Need some encouragement

[eveangel]

It's been almost a year since my ex (of 5 years) and I broke up. Since then, we were still very much a part of each other's lives which was a HUGE mistake, I KNOW! =( He was my first boyfriend, first love, and I his. What did we know?

 

Anyway, since we were still in full contact with each other, you can say we really broke up a couple months ago, which was when he met someone over the summer. It was a fling turned into a budding romance/relationship. Happened out of nowhere. I've been a wreck since. I really thought I was moving on since we broke up last year, despite the fact that I was still hanging out with him, being friends, etc. Then this.

 

My understanding is that he isn't over me either. I learned that this girl had just gotten out of a relationship a week prior to meeting my ex, so in a sense, they're rebounding each other. My ex had told me only a week ago that he wants to be close to me someday, as best friends and maybe in the long-run, get married. WTF?!

 

I don't know the pace of their relationship, but I do know that he is taking her to some of the places we've been to together. I wonder if that means he's trying to relive our relationship/memories through this person. They spend hours together...like 6 hours when they go on "dates." On their first date, she cooked for him, stayed in his apartment while he was out working and resumed the date well into the night. Is that normal? Does that mean they're moving too fast?

 

Things that have been plaguing my mind: How can he be pursuing someone else when he still loves me, still haunted by our memories together? He doesn't know why he wants to be in a relationship. I know this because we had talked recently about trying to move on and such...

 

I am so angry with him. Hurt and angry.

[KathyM]

It's been almost a year since my ex (of 5 years) and I broke up. Since then, we were still very much a part of each other's lives which was a HUGE mistake, I KNOW! =( He was my first boyfriend, first love, and I his. What did we know?

 

Anyway, since we were still in full contact with each other, you can say we really broke up a couple months ago, which was when he met someone over the summer. It was a fling turned into a budding romance/relationship. Happened out of nowhere. I've been a wreck since. I really thought I was moving on since we broke up last year, despite the fact that I was still hanging out with him, being friends, etc. Then this.

 

My understanding is that he isn't over me either. I learned that this girl had just gotten out of a relationship a week prior to meeting my ex, so in a sense, they're rebounding each other. My ex had told me only a week ago that he wants to be close to me someday, as best friends and maybe in the long-run, get married. WTF?!

 

I don't know the pace of their relationship, but I do know that he is taking her to some of the places we've been to together. I wonder if that means he's trying to relive our relationship/memories through this person. They spend hours together...like 6 hours when they go on "dates." On their first date, she cooked for him, stayed in his apartment while he was out working and resumed the date well into the night. Is that normal? Does that mean they're moving too fast?

 

Things that have been plaguing my mind: How can he be pursuing someone else when he still loves me, still haunted by our memories together? He doesn't know why he wants to be in a relationship. I know this because we had talked recently about trying to move on and such...

 

I am so angry with him. Hurt and angry.

Don't allow him to string you along or to keep your hopes up. That's very insensitive of him for expecting you to stay emotionally attached while he pursues another relationship. Tell him you can't continue to be friends with him, because you have stronger feelings for him than that, and it's too painful to see him with somebody else, so you won't be communicating with him or seeing him anymore.

[stopthemadness]

It's been almost a year since my ex (of 5 years) and I broke up. Since then, we were still very much a part of each other's lives which was a HUGE mistake, I KNOW! =( He was my first boyfriend, first love, and I his. What did we know?

 

Anyway, since we were still in full contact with each other, you can say we really broke up a couple months ago, which was when he met someone over the summer. It was a fling turned into a budding romance/relationship. Happened out of nowhere. I've been a wreck since. I really thought I was moving on since we broke up last year, despite the fact that I was still hanging out with him, being friends, etc. Then this.

 

My understanding is that he isn't over me either. I learned that this girl had just gotten out of a relationship a week prior to meeting my ex, so in a sense, they're rebounding each other. My ex had told me only a week ago that he wants to be close to me someday, as best friends and maybe in the long-run, get married. WTF?!

 

I don't know the pace of their relationship, but I do know that he is taking her to some of the places we've been to together. I wonder if that means he's trying to relive our relationship/memories through this person. They spend hours together...like 6 hours when they go on "dates." On their first date, she cooked for him, stayed in his apartment while he was out working and resumed the date well into the night. Is that normal? Does that mean they're moving too fast?

 

Things that have been plaguing my mind: How can he be pursuing someone else when he still loves me, still haunted by our memories together? He doesn't know why he wants to be in a relationship. I know this because we had talked recently about trying to move on and such...

 

I am so angry with him. Hurt and angry.

 

Hi, so sorry for your heart ache. Been there done that. I think that although you two have been "hanging out" even though you were broke up. None the less you were still brokeup. Ya know? It was just a matter of time before one of you met smone else right. You really need to STOP thinking about his new relationship. If he likes her, he likes her. But I will say this. Me and my ex have been brokeup a little over a year and hes gone through about four women that Ive heard of. It always starts out fine. Seems to go well for a few months then, I dont know what happens But it seems to fade. My point is you really dont know if its gona stick till its gone on for a more then a few months. FYI.I only know about my ex cause in between women he almost always reaches out to me.(sad huh) but no worries. I dont respond to him. Am on to it.

Try to stop thinking of your ex and start thinking of you. I know its hard!! It was hard for me too. But I am here to tell you. It can be done. I had it bad for my ex. And here I am a year later. I joined a gym for a while. But wasnt feeling it. I started back at church. Then just stopped going after a few months. And now I found Yoga!! I lov love it. I say all that to say this. Its not gona happen over nite, but its time to move on. Think about what youve always wanted to do but never got around to it and do it. At first I thought my sadness would never leave. But it has. And so will yours after a while. Go No/Contact for as long as you can stand it.(I remember how hard it is at first) Then the next time, go longer. Good luck..keep posting it helps...