Getting Closure with a letter...good idea?!

[joiner16]

I was just wondering if its a good idea to hand write a letter to an ex. I feel i have things to say which are not bad and get off my chest but also to thank her for all the good times before i can get closure.

I have written a letter but undecided if i should send it!

[CarrieT]

Many therapists will advise the writing of such letters; putting the thoughts down is often enough to purge them (or help purge them).

 

Sending it is another matter.

 

Do you think it will make any difference to you and your well-being? Will it change your status?

 

If not, then leave sleeping dogs lie and let the hurt remain in the letter.

[Badenov]

If you've taken the high road--no accusations, no guilt trips, no blaming her for everything. If you're just saying "Thanks for everything, no hard feelings," and you're not expecting a reaction from her. Then yes, send it.

 

I've done this too. Not for her benefit, but for my own. To show MYSELF I was the better person. And even now, whenever I feel like maybe I should do or say something, or wonder what she thinks of me, or what I could've done different, or anything else of self-doubt,I say to myself "I sent her the letter." And I know that was enough.

 

I'm not sure it will work for you too, tho. But I hope it does.

[D-Lish]

Wait before deciding to send it. How long have you been broken up for?

[Dark Phoenix]

You get closure from within. I do agree with writing your thoughts out in letter format, whether you send that letter would depend on many different circumstances. Wait before you send the letter, or don't send it at all. I strongly believe that if you do send that letter you will be surprised that you still don't have the closure you were hoping for.