Have you thought of finding a therapist to talk too? Remember.. I was you..We ALL were you at one time..dont feel bad. Just figure out a way to get through this.

[Queen of Hearts 10]

I related to you as soon as I saw for the first time your name "Stop The Madness !"

I'm so glad that you have healed up to the point that you see him in a new light. The real mess that he is !

 

I'm a mess from this bad relationship and I have hope from you that my peace

will come. This sting was so bad that I don't want another bad relationship.

 

I FEAR men for the careless hurt that they can do on their way to get sex for their needs.

 

I have created a world of work and school to fill up time and make me tired. I'm on a dating site

to look at other men so I won't keep dreaming of him. It's a good distraction.

But so full of men with lots of women they play with.

 

How did you meet your new man ? I will try to get to a counselor. I just go through deep sinking

feelings and contact him. He never responds.

 

Well let me know more about how things are going. I will watch for your posts.

 

Thank you, I wish I could give you a hug ! Queen of Hearts 10