Ghosst Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 I know there is ebb and flow to recovery but some days I just want to have a tantrum like a child and beat something! After not even five months, my ex has moved his new GF into his house, she has sold her apartment and he has posted how much he loves his life. He bought new appliances, painted, etc. and while we were together he would not even buy a new couch, which the dog had chewed half the cushion away! I think he met her in April....around the time he asked me to marry him and then recanted...and in June he phoned me for a favour and then he messaged me asking me about the guy I was dating (who happened to be a former co-worker of his, which I did not know at the time), he could not understand why he was jealous. I was still working through things and the dates with the former co-worker were nothing more than friendly. I can't stand that I still think about him. I still feel like he belongs to me and should be pining away (kinda selfish I know). He has moved on and here I am being silly. I tried dating on POF and, although I met some nice men, no clicks and I kept comparing them so I just deleted my account. It was not fair and clearly still not fair to date someone new. I hate that my feelings are overpowering my logic. I have made a list of all the things he has done that made me break things off initially...which were good darned reasons. I read them and I know it was the right decision but darn it all his running around in my mind is exhausting me. I think my next step will be exercises each time I think of him....hmmm at that rate I might be a bodybuilder by 2012! I hope you are all having better success at getting over things than I am.
shortee143 Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 Ghosst- well despite all this, you def sound like you have a pretty logical thought pattern. Feelings seem to always outweigh logic!! My ex moved on to his new girl 2 months after he told me he didnt want a relationship. (And I have gotten way too much insider info bc him and I are in the same social circle). Logically I know one thing, but than those darn feelings get in the way, so i have my weak moments. Soon enough that logic will in fact overpower the feelings, it just takes awhile. The brain really takes its sweet time....I see my ex at parties with his new gf, but in my mind, I still see us, and have that whole "couple identity" with him, like he is mine..but no he is not anymore!! At some point, I think our poor brain/heart gets oh so emotionally drained that it switches into acceptance mode. Nonetheless, as over it as we might think we are- seeing the ex move on, etc..will 9 out of 10 times trigger something inside us.
Author Ghosst Posted September 13, 2011 Author Posted September 13, 2011 That he moved a new person into his home so quickly might not bode well for the success of his relationship. Of course, that shouldn't be your concern at this point anyhow, but I doubt anyone would blame you for lingering on it. I went through a similar circumstance -- nine months after being dumped, I got a voicemail from the ex about some "left over bills" and getting the utilities from what had previously been "our place" off of my name. A not so subtle way of saying "I'm moving in with my new man!". Of course, about 24 months after that, she finally figured out he was gay. Funny how life works out sometimes! Wow, gay....now there is karma!
Author Ghosst Posted September 13, 2011 Author Posted September 13, 2011 Ghosst- well despite all this, you def sound like you have a pretty logical thought pattern. Feelings seem to always outweigh logic!! My ex moved on to his new girl 2 months after he told me he didnt want a relationship. (And I have gotten way too much insider info bc him and I are in the same social circle). Logically I know one thing, but than those darn feelings get in the way, so i have my weak moments. Soon enough that logic will in fact overpower the feelings, it just takes awhile. The brain really takes its sweet time....I see my ex at parties with his new gf, but in my mind, I still see us, and have that whole "couple identity" with him, like he is mine..but no he is not anymore!! At some point, I think our poor brain/heart gets oh so emotionally drained that it switches into acceptance mode. Nonetheless, as over it as we might think we are- seeing the ex move on, etc..will 9 out of 10 times trigger something inside us. Thanks Nice to know others experience the same things. I am glad we don't run in the same circles. I think I would have issues if I had to see him with his new GF.
RIO5 Posted September 13, 2011 Posted September 13, 2011 How are you finding information about him? It really helps if you cut off ties with him. It doesnt have to be forever but give yourself enough time to not be 'fazed' by him anymore.
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