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High Contrast, or something else?


Gordon

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I'm 23 years old guy, some of my friends say that I'm late bloomer, 'cause I started dating girls when I was 21 :)

 

I've met a girl who rocked my mind. After just a few hours of hanging out we made great connection. I thought I was dreaming. After a long search I finally found someone I really, really liked, and it was mutual.

 

We're together for about 6 months now. There wasn't any brawl between us and we love each other very much. My friends like her and vice versa.

 

But, some problems emerged recently. She's my 2nd sexual partner, and I'm her 6th. Ok, fine, not all of us are late bloomers, and everyone has a right to have past. And it would be very easy for me to accept it, if it was not for her casual relationships, flings. I know it sounds stupid, but it really bothers me.

 

One of her ex's is her best friend. Ok, I've even met a guy. I trust her when she says they're just friends, and that's what it is.

 

But then, one night when we were out, she called a guy she hooked up with a year ago, wondering if he's arround. She said that she would like to see him briefly, and ask him if everything is fine. She considers him as a great friend (?!), even if she knows him very perfunctory (I mean, you can't get to really know someone after a few days spent together, right?).

 

And then, there's me, one of her best friends (her ex) and this guy (her fling). It was very, very awkward... So three guys that she's slept with are standing one next to the other. Tell me if I'm a jerk, but it struck me like a lighting.

 

She doesn't think of it as a big deal. Same with her friends. It's just their way of life. But it's something I can't fully understand, or accept...

 

So, I'm not worried about her cheating on me. That won't happen. She is creazy about us, so am I. What bothers me the most is the way she sees her sexuality. It's fine by me to have a friend who's hooking up, having meaningless sex etc... but when it comes to my gf, it's different. I really like when girl thinks of her intimacy as something important and, even sacred.

 

 

I ask myself, are we high contrast to each other?

Edited by Gordon
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