calithin83 Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 why do we care about our exes after even being in the relationship we werent happy? i dunno i really am giving up..i dont want to see him, talk to him..NOTHING..i just want to move on with my life.. i know there is so much out there for me and i also know that i am a girl with a great personality, good feelings and lots going for her and he was unable to see it..so whatever..it really his loss... Link to post Share on other sites
tom_gbr Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 i know what u mean about caring for your ex...my feelings for her were still really strong for her until i found out she got with some guy she met in a bar and they have been talking lots on the phone...so much for my ex wanting to be single to sort out everything thats going on in her life. i didnt deserve to be dumped the way i did....two weeks after i took her to paris for valentines day and our 6 month anniversary...right before all the holidays where we had planned to stay in her dads empty house and the worst of all she did it over the phone like a coward. i loved her so much....i would of done anything for this girl...i am a great guy and i deserve better than that. i just cant understand how she changed so much...she used to love me so much and now.....nothing Link to post Share on other sites
littlemissomg Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 Five months after my bf of four years (recently proposed) admitted cheating and we split up... even after seeing him out with the other woman... there are very occasional times when I think 'oh it would be so simple if he'd just stayed faithful'... but the truth is I love my new life, I had to absolutely rebuild my life from scratch and I've discovered how strong I am. Care for him? Not exactly... I don't even care enough to be mad at what he did any more. But sometimes not having him there is tough, simply because it's not what I'm used to. It does get easier. Everyone says that, but it's true... do your suffering, get as low as possible, and rise above it. Show yourself your strength and then move on to a better, happier life. Link to post Share on other sites
littlemissomg Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 Tom - I know what you mean about the way you were dumped... my ex spent months emotionally pulling away from me as he fell out of love with me, he started gaining independence, had his affair, all the time as he was really preparing to pull away he was openly proposing, looking for houses for us to move into and planning a Las Vegas wedding for us which would have been this summer. Then, when he realised other women were interested/ he was strong enough without me, he admitted his affair because he wanted me to end it... this, the day before my birthday, a month after our 4 year anniversary and a month before Christmas. I have no bad feelings for what he did, but I will always think of him as a bad person because of the way he did it - he didn't give me the chance to prepare for the split, and that hurts as much as his cheating did. And yet now, it was the best thing he could have done and I wouldn't change it for anything. It made me. Link to post Share on other sites
meanttolive4ever Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 i still care about my ex..the love will always be there its just time for me to move on...seeing as he is rebounding with some chick..oh well he'll regret it longer down the road...she has nothing to offer him anyways..no job no car no money nothing...not even a diploma....haha. But I dont think that you really "fall" out of love...after all it only does take a spark to restart the flame. Link to post Share on other sites
tom_gbr Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 yeah i look back at how my ex acted the two weeks before she finished it....it was like she was trying to convince herself that she really wanted me...organising it so i could stay with her for two weeks.....things we could do together and the road trips we could go on in my new car. she also told me that when i was going to be at her mums wedding that i would be sitting on the head table which meant so much to me.....it was like i was part of the family and i would get to see the girl that i love looking her best as a bridesmaid....then the two weeks afterwards we were going to be alone together for two weeks. she made me accepting the break up so much harder by doing all this.convincing herself that she wanted me...it made it worse for both of us. the wedding is coming up real soon....i sent her mum and her fiance a card to say best of luck...my ex doesnt know that i have...i might hear from her when her mum gets it this week. i remember us walking back to our hotel alongside this river valentines evening in disneyland...holding her hand and thinking to myself that i am so lucky to have her in my life and that i couldnt see us not being together. that weekend was like a dream come true... spending valentines weekend in disneyland paris with the only girl that i have ever loved. in some ways i should be so angry for my ex breaking up with me they way she did...all that i mentioned above and the fact she finished it on the phone...also she wouldnt let me drive up and see her for two weeks...we live two hours apart. i think this was because she was worried that she would want me back if she saw me....she broke it off because of the fact that we never had time for each other because she got a saturday - sunday job and the fact that we live two hours apart so it was always an effort to see each other...also we are both still very young. she said that she still loved me when we broke up...she said it the night she broke up with me....crying down the phone...this made it so much harder to accept. i just wish we had a couple more months together so we could do all these things together that we had planned...and all the suprises that i had planned for her....but i know that wont happen. i just hope she still thinks about me and looks back at everything we have had together. she said to me that i had given her the best six months of her life. Link to post Share on other sites
meanttolive4ever Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 You know the funny thing about my ex was that when i told him i'd do anything for him and that i loved him so much...he would ask "you really do love me that much dont you?" and it just made me smile...gosh i hate guys. Link to post Share on other sites
Author calithin83 Posted May 9, 2004 Author Share Posted May 9, 2004 wow im amazed at all the things u guys wrote, some of u sound so wise.... I just want u all to know that even though i had a hard time not talking to him at first..and today is4th day no contact..im feeling so much better about myself!! im really feeling like imma get over him in no time...ive been smiling alot today..and i guess im starting to realize how much im worth, i had become blind and i thought i needed him in order to be happy..but now i realize i dont...he had it so good with me..my gosh!!! i mean i did so much for him, and i dont even knowhow..i guess cos i loved him...and whether he misses that well i dont know..should i care? maybe not..thats his problem.. he really didnt do much for me...ok he took me to eat...and umm....well ...thats almost about it...maybe he did me lil favors but nothing big..so theres not much to miss....anyways ive blocked him from AIM...havent called him and DEFINETELY WONT..imma text him tonight just cos i need my book for school.. but i really dont wanna see him, or talk to him..but imma just see him cos i need my book but i wont say anything..cos really i dont wanna talk to him..theres no point..ITS OVER and i want it to stay that way.. Let him date all the chicks he wants, hey he might get lucky and find someone who he wants, cos obviously i wasnt what he wanted.so whatever....i dunno...im excited of my future without him..i know im growing and will be someone totally different in a positive way...i needed that change... Link to post Share on other sites
Author calithin83 Posted May 9, 2004 Author Share Posted May 9, 2004 oh another thing..ive been hurt from him since last year after my bday on july...so dont think that the 4day no contact and im already feeling good..nah ive been off since last year in july...and we had been on and off and so i guess all that hurt is starting to heal til now...so hmm how many months has that been? basically 10 months...10 months where he didnt appreciate me...so whatever! Link to post Share on other sites
meanttolive4ever Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 hmm i think my ex is calling me...seriously. its starting to get to me..cause i dont know if its him or if its the wrong number. i dont know..but its starting to freak me out. Link to post Share on other sites
pixiegrrl28 Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 Why don't you answer the phone and find out if it is him or not? Link to post Share on other sites
meanttolive4ever Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 Originally posted by pixiegrrl28 Why don't you answer the phone and find out if it is him or not? well i did ask him to call me sometime....but why would he block his number? he knows that i always want to talk to him... Link to post Share on other sites
pixiegrrl28 Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 So, answer it then!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
meanttolive4ever Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 Originally posted by pixiegrrl28 So, answer it then!!!! lol he hasnt called since last night...so i doubt he'll call for another week..thats just the way we are now lol Link to post Share on other sites
FreeMe Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 Wow calithin83, You've come a long way! It's great to hear you so positive and feeling good about yourself. It seems like something clicked and made you cross that line to where you've suddenly realized the truth - that you don't need someone who treats you the way he did and it really is HIS LOSS. You sound upbeat and I'm really happy for you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author calithin83 Posted May 10, 2004 Author Share Posted May 10, 2004 thank u "freakme"..ya i feel so different now..i dont even know how..it just somewhat just happened..i just got so pissed on thurs taht he can say "IM single as a bird"...and i guess thats when i was like screw this relationhip..i had way so much patience with him, and iwasnt that happy since july 2003..but now its may 2004...and lots will be changing... my parents r moving out..to another place..a nicer place:) n im most likely going to cal state fullerton:), besides that im eating right and getting in shape..finally im super determined to get super shapy..lol:) not that i was ever out of shape..but now i have so much more motivation then before and im starting to feel worthy of me..i am really proud that finally i called it quits..and its the first time i dont regret it!!! n i dont ever wanna go back..!!! well i will keep u all updated..i really hope to keep progressing .. Link to post Share on other sites
tom_gbr Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 i found out that it really helped getting in shape....im down the gym every day and im loving how im looking right now...recently i feel so happy with the way i look and ive noticed girls looking at me and smiling all the time when im on nights out....all i need now is the confidence to go up and chat to them!...its been over 6 months since ive chatted someone up and i seem to be useless at the moment....doesnt help that im usually pissed out of my head so i dont know what im saying. i know that i have so much to offer to someone and i really hope i can meet someone who will appreciate everything i do for them. i dont know why i still care about my ex....i mean would you if you were dumped the way i was?...i suppose thats just me...i care too much. Link to post Share on other sites
Durden Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 Tom, my ex said exactly the same thing to me when we split up!! wanted to be single to sort her life out. Then hey presto!! she phones me telling me about all the ppl she's been with!! I could always tell when she was lying to me anyway, her lips moved. I got a call from her yesterday, I shouldnt have even answered the phone. Telling me about all these ppl who have been chatting her up and stuff. Asked if i had a girlfiend yet and stuff. I just end up taking the piss out of her down the phone, and she still comes back for more!! Next time i wont answer the phone. I was with a girl for 3 yrs, was devastated when we broke up. Havent spoke to her for about 3-4 yrs, doubt i'll ever speak to her again. I'm happy on my own at the moment, dont get no one nagging at me!! Link to post Share on other sites
sanjnyc Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 hey guys and gals. Well its been two weeks now since I havent spoken to my ex who broke up with me about 2 months ago cus she wanted to be single and see what else is out there. OUCH!! Im really hurting right now. Last time we spoke she said she wants to go out to dinner one of these days but I havent heard from her since nor have I called her cus I have my pride. Even though I think about calling her everyday, I don't. The though of her being with someone else makes me sick to my stomach. I hate when those thoughts come. I guess we want what we can't have, right? I know there were so many times when I was in the relationship that I didnt want to be there but as soon as she breaks up with me then I care so much. Whats up with that? I know I love her and I was sooooo good to her and she didnt reciprocate. I also know that shes not worth all this suffering. I just have this lonely feeling and I hope it goes away soon. I have friends but its not the same. I keep checking my phone so see if she calls and im counting the days that we have not spoken. I know its stupid but I keep making the connection to days we havent spoken = chance we'll get back together. LOL The longer we go without speaking maybe means shes forgetting about me. I hate this. Link to post Share on other sites
meanttolive4ever Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 i havent spoke to my ex in like 2 weeks.. Link to post Share on other sites
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