MsButton Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 (edited) My situation, broke up 3 months ago with boyfriend (34, I’m 29) of 5 months because his ex (who has a new boyfriend) reappeared and he realised he wasn’t over the break up (first serious girlfriend of 1 year) and could not therefore have a serious relationship with me. He has met up with her a few times to try and get some sort of closure because he wants to sort himself out. I’ve tried to set boundaries with him as regards communication between us but he always goes too far, flirting, drunk texts etc. We met for the first time last week at a work function where we had a bit of an intense conversation about what was going on. His head is still messed up. I really like him (even though I played it very cool throughout the relationship) and told him so. I said that I didn’t know if we could continue to be friends because we always end up flirting which gets my hopes up. I don’t want to wait around for some who’s that confused. Any advice? Can NC work? Edited September 13, 2011 by MsButton Correction Link to post Share on other sites
A7X Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 I think your subject says it all, don't wait around, move on and be happy. It's what most ppl on here need to do no matter how difficult it may be. I learned the hard way, don't make it harder on yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
blahblahr Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 The only think you could do is try to move on from him. If you just wait for him to get his head straight then its not worth it. I don't know how you guys get allow or anything, but if he doesn't know what he wants he shouldn't be wroth your time. Just give him space... don't text him or call him or meet up with him. Try to move on. Go have a girls day and have fun... get your mind off things. He'll come back to you. He'll realize what he is missing. He'll eventually call you or text you. when he does stay relaxed and don't give in and right away start talking about your relationship. just pretend you're getting to know him again. I hope that helped a little Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 My situation, broke up 3 months ago with boyfriend (34, I’m 29) of 5 months because his ex (who has a new boyfriend) reappeared and he realised he wasn’t over the break up (first serious girlfriend of 1 year) and could not therefore have a serious relationship with me. He has met up with her a few times to try and get some sort of closure because he wants to sort himself out. I’ve tried to set boundaries with him as regards communication between us but he always goes too far, flirting, drunk texts etc. We met for the first time last week at a work function where we had a bit of an intense conversation about what was going on. His head is still messed up. I really like him (even though I played it very cool throughout the relationship) and told him so. I said that I didn’t know if we could continue to be friends because we always end up flirting which gets my hopes up. I don’t want to wait around for some who’s that confused. Any advice? Can NC work? You "really liking him" does not take away the bolded sections. This doesn't end well for you, and you know that. Move on before you become more invested. Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted September 13, 2011 Share Posted September 13, 2011 i was in a similar situation as well. he too wanted to flirt with me while also talking to other women and pining over ghosts of girlfriends (and an ex-wife) past. the best thing i could have done for myself was go NC. did he come back? in the beginning yes. to continue to flirt and tell me about the girls he was dating which is why i went right back to NC. lol. NC really isn't a game. it's to get your sanity and dignity back and take back the power from someone who is leaving you in a perpetual state of limbo which quite possible will never end. so yes, NC can work. but only if you are doing it to get *you* back -- not your ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MsButton Posted September 13, 2011 Author Share Posted September 13, 2011 I definitely want to get my sanity back! It is very unlike me to be like this. Thank you for your messages. I know you're right, it's just difficult to convince myself that I have to let it go. Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 it won't be an easy process but it will be worth of it. it's been six months since i let go and now i don't see how i put up with all that craziness to begin with! Link to post Share on other sites
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