harcourthoney Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 Hi there, hope someone can help me with my situation. Recently my partner brought up the subject of swinging. He recently found out his grandparents are long time swingers, and his Mum is pretty much one too (although single). Whilst I see nothing wrong with swinging, (infact I applaud those who can without jealous etc) I wonder what's suddenly brought this on? We have an active sex life, and I've recently been talking about marriage. We've been together 7yrs, no dependants but we have bought a house together. He's very closed and unimpressed with the idea of marriage. His parents are divorced and he lived through the very bad breakdown/up of it so I think that's the main thing that puts him off. However last night he said he thinks leading a wholly monotonous life which is what marriage is, is boring and he doesn't think healthy. So I'm all for exploring new ideas in the bedroom and even opening up our relationship. But I do have some (probably common) concerns. The main one is what if he realises there is someone better? We have discussed both swinging and polamory. And he does seem to want to swing/just have sex with others, not love another. However he was speaking about us getting a girlfriend/forming a triad. I know he shares a great deal of information with my m-i-l, who btw doesn't like me. I've given her no reason to, I don't understand it and it upsets me. I worry that if we did form a triad, he would come out to his mum immediately and she would be right up in our faces, wanting to get to know the gf and being generally in the way. I'm unsure how to broach everything and am now very confused. Being married is something I've really wanted for a long time. But now I don't know if it could happen, ever. We have a strong loving relationship. But his family are really hard work, and I would hate to bring someone into that environment. And I can't see how to incorporate such a lifestyle into a marriage long term. Any ideas/help much appreciated, thanks. x Link to post Share on other sites
insaneinthebrain Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 this is really complicated... It honestly doesnt sound like you want to do this at all.. its a troublesome thing, to know that your partner wants to have sex with someone else! Link to post Share on other sites
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