drewsmom Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 he came back. we were hanging out for a couple months prior, as i had to have surgery and he was taking care of our son, after that he started taking us to dinner and to our sons ball games as i couldnt drive. we were apart for a yr and a half, went through all the court hearings and a week before we were to sign the final papers he kept asking me to lunch, I blew him off for the week then my sister said to just go and see what he wanted. she wanted to know more than me. so i went and he admited he screwed up and missed me, and missed our family. we agreed to take it slow and date. last saturday we moved our things into his apartment. things are going great. our son is thrilled to have his family back. I dont think husbands mom is to happy but were not concerned about what others think. today we celebrate our 11 yr anniversary. we took a family trip last month it was wonderful to be together again. so reconciliation is possible. my husband asked for the divorce and had a lawyer the next day. i never thought after him spending thousands of dollars during the divorce would he ever have come back. I even got half the money for the sale of the house which was alot. he is very frugle so i figured he would go all the way. but i guess love is more important than money. Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 What are/ were your conditions for taking him back? Link to post Share on other sites
andyg99 Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 So have you both addressed (and fixed) the reason for you two splitting up (whatever it was)? I hope you both have. Link to post Share on other sites
BrokenHeart80 Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 So happy for you guys! Link to post Share on other sites
Lis007 Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 YAY!!! Good on you and best of luck!! Wonderful to read a happy thread full of love and hope on here for a change xxxx Link to post Share on other sites
Craig2425 Posted September 14, 2011 Share Posted September 14, 2011 I haven't read your thread so I'm sorry. Make sure you both have a plan to change what was wrong and fix everything, Trust me. I was able to get back together and she wasn't ready and couldn't try. It hurts just the same for me and the kids. Good luck! I hope you guys can work it out he came back. we were hanging out for a couple months prior, as i had to have surgery and he was taking care of our son, after that he started taking us to dinner and to our sons ball games as i couldnt drive. we were apart for a yr and a half, went through all the court hearings and a week before we were to sign the final papers he kept asking me to lunch, I blew him off for the week then my sister said to just go and see what he wanted. she wanted to know more than me. so i went and he admited he screwed up and missed me, and missed our family. we agreed to take it slow and date. last saturday we moved our things into his apartment. things are going great. our son is thrilled to have his family back. I dont think husbands mom is to happy but were not concerned about what others think. today we celebrate our 11 yr anniversary. we took a family trip last month it was wonderful to be together again. so reconciliation is possible. my husband asked for the divorce and had a lawyer the next day. i never thought after him spending thousands of dollars during the divorce would he ever have come back. I even got half the money for the sale of the house which was alot. he is very frugle so i figured he would go all the way. but i guess love is more important than money. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 What had been 'wrong' was her H left her for another woman and filed for D. Source That's a pretty amazing recovery, considering the short timeline. Hope it continues to go well. Keep us posted Link to post Share on other sites
Author drewsmom Posted September 15, 2011 Author Share Posted September 15, 2011 We are working on our issues, because it takes two, I wasnt perfect(almost LOL) I did put most of my energy into our son, but i have an excuse because he didnt bother doing anything with him. he had told our mc, i didnt rinse out the shower, i said is that all you got. even the mc said in my next sesssion that was just an excuse a bad one but an excuse to get out. he sold his business and i know he was stressed. i am not making excuses for him because our marriage was for better or worse richer or poorer. I think when he did ask for the divorce he was sorry a few months later but he got his father involved and there was alot of money involved and he was intimidated by his father. I mean he had 2 lawyers, one cost 5000 just to step in his office. we were always civil to each other, I just moved on and lived my life with our son the way we were gonna live it without my husband and his dad. things prob went sour with him and gf about 6 months into the divorce because thats when he started coming around wanting to do things with our son. I get real nervous in the courts and our last court apperence i got on the stand and was the strongest he ever seen me. he looked more nervous than I did. I thought i would ball when i got out but it was actually a relief that it was over, no more court dates. I was running out of cute outfits for court anyway. then I had to have surgery and he was there all the time, he brought our son to the hospital to see me, and when I got out i was taking son to the movies and husband asked if he could join us, we went to dinner and the movie and it was nice but i still knew in a couple months we would be legally divorced. so i knew not to look into it and i just moved on again. he started calling and asking to come take son just to play ball, and would show up when i was making dinner so i would invbite him to stay. but then son started thinking he was coming back so i had a talk with him and told him he could come get him but he had to take him play ball and leave,not hang around because son was getting the wrong idea. I think thats when it hit him that it was over and I was already moved on. thats when he started asking me to lunch. when he asked if we could try to reconcile I told him i had doubts it would work, even his father had told me he told him to get on medication for his problems. he flips out over the stupidest things. and i wasnt putting up with that anymore, not walking on egg shells in my own home. so far he is working on that and doing good, he slips sometimes but i know hes trying. we never made time for each other either, now we get a sitter and we go out on dates. I also hated when i wanted to go out and he got mad, now i just tell him i am going out tonite, i am not asking your permission i am just letting you know i am going. i think i was to laid back with him and he took advantage of it. not anymore, he knows now i can do it on my own and will if i have to. he didnt have much to complain about with me, i usually stayed home took care of him and our son, there was always a dinner on the table the house was clean, and he didnt have anything to say about our sex life cause he got it all. my friend used to say it that men dont leave because of no sex and she was right, because when i tell u he got it all believe me he got it all and still left. mabey i was to easy. so we are still a work in progress, we can only put in 110% each to make it work and thats what we are doing. I have told him he needs to show more affection towards me, he lacks in that department, and he is he will lay with me and we are affectionate toward each other. i am trying to do my part also and show him more attention and not just our son. I also start a job this fall as i was a stay at home mom and i know he had alot of stress paying for everything, it was an expensive home(the taxes alone were 8000 a yr, electric was 600 a month) but it was mutual that i would be a stay at home mom if we had a child. so we are starting a fresh new life together and we will see where it goes. Link to post Share on other sites
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